If you're still single now, there are probably a a lot of questions running in your head. But being on your own for a long time helps you discover more about yourself. It's more than just freedom or independence. It's facing the world with so much courage. It's trying to make the most of your life without having to depend on someone. It's being happy on your own and loving yourself with all that you are.
We've been chasing love only to realize that it's not gonna work out that way. The right time will come that you will be blessed with the one you deserve. The one who also prayed to be with you. The one who will make you believe in love again. Let life surprise you. Hang in there.
Sweet Karma by April Anne Nemenzo
Thinking ‘bout the days I feel so lonely and not okay. Then you came unexpectedly. Happiness comes out genuinely, for you are here already. The wind blows and I was carried away towards you. I’m a bitch, you are tender and sweet. It was dark but you gave the light. So many stars yet you’re the only one shining in my eyes. It was a dark afternoon when I heard a beep on my phone. You’re just nobody, I gave a little bit of my attention to you. It started in a simple word. Ignore you afterwards. Until I don’t have time for you anymore, cause I know there’s a lot more. I started ignoring the fact that you were there, I accepted a lot more boys. I don’t really care about you...but you change my heart.
Boys are everywhere, I know. Boys promise they won’t leave you at first, but believe me that was just in the start. As I always say “I won’t believe any of this boys anymore, they’re just ruining my mood”. I don’t believe in attachment. I don’t care about commitment. I fucking care only about my self after a while of realizing I don’t need anyone. Let them be my pass time. Let me hurt them, too. Just the way they squeeze my heart till it tears apart. Not until you came, your warmth give me hope. My cold heart can’t ignore that I like you being around anymore. You tried to get my attention again, you said “hello” and I said “hi” but we don’t really care what we’re going to talk about. You consistently talk to me for days, until I came to realize “this is not me anymore”. Instead of being my pass time, you became part of my life cycle. You made me feel that someone’s going to care about me. Someone is waiting for me. Someone will be there to hold me. I gave you a hard time understanding my personality but you never give up, showing not the same way like the other boys would handle me. All I know is I’m in pain and I’m alone, but you were at my back this time.
When I’m about to fall you catch me and let me stand. Believing that everything’s possible. You never let me down even at my hardest time. I tried to push you away, but never in your chance you showed me I wasn’t enough. You never promised, and that’s the thing I started to love about you. I don’t believe in promises, too. You were my second chance. I’m hopelessly lost. I’ve been bad. I treat people badly because I thought they deserve those since they didn’t care about how I feel. They deceived me, too. They let me feel I was the only one that they care about and they love to share their moments with me- but actually I’m just being fooled. They just played with my feelings. So I learned and play along. In times of my loneliness you held my hand. You make me happy, that was a big change in my mood. You showed me the real you, but I’m afraid you’ll know me deeper. But I give you my trust and so as you to me. I can’t imagine now without you at my side. You healed my heart in the shortest time. I’m not a showy person but you never forced me to do things I’m not. Instead, you remind me that there’s still a chance, a hope and plan to fulfill (together with you). You’re not the same as them. They are boys and you’re a man. I know you were sent by God. He sends me my sweet karma.
"Why it's okay not to be okay"
Life is a roller-coaster ride. Sometimes, we're on the lowest point where we can take this as an opportunity to brace ourselves for the most fun part of the ride. At times, we're on the highest point where we feel overwhelmed because it seems like we are able to do whatever we can at that particular moment---as if we've conquered the world. But we also get worried about what might happen once we feel that we're slowly going back to the ground again. It is inevitable for us humans to experience this kind of ride in our life because it makes the journey much more real, fun, and memorable. So today, we're going to talk about the reasons why it's okay not to be okay.
First, it makes us feel what we have not felt yet. And makes us remember that kind of feeling. Does that make any sense yet? For instance, if you are the type of person who always tops the class or gets good grades, and then one day you got a failing mark or lower than the usual, you might suddenly feel uncomfortable just like how you constantly think of the whys: Why did I get a low score? Why didn't I get the score I wanted? Why did this thing happen? But guess what? That experience is actually a good thing because we can learn something from it and we will be able to experience what it feels like to get a low score. Stated otherwise, how it feels like to fail. Yes, at first we will be uncomfortable with that kind of feeling but once we encounter that kind of situation again, we will be able to say "Nah. That's nothing, I have already experienced that kind of situation already." And you'll be surprised that you're not that kind of girl/guy who feel depressed because of getting a low score.
Second, being not okay makes us reminisce the good times. These lines from the song Let Her Go by Passenger are nearly relatable to the second reason. "Only know you've been high when you're feeling low Only hate the road when you're missing home Only know you love her when you let her go" Isn't it a beautiful message? So, if you're probably depressed, take that time for you to relive the past moments you have; but of course, don't let that sadness take too much of your time and find someone whom you can talk to relieve that feeling.
Third, being not okay let us know who are the people who will be there during our tough times. Those are the best times to know who are the good ones and otherwise. So take that opportunity to know who belongs to this and that. This is also the time where we can learn something from different walks of life and put that into mind.
Fourth, it makes us appreciate and love more the life we have and the people around us (yes, even our enemies). Being in this part of our life of being not okay is one of actually the best part of our life because we will be able to realize how important the people around us are and know their significance in our life. Those who doesn't just care for us or pay attention whatever happens in our life are the people who are also important because they will also give us meaningful lesson that we truly cannot please everyone.
Fifth, being not okay for a while actually makes us become a stronger person.
As said in the Bible verse from Joshua 1:9: "Be strong and courageous; do not be frightened or dismayed, for the Lord, your God is with you wherever you go." Remember that when you're in a hard time, God is actually making a strong foundation for a new chapter in your life and that He has always a plan for you. So don't lose hope and continue reaching your goals in life!
There are lots of things I'll never let you know, things that I secretly scream at the back of my mind. Things you've never thought I've been thinking – and yes, it's all about you. Where do I start explaining for you to understand? That this adoration is going out of hand. Like all the girls who've come before, this one thinks she has something to bargain for.
Our exchange of words might be very short and few, yet each encounter always offers something new. I don't think you'll be pleased to know how I linger around, trying to seek places where your traces can be found. I always knew my chances on you were limited and you are a wall where doors are prohibited. But even with that, I still shamelessly climbed over. Not expecting what I can find underneath the covers.
The caps were turned, diplomas were received and new responsibilities were perceived. The rejection was clear but I still hold you dear. It's funny how the heart can start to bleed yet still continue to beat. Not even changing its direction, still pouring all of its affection. Selfishly looking at the same person, as if everything will stop in motion. When he turns back around and you hear the same fucking sound - of your heartbreaking and hopes crashing down. Cheers to the girl who never gets chosen. Right here, she waits and prays that someday their paths will cross again
What to expect during your first year in college
You suddenly don't feel smart as before. "Grabe miss ko na maging magaling sa ginagawa ko. Ngayon kahit anong aral, nakakabobo pa rin. Hanggang marunong lang ako hindi magaling."
I can still remember what my grade 6 teacher said to us, that we all have different timeline, our time to shine. Maybe in gradeschool you were outstanding but not in highschool, you're smart in highschool but not really in college and that's okay! It's normal. I used to be so sure to my ability since I graduated in highschool with flying colors. Not until college happened.
I got culture shocked and I was like woah! university students are surely on a different level. That's why I put a lot of effort in studying because if I don't do that, I'm afraid that I might not be able to catch up. It's okay to be competitive, but don't overdo it.
As we grow up, our social circle becomes bigger and bigger and because of that, we meet different kinds of people. Different kinds of people means different level of intelligence. But that doesn't mean that you are not smart too. You are smart and good enough in your own way. Its just that there will always be more intelligent and more talented than you. All you have to do is to accept it. If all of us have the same level of intelligence and talent, then the world will become boring. Why? Because there will be no element of surprise since all of us possessed the same intelligence and talent, there's nothing new to be anticipated.
You might not realize that at some point, you are smart to others too just like how you feel towards other people. See? All you have to do is to appreciate what you already have but that doesn't mean that you will settle to that. Enrich what you already have. Never stop learning. Have you ever wondered why there will always be better than us? maybe because they should serve as our inspiration to strive harder for our own good just like turning pain into power.
-Gwy June 13, 2020
It’s been 97 days of home quarantine. Living this quarantined life is not easy as it sounds. It’s not just staying at home, doing the things you want to do-- watching your current favorite series, reading those books you purchased but did not have the time to read it, discovering a new hobby or just chilling.
Everyone wants to be productive in this period of time. But the more I want to be productive, the more it affects my mental health too. I’ve been fixing my sleeping schedule since Day 1. I always go to sleep after midnight and would usually wake up in time for lunch.
One time, I had a good night’s sleep after having a meaningful conversation with my best friend who I consider my sister now. I guarantee you that we just have a talk every other day. I’ve come to realize that I did not pay attention in communication. I focused on solitude which is not a bad thing since it’s a room for self-realization and insights. Talking about mental health, it’s important to have someone to talk to about what you are feeling and the tangled thoughts inside your head.
Don’t be afraid to seek help from others. After all, we don’t always need advices, we just need someone to listen.
Hello everyone! I would like to introduce my little passion project I started exactly a month ago — VITAP0PS is my small indie art shop giving you a clean, minimal and vintage ~vibe~ stuff. It will really mean a lot to me if we can connect through my art. Bonus if you're into Hiligaynon slangs. I'll see you there! site: msha.ke/shovitap0ps instagram/pinterest: shopvitap0ps artist: vitap0ps
Hello, I'm Isabel and I'm a foodie from the South. I love trying out new dishes and pastries in the Metro while I ask myself if it's worth the hype. During this pandemic, I've decided to keep my foodie dreams alive by supporting my friends and small food businesses.
Aside from ordering from them, I've also created my own food blog via Instagram to express my thoughts and positive reviews about them to somehow help spread the word of their food and how other people should try it. At the end of the day, we are all helping one another through this difficult time by having multiple coping mechanisms - others to cook or bake while I write a review about what I eat.
Check out my food blog on Instagram @perdiviews and feel free to send me a message so I can collaborate with you soon!
It's not making sense. Maybe, it is. Everything is so blurry and vague. You can't seem to fathom what's happening. You're lost and searching- searching for the meaning behind what ifs and what could have beens. But life, we give meaning to life as if it's a beautiful paradise. Indeed it is.
But why we feel so gloomy, so empty? It seems like no light is passing through our soul. We're wounded. Hoping for healing. That's because, we're living. We celebrate life but we also fight for it. You feel all the pain, because you're living. You're not just alive, you're living. You can make it through all the storm and darkness. Wishing you well, Marj.
I was, but I am not. Desperately, I am trying to reach you – my hope. I am in this particular space in my own constructed world where doubts and frustrations recur. Emphasizing how scared I am being here, I never explored this area before. I was always in those places filled with benevolence, hope shining like the light the sun and the moon possess. And I didn’t have any plans to visit a ‘dark’ place, as how I described it then. But, as funny as how my world suddenly flipped, I am now here, completely lost with monsters persuading me to go insane.
How did I end up here? I can’t logically tell you the answer for that, but I guess, I know when. It started when I had to consider what college course do I want to pursue. Well, if you want to ask what ambition had occurred in my mind when I was young – which is usually the case in terms of life when you were like 7-year-old young - it was definitely being a doctor. I’d thought about wearing a medical coat with a stethoscope around my neck, ready to cure people from their illnesses. It was actually stuck in my mind for so long I almost thought that I was sure of it, yet, as a particular song yields, almost was never really enough and still, it is and will never be.
When I realized that such a perspective was slowly draining me, I tried my best to stand tough. I convinced myself that this was just temporary, that I could think of a way out of this. “There’s still plenty of time,” I once convinced myself. However, my environment demonstrated the contrary: I felt like I was completely out of time.
I was there when my classmates were happily talking about that ‘dream course’ they wish to take in their ‘dream university.’ I was there when my family was suggesting the thought of using my ‘suitable’ speaking voice for broadcasting and voice acting purposes. I was there when my teacher was convincing me that Education suited me the best. That ‘Stand tough!’ aura I used to own back then, suddenly transformed into ‘I give up!’ state, slowly destroying my being. And now, I am here in this space where doubts and frustrations are filling my former enthusiastic self. I need help.
I know, at this point, some of you may never consider me ‘fatal’ because, as you’re reading this, you may judge that I still have the ability to transform my thoughts into words that can be read, so that ‘automatically’ falls into the aspect of complete sanity. No, because I will never tell everything to you in the first place if I still have the urge to stand like I used to, relative to my belief that speaking up through writing is the best way to attract help.
When you look at the photo of mine above, you may say that I was okay. That I was successful. That I was never losing myself. Yes, I was. But, think about what happened days after that was taken and the message of this passage you started reading minutes before, do you think I am still the same girl smiling in the photo? I hope I will be or better yet, improve if the world will permit me. But, now I’m sure – I’m not the same.
LIFE ADVICE YOU NEED TO HEAR WHILE YOURE STILL YOUNG
This blog is dedicated to all teens out there struggling in determining what they really want in their life or if you simply want a glow up. And since were still facing a pandemic, I think this is also a season where everyone is re-thinking about their lives. So, I hope these advices might help you.
Tip #1. TAKE RISK - since most of you are still young, I advice you to take your biggest risk. Whether it may be taking the course you want, a skill you want to acquire or just simply taking the risk to throw away your emotional baggage from your childhood. While you're still young, you have very little to lose. You dont have that much commitments and responsibilities. Because the older you get, the more responsibilities and obligations came. So when they are still not piling up, take the risk! As for me, the biggest risk I took when I was still a teenager is to CUT OFF TOXIC FAMILY TIES.
I may sound rude here but, yeah. I decided to throw away my emotional baggage from my traumatic childhood and cut off some of my family ties and it is completely okay! You dont have to be bothered by whatever they will say. Because at your age, you are already investing on your growth as a person. If you really want to grow, THERE IS NO PERFECT TIME FOR YOU TO TAKE RISK BUT NOW. Because in taking risk you are actually giving yourself a reward of getting something amazing or beyond what you expect you can have. As they say, the bigger the risk, the bigger the reward. Keep in mind that the bigger the risk, the bigger possibility of FAILURE. But that is completely OKAY. Because just like what I said earlier, you are still young. You dont have so much to lose so, dont be afraid to take the risk and then fail. But after failing, learn from it and the more courage you have to take risk the greater the learning, reward or happiness. Ito na nga, how to take risk nga ba? And what are the risk that would actually help me to grow? #
2: VOICE LESSON - dont get me wrong, hindi ito vocalization para sa pagkanta. What I mean is, learn to listen to that VOICE INSIDE YOU. Listen to your heart, to your intuition and to your visions because it will be your GUIDE. Because I realize that as you go along your journey of your life and if you really want to be YOURSELF and be successful in achieving your goals, the only GUIDE that you should follow is your OWN VOICE.
It is okay to take and consider other people's advices but at the end of the day,you should never forget to listen to your own voice. Because that voice is what tells you what you truly want. How would you know that if it is your 'own' voice? Your own voice always comes from your HEART. The voice where YOU and GOD'S voice are one. Because I firmly believe that God knows your heart and that is where he reside. I like journaling because whenever I journal my thought every night and every morning, I feel a dual voice inside my head. Like, it contradicts what the other voice is telling. For example: If we have dreams or goals that puts us so much weight and pressure to the point that it makes you exhausted, STOP. Because it might be a dream or goal of someone else. I believe that your own dreams and goals may be frustrating most of the time, but that frustration has fueling feeling that will always tell you that 'This is the hard way to better so keep going'. Frustration in your own dreams will not make you feel exhausted because achieving a dream itself is a fulfilling feeling.
#3. TAKE ACTION - if you really want something to happen, take action. Dont just sit there and wait things to come your way. Make action or decisions that will take you to where you want to go in your life. Just like what I said in one of my novels that I am writing in wattpad, "There is no such thing as destiny or fate. Because YOU make your OWN life choices." For example, I cannot expect to be a published author if I dont write any novels right? The bottomline here is, if you are not moving forward you are actually moving backward. And it is a sad thing. Life is full of situations where you will be put in the line whether you take courage or just stay where you are. Because GROWING needs consistency in moving forward. So if you dont have to enough courage to take action, your life will always stay the same or worse you will continuously shrink down.
#4. EXPAND YOUR HORIZONS - this means stretching your comfort zone. I watched an anime entitled "Black Clover" there is a captain there where he always tell his subordinates to surpass their limits right, here right now. Going out of our comfort zones are surely scary and uncomfortable. But you have to accept the fact that you cannot stay on the coast forever. You have to change, because the only thing that is constant in this world is change right? Go out of your comfort zones because LIMITS are just in the MIND. There are disabled people who are successful in their own careers. Because the lesson here is, if you hold back there will be no growth. Because GROWTH blooms in DISCOMFORT.
Last, #5. INVEST IN YOURSELF - especially now that you are still young, you should focus on investing on yourself more. Time is your bestfriend at this point of your life. You have so much time to discover things about yourself. I never regret buying and reading books that I never knew will help me later on in dealing life's challenges. You can use that time to read books, gain wisdom, or pick a new skill, improve your talent and learn from your experiences. Keep learning outside your home or your school. Because the real battlefield is OUTSIDE. What you learn in school will only help you in your career but your wisdom and experiences will help you in life or as a person. People who doesnt embrace growth will never succeed in their life. (This is a reflection blog from my 21st birthday last week. I hope you can feature this on your page and I hope it can help others as well. )