more articles about: love

Sweet Karma by April Anne Nemenzo

Thinking ‘bout the days I feel so lonely and not okay. Then you came unexpectedly. Happiness comes out genuinely, for you are here already. The wind blows and I was carried away towards you. I’m a bitch, you are tender and sweet. It was dark but you gave the light. So many stars yet you’re the only one shining in my eyes. It was a dark afternoon when I heard a beep on my phone. You’re just nobody, I gave a little bit of my attention to you. It started in a simple word. Ignore you afterwards. Until I don’t have time for you anymore, cause I know there’s a lot more. I started ignoring the fact that you were there, I accepted a lot more boys. I don’t really care about you...but you change my heart.

Boys are everywhere, I know. Boys promise they won’t leave you at first, but believe me that was just in the start. As I always say “I won’t believe any of this boys anymore, they’re just ruining my mood”. I don’t believe in attachment. I don’t care about commitment. I fucking care only about my self after a while of realizing I don’t need anyone. Let them be my pass time. Let me hurt them, too. Just the way they squeeze my heart till it tears apart. Not until you came, your warmth give me hope. My cold heart can’t ignore that I like you being around anymore. You tried to get my attention again, you said “hello” and I said “hi” but we don’t really care what we’re going to talk about. You consistently talk to me for days, until I came to realize “this is not me anymore”. Instead of being my pass time, you became part of my life cycle. You made me feel that someone’s going to care about me. Someone is waiting for me. Someone will be there to hold me. I gave you a hard time understanding my personality but you never give up, showing not the same way like the other boys would handle me. All I know is I’m in pain and I’m alone, but you were at my back this time.

When I’m about to fall you catch me and let me stand. Believing that everything’s possible. You never let me down even at my hardest time. I tried to push you away, but never in your chance you showed me I wasn’t enough. You never promised, and that’s the thing I started to love about you. I don’t believe in promises, too. You were my second chance. I’m hopelessly lost. I’ve been bad. I treat people badly because I thought they deserve those since they didn’t care about how I feel. They deceived me, too. They let me feel I was the only one that they care about and they love to share their moments with me- but actually I’m just being fooled. They just played with my feelings. So I learned and play along. In times of my loneliness you held my hand. You make me happy, that was a big change in my mood. You showed me the real you, but I’m afraid you’ll know me deeper. But I give you my trust and so as you to me. I can’t imagine now without you at my side. You healed my heart in the shortest time. I’m not a showy person but you never forced me to do things I’m not. Instead, you remind me that there’s still a chance, a hope and plan to fulfill (together with you). You’re not the same as them. They are boys and you’re a man. I know you were sent by God. He sends me my sweet karma.

Writing this made me remember a lot of things in high school. Crushes, first love, and even unrequited love. I'm still thankful for thosw moments because it made me who I am today. But still though, this quote hurts...

“I CAN’T LOSE YOU” …are words I deem more romantic than "I love you."

By: MELRAE SHANICE GUARIN

How does it feel to be in love? That I cannot answer. But I have convinced myself countless times that falling in love is one hell of a feeling. It is a feeling that draws a person to do things that that one has never imagined doing. When I was a teenager, I’ve always believed that love is all rainbows, butterflies, and unicorns. I blame watching too many movies on that. It made me set my standards way too high. Too high I feel like I’m going to end up a spinster. I used to have an ideal type and it changes from time to time. I think there was a point when it actually became an amalgam of traits that I got from every leading man in movies. Well, I’m not saying it’s completely wrong but it did make me expect too much in real life and we know what happens when we expect too much, right? D i s a p p o i n t m e n t. I just settled with the idea that I won’t have any ideal type and I’ll just wing it.

When I meet the right one, I will be just whoa, it’s him! No ideal types, just sparks and glitters. My views about love just shifted into different ways when I got older. Once, I was this young girl who fantasizes about an ideal guy, a prince charming, a knight in shining armor, a perfect leading man. But life is definitely not like the movies and experience will always slap you with reality. You’ll go through that stage where all those rainbows, butterflies, and unicorns all become nothing but a fantasy. The young girl the I was got slowly consumed by cynicism. It usually happens when you get invested in feelings and in expectations that you desperately wanted to happen. I often deny that I have become a cynic but when you get to see so many relationships get broken and fail right before your eyes, it just turns you into one. It doesn’t really have to happen to you first hand but when you witness it, even from afar, a part of you still breaks. Imagine having to experience it yourself, I would be doomed. Talking about the heavy side of love can go on for ages. But I still believe that

LOVE IS BEAUTIFUL. In so many ways. It may not always feel like you are walking on the clouds but day by day, it is proven to me that love can really make you do things you never thought you could. When they say that love conquers it all, I say, yes, it does. Come what may, love conquers it all. But here’s the thing – I change my mind about so many I things when it comes to love but I am certain that love is so powerful that it makes you want to change for the better. Some people find it hard to express and profess their love for someone. Saying “I love you” can seem as if it’s easy to say. It’s just three words, how hard could that be? But uttering the words “I love you” can be really difficult for some and believing in those three words can be more difficult to do when you’ve been through a great deal of pain before. It’s not easy as pie. Say it when it is real. Say it when you really mean it. Say it when you really do. “I love you” can be the most romantic, the best, and the ultimate words to tell someone you really love them. But this fantasist-turned-cynic has viewed love as some sort of a paradox. I have been into a rollercoaster of emotions myself and that includes going through a painful stage in my life that I thought was unbearable.

Love is a paradox. How so? Love, for me, is real when you have developed some kind of fear adjacent to it. Love and fear, so contradicting yet a strong combination. That fear may sound horrible but that fear drives you to do the impossible. Even saying the words “I love you” becomes easier for you. What do I believe now? This paradox that will constantly drive you insane, that will lurk within you for so long, that will bother and confuse you, is the very reason that will make you see your worth and your value. Love will make you feel fear. What is mine? Fear of losing someone I really cherish. If I lose that person, I'll be damned and I’m scared that it will break me in ways beyond repair. This is why I came to believe that when someone tells me “I CAN’T LOSE YOU,” it would make me feel the kind of love that I’ve been looking for. It makes me feel so loved and it makes me want to conquer it all. Saying it to me will definitely sweep me off my feet as Prince Charming does, will make me feel protected like a knight in shining armor, will strum my heartstrings like any leading man in the movies, and will make everything feel ideal once again.

It can be different for everyone. Some consider “I love you” as the most romantic sentence there is but kids these days, they blurt those words out like “hey, what’s up?” So easily, it feels meaningless. I wouldn’t want that. There are several romantic words out there. I’ve asked one of my friends and she said that she would want to hear “I choose you and I will choose you every day because you’re worth it.” Sweet, indeed! It may sound cheesy and mushy but all I pray is that when you tell anyone those words, just like how “I love you” works – say it when it is real, say it when you mean it, and say it when you really do.

Who brought me here? My family is my source of inspiration because they give me strength, support, and unfathomable love. They inspire me to do and be better, to go out in the open and show my true colors, to continuously follow my dreams, and to keep myself close to God. Since I was luckily brought up to a prayerful family, I am quite thankful and faithful to the lord for giving me such a wonderful blessing. No matter how much I struggle at some point in life, I still believe in God that is He challenging me to be stronger as well as my family who encourages me to be optimistic amidst my shortcomings.

Needless to say, without my family, I wouldn’t have become the person I am right now — driven, grateful, strong, and animated. The things I was able to do were, I made my family proud by being an outstanding student since the first grade, joined worthwhile activites in school such as writing and creating digital posters, transformed into a better version of myself, and put into reality the values that my family has taught me. Moreover, I will be able to continue making them proud since they see me happily pursuing my dreams, to graduate as my desired profession sooner or later, to learn more from the mistakes I make in the past, and to accept my fate when I grow older. With that being said, I know that my family will guide me to the right path no matter what.