The existence of social media has changed our lives in a million ways. Aside from enabling us to connect with one another in a single tap, they also allow us to keep our circle updated with what we've been doing recently. However, there are also disadvantages when we spend too much time on them. The result? Our relationships get affected and sometimes, in a really big way.
There have been a lot of studies already about how social media affects relationships and love lives. There was even a statement from New York-based therapist Ian Kerner wherein he suggested that it would be better to unfriend partners on Facebook. While we don't want you to take this drastic measure and start unfriending or unfollowing your baes ASAP, we want to look into the reasons why our relationships become unhealthy because of social media. Below, we've rounded up five reasons why it might be best to keep your relationships offline. Let us know your thoughts in the comments, because we love to hear from you.
1 The words he says become as important as his likes, posts, and comments on your posts.
Have you ever found yourself asking your partner why he never liked and commented on your posts? Or why he doesn't share photos of your relationship and dates? Have you had a fight that started with one of you innocently liking or commenting on a post made by your friends? If you've answered yes to any or all of these questions, maybe you've placed the same high value on what he tells you and his activity online.
We're not saying that there's no deeper reason on why he liked that photo or commented on that post, but what if there really isn't any? The fact that it got you into a fight and argument is a little alarming. There are really moments when you approve of a particular post just because you do, so why take that against the other person, right?
2 The things you see online are mostly distorted versions of the truth.
Our social media accounts act as a way for us to get creative with our representations of ourselves. Our posts, status messages, tweets, and all the things we share are just parts of ourselves, the best parts of ourselves—because who would want to put the bad things about themselves for everyone to see, right? But they're just that, a part of ourselves. There are even cases when people have different versions of themselves online, so they really shouldn't be a basis of what's true or not about your guy, your relationship, or even about other people. There's also one study from Brunel University in London which found that the more frequent someone posts about their partners online, the more insecure they are as they long for validation and attention that they are indeed doing well.
3 The more time you spend online, the less time you spend on your relationships.
Have you ever found yourself on a date with your guy and missing a few parts of the conversation because you're on your phone going through Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook? Then you could be a p-phubber—someone who snubs their partners because of being constantly on their phones. It's a bit sad that this is true, even for non-romantic relationships. We meet with someone whom we haven't seen for ages. Yet when the time comes, we stay on our phones and update our Feeds and Timelines with photos that we've reunited with them, that we're on a major catch up sesh. But where's the catching up in that when you're both on your phones, keeping yourself busy trying to figure out which filter works best for your photo?
According to an article from The Daily Mail, ignoring your partner because you're on your phone can "cause the person being ignored to become depressed and anxious in their relationship, and it can even impact other aspects of their life." The study found that the person's satisfaction in the relationship is greatly affected. And why wouldn't that be the case? How would you feel if you're with someone who's constantly on their phones every time you're out together? Don't we all deserver 100% of a person's time and attention especially when we've set a few hours of our time for them out of our schedules?
4 The expectations become a bit unrealistic.
The advent of social media has also allowed us to look into other couples' relationships. There are couples who are fine with sharing a lot of things online—snapshots of what happens in their lives on a daily basis, lengthy statuses involving what their partners have done for them that day, and even screencaps of their text messages. Grand gestures and proclamations of love have been done online, but there are also people who are still uncomfortable doing that themselves.
Sometimes, because these grand declarations of love are so rampant online, we also expect our own guys to do the same for us. But what if that's not the way they want to do it in the relationship? This causes tension, making the other person feel unloved while the other person also feels that what they're doing isn't enough. Besides, we all have a different way of showing another person our love, we all have different love languages.
5 There is always something beautiful about having most things just between the two of you.
While social media has allowed us to share snippets of our lives online, it is still a good practice to preserve a few things between you and your guy—like little secrets, private jokes that only the two of you know. Isn't it wonderful when you laugh at the same time because someone mentioned something and you drive all of them crazy because you both know what that meant to your relationship? Isn't it also nice when your family and friends take their time and message you in private to ask how your relationship with this guy has been? Admit it, there are just a few things that become more special, more priceless when they're kept in private boxes within your hearts.
While being constantly online has its advantages and disadvantages, the decision on what you can do about it as a single lady or as someone in a relationship rests on you entirely. We just all have to remember that anything and everything should be done and taken in moderation—our time online, included.
What do you think about this topic, Candy Girls and Boys? Let us talk in the comments. We always love hearing from you. :)