THE RABBIT IN THE HAT
at some point something must have come from nothing
Have you every asked yourself who you are? Now I’m asking you, “who are you?”. I know that it is a difficult question. Well I’m here to help you , so fasten your seatbelt because I’m taking you to a long trip! All of us have hobbies. Some people collect old coins or stamps, some do needlework, others spend most of their time watching their favorite movie or do a particular sports. Some people love reading, but reading taste differ widely. And there are questions that somewhat interest us, they are precisely the questions that tickle our minds and hunt our curiosity. If I’m going to ask you, what is the most important thing in life? Most of us will answer food, some will answer shelter and some will answer probably the company of other people. But what if, when these basic needs have been satisfied will there still be something that everybody needs?
It is like asking yourself, “who am I?” we always search and dig deeper within ourselves about who we are and ended up answering what we see physically or what others says about you. We answer what satisfies the question, not us. And upon answering it, the next question is, are we satisfied about it? Are we completely, a hundred percent sure about it? Does it reflects of who you are? The best way to explore of who you really are, is to ask yourself a questions. Any random question what you like will do and try to list it down and just like map, try to connect the dots. And finding yourself is like watching a magic trick. We cannot understand how it is done, so we ask how can the magician change a couple of silk into a rabbit? It is hard for us to believe as when the magician pulls a rabbit out of the hat which has be shown empty.
In case of the rabbit we all know that the magician tricked us. What we would really like to know is how he did it. But when it comes in knowing who you are it’s somewhat different. We know that our skills and characteristics is not all sleight of hand and deception because we know that it takes a process of human development in order for us to build it, we’ve been through that. We are actually the rabbit, the only difference between us and the rabbit is that the rabbit does not know that it is part of the magic trick. Unlike us, we are aware. You just need to get out of that hat to see truly yourself, do not wait on someone to pull you out because it’s you who you’re finding for. It’s vast world out there, you just need to explore it. Maybe it is really hard to answer that question, but what truly matters is that you follow what you loved and see the little thing around you with beauty and appreciation. And start opening your eyes in order to see who you are. Close your eyes, take a deep breathe. Now, open your eyes. Tell me what you see?
It’s a Saturday morning the warmth of the sun is kissing my face. I immediately got out from my bed and opened the door happily. I was greeted by my relatives, so many familiar faces. All I can hear is the word “Happy Birthday Belle”. I am smiling from ear to ear. I saw my mom and she’s kind a hysterical. Looks like she can’t compose herself, I guess she wants to make everything to be perfect. I decided to go out to check the venue. The organizers and the caterers arrived already. Round and long tables were all over the place. Then it hit me if the organizers were here then my gowns are already here too. I am half jumping when I went to the organizer and asked them if my gowns are with them too. They made me wait in the extra room of our house which will be my make-up room. I am smiling, grinning like a crazy woman.
I saw three men approaching towards my direction every one of them is holding a gown I can’t help myself from staying in my place so I meet them half of the way and hold the first gown. I can now see a beautiful yellow off-shoulder corset ball gown. I can see from the cover that it has black details on it. I am sure that it will really give justice to the theme of my debut which is Beauty and the Beast. They asked me if I want to fit it so I did. Looking at the mirror caressing the soft fabric of this gown with my messy bun and bare face, grinning widely with my twinkling eyes I can’t believe that I am having my own party. They made me fit the second gown, it’s a pastel orange-pink deep v -neck backless gown it is beyond beautiful. The details, it has gold crystals all over the gown and it’s so heavy. The last gown it’s a breathtaking blue off shoulder gown it is not as glamorous as the first two gowns but for me, it’s the best of the three. After the fitting the gowns my grandmother arrived together with the other elders to begin the “luwalo”.
It’s six in the evening the visitors were arriving, the booming sounds of the music and the music of arriving cars is enveloping my ears. My make-up is done. The vanilla scent of the hairspray is soothing my nostrils my hair is simply curled and place on the right side of my shoulder. My brows were on fleek, my cheeks were tapped with a little bit of blush on, my lips are in cherry red color and I have this cute little tiara in my head. I can feel the bullet of sweats in my forehead together with my cold hands and cold feet.
Time check, it was 7:30 when I heard the emcee asking everyone to stand for the prayer. The familiar angelic voice of Sister Audrey enveloped my ears. I almost cried, my heart is swelling from too much happiness I couldn’t ask for more. Everyone is here with me to celebrate my special day. When the prayer is done I am surprised that they have prepared a little compilation of my videos and pictures since I was a baby, I can hear the roaring laughter of the crowd from my room.
The time has come, as I heard my name announced by the emcee the door opened I got out from my room and meet all their eyes. I walked gracefully until I reached my princess seat in front. I can hear the clicking and flashing sounds of the cameras, they made my parents deliver their message as they change my shoes as a sign that I am now moving forward to my next step in life. The first 18 started, the 18 Roses was composed by my cousins, Uncles and my 18th dance is my Dad. Seeing them again after so many years I couldn’t help but smile. My dad’s wearing a blue coat as the beast and me wearing the yellow gown. Yes, I am Belle and my Dad is my Beast.
As the other 18’s comes like a wave every one of them gives a heartwarming message some of them can’t stop their emotions, we cried and laugh, ah! good old times. After the emotional part of the program, the place is already alive together with the new vibe of booming sound of music. Everyone is having a great time dancing and singing along with the songs. I stopped and looked around. I am smiling while watching the people around me I closed my eyes and let their voices envelop my ears. I feel contentment. I feel at peace. I look up to the thousands of twinkling stars and whisper a Thank You Prayer to God our Father for this successful night.
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This is a drawing and a poem I’ve made for a summer love. Our time together was short-lived but the feelings were not.
On a platform we stand
Faces seen all in a blur
Relentless searching led by a spur
To find someone, to feel something
Aren’t we fools to waste away time?
To look for one man’s treasure
Somewhere as ephemeral, as fragile
As a bond built in crime
But aren’t we just like every weary heart?
Hoping for an oasis
In the midst of the desert
Wanting to quench our thirst
Aren’t we all like frosted windows
Of old and battered houses on winter?
Wishing for the sun to give us warmth
To melt the facade so we can show what the inside is made
Aren’t we maven pretenders?
A Casanova? A Temptress? Who made us this way?
A sly fox? A ruthless hunter?
Let down the walls, It’ll be okay
Rushed for a hug, now no hesitating
Engulfed by a sense of bliss or was it longing? Eyes wide-open,
Stepping on a quicksand I embraced the fall into the deep end
Gazed at you lying there unaware With you, found something rare I swear
Realization dawning as loud as a thunder
As the Beating of your heart put me into a deep slumber
Waking up from this reverie
Truth slapped me back to reality
Two worlds so different, now I see If only I could I’d be anything and anyone you need me to be I’m the ludicrous clown, you see
Thought if I ruin it first I’d be free
From the doubts brought by my own insecurity I was so wrong,
What a tragicomedy Brought by the month of April
We rushed the ticking of clock to May Hands interlocked
Weaved skin to skin on a rainy day But when June came to say hello, all went dark grey
What was once there ceases to exist Like the wilting of a flower
Once so beautiful, so full of life Now turned into dust by death’s kiss
Unbounded joy brought by your presence
Paralleled with the perennial ache of your absence Yearned for and offered seventh heaven
Now the heart weeps for evanescence
A mirage, to be the fair maiden The sorrow to find out I’d end up our own villain
But all’s well for you are but a distant dream Gamaliel, You are, I knew it from the very beginning .
Written by me, the one-shot story
Coffee is about a girl who used to cherish moments with someone in a cafe. Sometimes, a simple drink can leave an imprint on someone's mind. ____________________________________________
It's been a year since my boyfriend and I broke up. I love him and he loves me too but things just didn't worked the way it should be. Now I'm heading at the cafe where we started and ended. I have no choice but to go there after all it was made up of both happy and sad memories. But that's life , right? We can't be happy all the time. Challenges come and hearts can break. But it doesn't just end there.
"One signature coffee , please." I said as I ordered from the cashier.
"What size?" she asked.
"Small." I said.
Then she took my payment and I headed towards the seat near the window. A window seat.... for two. The cafe was surprisingly full tonight unlike the past few days.
Again, I have no choice but to sit on that window seat. It is where we sit often. It is our seat. Our place. There are a lot of couples at the cafe and wow I'm alone. There's a part of me which says you should be happy because he's not the only guy in this world. Another part of me says you're still hurt so don't pretend to be happy. The truth is , I am both happy and sad. I'm happy because we're both free and we can focus more in our careers. But I'm sad because I'm not the other half of his heart anymore. I'm sad because I let him go even though I still love him. I'm sad because I can't see him. I'm sad because I can't share this relaxing coffee shop where we can chill with the aromatic smell of the coffee.
"Small signature coffee?" the waitress said as she serves my coffee.
"Yes. Thank you." I said.
"Since you're a regular customer here, we would like to give you this item for free." the waitress said. She handed me a purple journal with the name of the cafe on it and a pen.
"Oh thanks." I said .
"Enjoy your coffee!" she said.
I took advantage of using the freebies from the cafe. A window seat is also a bonus in inspiring me to write something. While sipping my coffee my brain and my heart began to function smoothly.
And so I wrote: My coffee has been cold lately, I can't feel anything after taking a sip and there's no heat to leave a pain on my lips. And it was a relief. But then, I remember one thing about sipping a cold coffee instead of a hot one: cold coffee doesn't leave you any marks when you sipped it, just like a blunt feeling. But a hot coffee will leave you a remarkable pain from the heat which reminds you that you are alive to feel....
I closed the journal and stared at the window. He was the coffee. The hot coffee. No matter how our breakup hurt me, he left me a mark and a lesson to learn. A hot coffee can be a challenge too or an obstacle. They all made you feel that you are alive. That you can go on with your life. You can still stand up. Love taught me to move forward. He taught me to be stronger. He is love.
WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE A BROKE FANGIRL/FANBOY
One of the proudest things as a fan is the feeling that you are part of their growing fandom and stardom. From streaming their songs online, watching their music videos, TV guestings, collecting photocards, albums, lightsticks, attending to their concert and fan meetings surely, you're a fan! But there's a problem, MONEY.
It's really heartbreaking when you hear that members of your favorite band are coming and their concert is just around the corner but here you are thinking of how to sell one of your kidneys just to go to their concert (kidding).That no matter how much you try to save, it will never be enough for a ticket because you are only a student who has limited resources or if you're an adult, you have bills to pay. So joining a "team bahay" livestream is your last resort, but sometimes even those links don't work!
Of course if there's team bahay there's also "team airport/ team labas", fans who waits at the airport hoping to see their idols upon their arrival. How we wish we could also attend and be part of it, something like shouting their names, fanchants then cry out of happiness while waving their lightsticks or banners. What a concept isn't?
Hey, cheer up! being broke doesn't make you any less of a fan. Know that there are other ways to support and love them. For sure our idols have the same and equal love to us no matter what "team" we belong (team concert, team airport/labas and team bahay).Maybe for some people, they might think we are being overly dramatic without knowing that for us fans, their existence itself and music saved us and made us happy once in our lives. -Gwy June 16,2020