5 Tips on How to Ask for Permission When You Have Strict Parents

Negotiate with them or find a compromise.
by Jessica Tambunting   |  Jan 8, 2022
Image: Pexels, Shutterstock
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If you have strict parents, asking for permission to do anything is dreadful. Before you even get the courage to ask, you have probably weighed whether it is worth going through the hassle of asking them or not.

Unlike some of your friends, getting a yes or even just doing the act of asking for permission is more difficult than one would think. Some may say that you don’t need to seek permission from them anymore, but that may not be the case for you. 

To help you out, these are some tips that you can use the next time you ask for permission to do something you’d like to do:

1. Prepare the full details.

Don’t ask for permission when you are unprepared. As much as possible, have all the details ready. Remember the who, what, when, where, why, and how. For example, you want to start a small business. Before you go to your parents, these are some questions you might have to anticipate and be prepared to answer: what will you sell, why do you want to do it, how do you plan on balancing it with school, where do you plan to get the funds, how are you equipped to do this, and the likes. Being prepared is one step towards letting your parents know that they can trust you with whatever it is you want to do.


2. Be persistent but not pushy.

As stated earlier, you probably have weighed whether what you plan to do is worth it. Hence, you must show your parents how much you want to make it happen. Follow up on their decision, and ask if they have any other clarifications. Try not to be too pushy, however. Your parents might think that you are insinuating that they can’t say no to you, and that’s not what you want at all.

3. Ask in advance and be patient.

When you ask for permission, you need to set aside time for your parents to ponder whatever you have asked of them and reach a decision. For instance, if you asked for permission to hang out with your friends, make sure that it isn't too close to the scheduled date of the event. Your parents should have an ample amount of time to decide. Personally, one week in advance is safe, but it varies depending on the details!

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4. Negotiate with them or find a compromise.

Try to ~respectfully~ reason out and be open to changes in your original plan. For example, you're thinking of trying out a program to study abroad, but your parents do not want you to be away from home. They may argue that they can’t help you if something bad happens. Maybe both you and your parents could find a compromise wherein, for example, you stay with a relative abroad. This way, your parents can be assured that someone will be looking after you as you explore education-related opportunities overseas.

5. Find the perfect timing.

Like any other person, your parents also have good days and bad days. Gauge their mood first before approaching them. If they are coming from a long day of work and look like they're in need of rest before making important decisions, it is safe to postpone asking on another day. When you catch them in a more optimistic mood, it could be the best time to shoot your shot and seek permission. 


Although these tips do not guarantee that you will be allowed, we hope that these will help relieve some of the anxiety and stress you feel when asking for permission. You might feel jealous of your other friends who have ~chill~ parents that allow them to do almost anything they want. There's not much to be jealous about, however! Remember that your parents love you, and they would just want you to be safe and in a good place as you explore the world around you.


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Jessica Tambunting