Ate Advice: It's My First Time Going Through a Breakup, How Do I Handle It?

A sisterly reminder to love yourself more than anyone else.
by Lea Briones   |  Jun 14, 2023
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Love can either be your happiness or your greatest pain. People can fall out of love and relationships can fall apart. It happens to everyone, including yours truly. Dealing with a breakup for the first time can feel like you’re spiraling into oblivion. But believe it or not, it’s not the end of the world for you. So, if you’re asking what’s next now that you’re single? Listen up, because your Ate is here to help you get back on your feet with your head held high.

READ MORE: 8 *Healing* K-Dramas to Watch if You're Going Through a Breakup

How Do I Handle My First Breakup?

Cry it all out. 

You don’t need to act brave and unemotional—you’re not Wednesday Addams! No one is going to judge you for crying because it’s common knowledge that being heartbroken hurts. It’s also part of being human. So let it all out, and let your tears fall. I promise you, you would feel a bit better afterward. This is just the start of your healing journey. 

Don’t stalk, just take a walk! 

You can hoard clothes or cute coffee mugs but never hoard painful memories. If it hurts seeing something, delete it or put it in the archive. As early as now, BLOCK YOUR EX! Block their friends as well if you need to. If it’s difficult for you to handle seeing anything about them, then do yourself a favor and avoid them. It won’t do you any good to keep tabs on themjust for that small chance of getting back with them. It’s not healthy!

List all the pros and cons of the breakup. 

If you’re still struggling to accept the breakup, it might help to list down all the pros and cons of the relationship. In this way, you could remember what led to the fallout. As a marupok girlie, I tend to look for excuses to stay out of my fear of being left behind. As a wake-up call, I opted to do this to formulate a rational decision of whether it was time to let go or not. This also allows you to realize what you truly deserve in a relationship and what you could improve in yourself. 


Do the things you weren’t able to do during your relationship.

Many of us don’t realize how being in a relationship hindered us from other things we’ve always wanted to do. If you used to spend most of your free time on dates, perhaps it’s time to catch up with your barkada. Try doing something your partner was never able to do with you like skydiving or going to museums by yourself. This is the best time for you to learn more about yourself by going out of your comfort zone. 

It’s time for a glow-up!

What better way to start your #single journey than a makeover? As a matter of fact, it’s common for people to cut or dye their hair after a breakup. This is because there’s a sense of ~renewal~ in changing your appearance. Apart from that, you deserve to feel beautiful after crying so much. Thus to regain that confidence and energy back, treat yourself by putting more love into your look. 

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Feel better by taking a breather. 

While dating apps can be tempting, it wouldn’t really be healthy for you to jump ahead to this step. Trust me, I’ve been there. I thought it would be a great revenge to show my ex that I’ve finally found another guy. But forcing myself into a new relationship just led me to more traumas. Take it from your Ate, and learn to value yourself more than anyone else. 

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Lea Briones
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