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The year is 2020 and our life goals have literally been thrown out the window.
The year is 2020 and there’s now a meme for every feeling you can’t describe through words. Like this new one that perfectly captures what our 2020 plans look like. If you haven’t watched Parasite yet, this one might be a total ...
Yobhelle Escaño May 13, 2020

Talking to Yourself Through Writing

by: Yobhelle T. Escaño

How long has it been since I’ve last sat down and ACTUALLY talked to myself? I often do, usually unconsciously. “You forgot to do the dishes again, now mom’s mad.”, or “Do your requirements!” But this time, I truly, am talking to myself again. I usually express this through writing. I talk to myself through writing words on a screen, and I truly adore writing.

Writing can be seen as an expression of ideas, but to me, the process of writing, the choosing—handpicking of words to express what I want to convey, is just fascinating. It’s not really just speaking in your head, to me. It feels like a full on conversation, but not really. Words cannot express just how writing gives me a sort of calmness. Though, I do not feel like my writing is anything special, and I’d argue it’s rather mediocre, I still choose to do it, since I truly do love the process of writing. Whether it be spontaneous, or planned, just the act of writing to me is wondrous and beautiful.

I wrote when I was a younger. It was those small stories I conjured up when I was still a child. They were fun experiences, I recall often, but I never actually read what I wrote before. I imagine they are incredibly and utterly horrible. “Cringe”, as the cool kids call it now. Now, writing is just something I do for work. I associate it with late nights,the projects, and the scores.

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It has become a pain to write. It’s less me calming down, talking to myself and processing my thoughts into words. It’s become as if all the words are not of my own. I’ve lost my autonomy on writing, and it has lost its flair. As humans, we tend to loose interest quite easily. Usually we burn out slowly. Once, one thing you loved has become nothing to you, and suddenly everything seems pointless. Nothing is worth doing. We consume and consume, until nothing is left. It’s happened to me, and maybe it has even happened to you. Then, as I sit in my living room, stuck in quarantine, at 4 in the morning trying to grind up the next article for my online class, I stumbled upon an old file in my hard drive called “Yin’s Chapters”.

Yin Lee is an old character I created. The name is a portmanteau of the first letter of my name with a (former) favorite video game character of mine. The file contained stories of this character’s encounters with several characters who once influenced my life so much that I write about them. As I reread these stories, written when I was a geeky 15-year-old fangirl, I realize how much soul I’ve lost in writing and in anything I do really. I realize how much I’ve grown older, and given up on things I once held importance to. It’s funny to think about actually, because you know they’re “cringey af” (again, as the cool kids call it nowadays), but you have this feeling of yearning for those times.

Back then, Yin WAS me in my head, and writing these stories made me feel like I was having those adventures myself. So, even though I have several other more important things to do, I’ve suddenly decided to write this, trying to know what it feels like to talk to myself again. To actually, really, think about what I want to say next in this conversation in the form of an article, it makes me want to know what it feels like to love writing for myself again. And you know, what? It feels awesome.

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Here's a month-by-month list with things to tick off throughout the year!
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What is your secret ambition in life?
monday"To be a great actor someday."JR, 18tuesday"To be a famous model." Mikael, 23tuesdaywednesday"To work for a big time sports franchise like the Lakers." Sushi, 16wednesdaythursday"To be the future president of the Philippines." John, 18thursdayfriday"My secret ambition is.. SECRET!"Ryan, 19 friday ...
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To the Person Who Does Not Know Any 1D Song

By: CJ Reyno

Never in my wildest dream I imagined to meet someone who does not know a single One Direction song or who does not even know, Harry Styles, Louis Tomlinson, Liam Payne, Niall Horan, and err… Zayn Malik. How did you spend your teenagehood without listening to their songs? The disrespect to my #StyPayHorLikSon. My initial reaction, Vas Happenin’?

Since I was 12 years old, that was way back on 2012, One Direction songs have been my official life soundtrip, my go-to songs whenever I feel happy, sad, mad, excited, and etch. I can still remember how people went crazy just to attend their concert here in the Philippines. I must admit, I was one of those. LOL. The group was also dubbed as, “The Biggest Boyband in the World”. They were an era. You really left me in awe when you told me that you do not know a single One Direction song. Their songs are gold. But I was a little hopeful when a new messaged popped up on our conversation, “Hey I know one, Make You Beautiful”.

You do not know how my world collapsed after reading your message. I would like to say that I appreciate the effort, thanks, but they do not have a song entitled, Make You Beautiful, because it is, What Makes You Beautiful. I tried to explain but you said that they are just the same. (Tip: Never fight with a Directioner when it comes to this because we will not let our guards down). No! They are not the same. How can you make this big mistake? LOL. What Makes You Beautiful is One Direction’s debut song. Almost everyone knows this, “you’re insecure, don’t know what for,” ring a bell? The music video of this surpassed 1 billion views on Youtube. On my 21 years of existence, you are the very first person who told me this “I-Thought-It-Was-A-Joke-But-You-Are-Serious” statement.

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As a persuasive fangirl, I thought to myself that I should make you appreciate their music, that you should know that it is What Makes You Beautiful, not Make You Beautiful. The group may be in hiatus but their music is and will always remain superior. You are hard-headed lad. We even when to the point where you challenged me to treat so I can make you watch their music video. Am I even surprised that I agreed to this? HAHA. I feel like an agent trying to persuade her customer to buy a property on our company. You do not know how happy I was when you sent me your video listening to What Makes You Beautiful. I felt like I successfully closed a deal with my client. Not to exaggerate but I really jumped because of happiness after watching your video. It was the first message I checked that morning. Thank you for your effort, so much appreciated. Funny how our conversation starts with your innocence on One Direction until it goes deeper and last longer. Up All Nigh conversations which turned to almost Midnight Memories. Ironic how a Directioner had developed an admiration on someone who dislikes her favorite boys? Just like One Direction’s song, Change My Mind, “Never felt like this before. Are we friends or are we more?” I guess, like Liam’s line on Love You Goodbye, “It's inevitable everything that's good comes to an end. It's impossible to know if after this we can still be friends.”

I was happy that I made you listen to One Direction. At least I made you appreciate and made you aware that there is a song called, What Makes You Beautiful, not Make You Beautiful. I am happy that you already found your Girl Almighty. Wish me luck on finding my Summer Love. xoxo, Your Directioner friend

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