Choosing between dreams and practicality is never easy. My CETs season just ended with the release of the UPCAT results. Anxious as I logged on the website, I started to think about what would happen if I didn't pass UP. Ever since I was six years old, I fixated on the idea that I will become an iska, serving the country and studying at my dream school, which is UP. I strived and studied hard for the UPCAT, sacrificing a lot of things like hang-outs and gala weekends for reviews.
Throughout my CETs journey, I started seeing myself studying only in UP, and while there were no results yet, my friends and I already started planning our lives around the fact that we're gonna study in UP. It was a big deal for me, my friends and my family that I get the chance to study in UP since it's so far from my hometown which is Benguet, and better yet, it's a very well known university.
January 2020 came and universities started releasing CETs results. I was expecting my DCAT and ACET results that month. I passed DCAT but brushed it off because even though I liked the school, I never really saw myself studying there. Same thoughts with Ateneo, since it never really crossed my mind that I might study in ADMU. In fact, Ateneo was never really a choice for me, I only took it just to have another choice in case I failed the UPCAT. I also applied for financial aid not because I was really planning on studying there, but more of "para lang sure na may college ako". I know it's a bad thing but they were just my back-up schools because my main goal was really UP.
One Friday afternoon, ACET results came out. I passed, managed to get a scholarship, and in that moment, my plans just started to crumble.
Seeing that I got a 100% tuition and fees discount, free dorm fees, and an additional book allowance got me into considering studying to Ateneo. Suddenly, I got torn between UP, my dream school, and Ateneo, which offers so much more.
As the months passed, and after talking to my parents, my plans and decisions got more jumbled and messy. I still wanted to go to UP even if there were no results yet but Ateneo offering so much would mean a lesser burden to my parents in terms of finances.
Even though my parents told me that they'll support me no matter where I choose to go, the practicality that Ateneo offers in terms of finances was not an easy thing to waive. Sometimes I would laugh at the fact that I'd spend less on a private school than on a state university. Talking to my friends helped somehow, but they also have various opinions about the two universities. I managed to tell myself to hold off the problem until UPCAT results get released, and so I did.
UP released the UPCAT results and seeing that I passed made me scream and cry, literally. At that moment, all I was thinking was that I passed my dream school and I'm officially a QC college student.
My parents were so proud of me even though they got scared because I screamed, but ultimately, they were happy for me. The next day, I sat down, stared at my UPCAT and ACET results, and told myself that I needed to decide. This was the hardest part. I tried deciding using the pros and cons method but it didn't really work. Talking to my parents also didn't help because they'd support me either way, so their judgement was not a factor at all. I also had the same course in both schools so that wasn't a big help. I was 99% close to letting go of my dream university and decide to go to Ateneo.
I weighed options and Ateneo was the cheaper and more practical option. I also started to see myself studying as a blue eagle, roaming around the campus etc. And financially, I didn't need to worry much except for food. At that point, I started to really like the idea of going to Ateneo more than studying in UP. But then, as the weeks went by, the Ateneo Plan started to lose my interest.
I realized that studying in Ateneo would be a great opportunity, but not something that will really make me happy. The finances and all would be so much better but I wouldn't be happy and content, and I felt that Ateneo couldn't give me everything that I wanted and needed. Then a light bulb lit up.
As I was imagining myself at UP, I ultimately felt that happiness and content that I didn't feel with Ateneo. I realized that, if I didn't study in UP, I know later in my life, I would regret it. I would regret not choosing my dream university because I didn't choose what would make me happy.
In short, I chose my dream over practicality. I know that I would be successful in both tracks, but I simply chose my dream because it is where I'm happier and more content. Besides, we can make our dreams practical but not all the time can the practical choice equate to our dreams. So to those having a hard time choosing between dreams and practicality, weigh it out and always remember to put yourself and your happiness first. And of course, choose the choice that you know you'll not regret later on.
I started college with little to no support coming from my family. I can't blame them tho, life was pretty hard for us to afford college. I had to stand up on my own just to get by. Good thing I have a boyfriend who supports me all the way. But I can't let him shoulder it all, so, I had to accept sidelines just to finance my studies. It was fortunate of me to be blessed with talented hands to do crafts. And now, I'm so proud to say that I'll be graduating next year! So, let me share with you my works that helped me all through out my college journey.
This Quarantine has been a threat to my mental health since I had a lot of time to overthink things. This is surely a depressing time but I found my inner peace by writing. I found my way back into my first love, which is writing. And there I realized that this pandemic may seem worse but it will only get worser if you let it ruin your peace. With this, I wanna share to you my sanctuary.
Hi! It's been so long since I planned to post my story in another platform aside from wattpad and now here I am, hoping that my story can be featured here.
My story is entitle "Who Are You," it's a tagalog-english teen fiction story so I hope, those filipinos who visit here can read my story!
WHO ARE YOU: PRELUDE
Sinungaling na ba ako kung sasabihin ko sa inyo ang pangalan ko? Hindi ako sure kung anong sasabihin kong pangalan ko pero may nagsasabi sa aking wag nalang magpakilala sa inyo.
May gusto lang naman akong itanong... Paano kung may makilala ka sa kasalukuyan na nagpapaalala sayo sa nakaraan? Anong gagawin mo kung ang nakilala mo sa kasalukuyan ay may tinatago pa lang sikreto na kahit siya mismo ay walang alam pero may kinalaman sa iyong nakaraan? Anong gagawin mo kung ang dalawang ito ay may koneksyon? Anong pipiliin mo? Ang nakilala mo sa nakaraan? O ang nagpakilala bilang ibang tao sa kasalukuyan? Past? Or Present?