more articles about: mental health

"The paradoxical idea of attaining a happier life and how to withstand these beliefs."

The Revolting Truth About Happiness by Theserenefae

If people ask you about your vision of a happier life we automatically envision ourselves having more money, true love, a better job, Instagram-worthy vacations, etc. But let me break this to you this, According to Dr. Laurie Santos, Professor of Psychology at Yale University and the voice behind The Happiness Lab podcast, "Most of the goals we think would make us happy do not really make us happy." And why is that? Simple, being happy is all in our minds. The human mind ploys us with these lenses on how we envision ourselves and our lives to be happy. The perception of "having" or "gaining" is the exact opposite of what will truly make our lives better. So how can we really be "happy"?

• Seek happiness inside you. This is a quintessential reason for our vision of happiness: misconceptions about having a lot of money would make me happy; owning this and that would make me happy; entering a relationship would make me happy. This is not the case, if you want to be truly happy with your relationship, you have to be already happy on your own. If you want satisfaction from others, you have to be satisfied with yourself. And so on.

• Fill that hole righteously We all have that tiny hole inside our hearts, tampering it with temporary band-aids. Fill this hole with purpose. Have you ever heard about The Three "M's"— Master, Mission, and Mate? Define who will be your Master, is it God? If that's so, your Mission could be following his words and will. Mate would be the last for they will be the best companion to fulfill your mission. Now hear me out, it is important to do this accordingly. We often times jumble it or invert it which can lead to failures.

• Give gifts to others. The wonderful grace in giving. There’s nothing like the rush of pure joy when you get a chance to give. However, this may not be something that we're used to. But apparently, openhandedness is our soul's true shape. As Eugene Peterson put it, "Giving is what we do best. It is the air into which we were born." This doesn't necessarily mean we have to give away our stuff but we can also present love, kindness, gratefulness, etc. in our own simplest ways to anyone such as giving time, encouragement, helping hand, or even forgiveness. Try giving and you'll receive inconceivable gifts in return.

• Savor moments. Savoring deeply intensifies our positive emotions while doing something that we love the most by simply stepping outside of the experience to review and appreciate the moment. You can practice this by having a delicious meal, reading a good book, or any activity that you enjoy and love. It can also be enhanced by sharing these experiences with others, appreciating such amazing moments, or staying present the entire time.

• Choose to Love Deeper Today's society relentlessly pressures all of us to have this "perfect" lifestyle such as pursuing careers that drain you, finding value through virtual world and purchases, letting achievements become your whole identity, and yet after all that you still feel empty and failure inside. Consumption is just skin deep—a shallow perception of happiness. Deep life brings the best out of us and others. It is about nourishing what you already have, focusing on the relationships than material wealth, becoming vulnerable at times, and being self-aware.

• Understand that Sufferings and Pain are part of Human Being. Always remember that loneliness and sufferings are inevitable. That is completely how life goes. You may be happy for a moment or a month but sooner or later great tribulation will start to kick in. Combat despair with graciousness. Count all the blessings that you have (and will have in near future, claim it!) by writing it down on a piece of paper or typing on your phone. Viola! an instant boost for happiness. We all know the fact that this superficial happiness won't work, but why do I keep on wanting? I already have all this wisdom about how to be happy for ages, but why can't I apply it to my own life?

First, you have to understand that simply knowing doesn't change your behavior. Care to realize that all the tips that I have mentioned are all verbs? Because at the end of the day, it is all about how you choose to be happy and initiate actions towards success. Know, reflect, visualize, believe, and do something about it. All of these are Actions! This is the secret of all the happiest and most influential people in the world—actions. Furthermore, do know that some of these tips do not work instantly most of the time. It requires a lot of time, motivation, consistency, and effort. I do know it's easier said than done. Take each of them slowly, one step at a time.

"Why it's okay not to be okay"

Life is a roller-coaster ride. Sometimes, we're on the lowest point where we can take this as an opportunity to brace ourselves for the most fun part of the ride. At times, we're on the highest point where we feel overwhelmed because it seems like we are able to do whatever we can at that particular moment---as if we've conquered the world. But we also get worried about what might happen once we feel that we're slowly going back to the ground again. It is inevitable for us humans to experience this kind of ride in our life because it makes the journey much more real, fun, and memorable. So today, we're going to talk about the reasons why it's okay not to be okay.

First, it makes us feel what we have not felt yet. And makes us remember that kind of feeling. Does that make any sense yet? For instance, if you are the type of person who always tops the class or gets good grades, and then one day you got a failing mark or lower than the usual, you might suddenly feel uncomfortable just like how you constantly think of the whys: Why did I get a low score? Why didn't I get the score I wanted? Why did this thing happen? But guess what? That experience is actually a good thing because we can learn something from it and we will be able to experience what it feels like to get a low score. Stated otherwise, how it feels like to fail. Yes, at first we will be uncomfortable with that kind of feeling but once we encounter that kind of situation again, we will be able to say "Nah. That's nothing, I have already experienced that kind of situation already." And you'll be surprised that you're not that kind of girl/guy who feel depressed because of getting a low score.

Second, being not okay makes us reminisce the good times. These lines from the song Let Her Go by Passenger are nearly relatable to the second reason. "Only know you've been high when you're feeling low Only hate the road when you're missing home Only know you love her when you let her go" Isn't it a beautiful message? So, if you're probably depressed, take that time for you to relive the past moments you have; but of course, don't let that sadness take too much of your time and find someone whom you can talk to relieve that feeling.

Third, being not okay let us know who are the people who will be there during our tough times. Those are the best times to know who are the good ones and otherwise. So take that opportunity to know who belongs to this and that. This is also the time where we can learn something from different walks of life and put that into mind.

Fourth, it makes us appreciate and love more the life we have and the people around us (yes, even our enemies). Being in this part of our life of being not okay is one of actually the best part of our life because we will be able to realize how important the people around us are and know their significance in our life. Those who doesn't just care for us or pay attention whatever happens in our life are the people who are also important because they will also give us meaningful lesson that we truly cannot please everyone.

Fifth, being not okay for a while actually makes us become a stronger person.

As said in the Bible verse from Joshua 1:9: "Be strong and courageous; do not be frightened or dismayed, for the Lord, your God is with you wherever you go." Remember that when you're in a hard time, God is actually making a strong foundation for a new chapter in your life and that He has always a plan for you. So don't lose hope and continue reaching your goals in life!

Hi. These are just my thoughts that I put into words during this quarantine. I also miss the beach so much so I'm attaching the photo I took during my last beach trip. Thanks and stay safe! ???? ----

Lately, it has been a roller coaster ride of emotions. You were happy and then you just found yourself feeling empty and lost the next day. Sometimes, it occurs all at once. All the aversion and the doubts, the frustration, the feeling of not feeling anything but sadness. It's all gonna drown you. And it's not gonna be easy. You're gonna question all that you're doing- if in any case, you're achieving anything or if you're succeeding with the path that you take. You wonder if you're now heading to the right direction or still lost and wandering. We all fight these kind of thoughts and struggles.

In life, you can never be happy and content at all times. All the broken pieces will remain to be broken. You're still gonna breakdown at some point; you're still gonna cry. But don't be hopeless. Even though life is throwing you with so many reasons to give up, please fight. Don't be hopeless. I'm gonna agree with you, if you'll say "it's not easy" But none of the things that are worthwhile in life is ever easy.

I wish you well.

, Marj