She. Won't. Stop. Talking. She'll start her discussion on Russian literature but veer of tangents so non-sequitur you'll want to do an Anna Karenina and throw yourself on the train tracks just to end the torture already. In an attempt to play nice, you studiously draw your notebook out and have your pen poised to take notes, but she says so much about everything other than what needs to be discussed that if you actually did take notes, you’ll have used up an entire Moleskine on her nonsense. Just. No.
The unsuspecting master of irrelevance
Possibly going through a mid-life crisis, this professor is hanging on so desperately to his perceived youth that he tries so hard to run with the in crowd. He fails, every time. His sentences are peppered with terms he gathers from random strip searches of Urban Dictionary. He brings up TV show characters three seasons too late and tries to fit Drake lyrics into his rhetoric. You kind of feel sorry for him so you stay in his class, but his desperation leaves you terrified about the real world and what it can do to you.
If you're making the leap from an exclusive, all-girls school into the freedom of a full-fledged university, you have probably been warned about this guy. Some professors take the academic power they wield way too far and try to lure students into lurid flirtation games. Trust your gut on these creepers, girls—or you could land yourself in serious trouble. Go straight to the authorities if your professor ever makes an impertinent pass at you.
The vanguard of all things politically incorrect
You step out into the real world and you know that bigots, racists, misogynists, war mongers are out there. When you come across a supposed authority figure whose worldview doesn't ring true with yours, that's one thing. But when he uses his class as a platform to make political speeches that leave you wreathing in anger, you know your time is probably better spent learning from someone else. Survey the upperclassmen for advice on this one—run in the other direction as soon as you see there's an opening for the same class under someone else.
The babbler's distant cousin, this professor may be keeping within the curriculum's framework and may be saying all things relevant. But unfortunately for her or him, you cannot understand a word she or he says. It could be that his Eastern European accent just doesn't translate into Physics, or that the classroom's pour acoustics is no match for her inability to enunciate and speak above 1 decibel. Whatever the case may be, there’s no way you’ll actually learn anything if every single thing coming out of this professor's mouth (or his or her Powerpoint presentation) is just plain incomprehensible.
Which teacher are you dreading this school year?