Ate Advice: How Do I Know If A Certain Guy *Actually* Likes Me?

Is it love or am I just being delulu?
by Lea Briones   |  Aug 5, 2023
Image: Pexels Art: Shannen Gardon
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Falling in love for the first time can be tricky. Most of the time you have to figure out if he’s actually making a move on you or if he’s just a kind gentleman doing the bare minimum. I’m no dating expert, but I have had my fair share of experiences when it comes to relationships and flirting. After years of trial and error (because men, am I right?), I have managed to list down some of the most accurate signs to tell if a guy is really interested.

If you want to know if it’s love or just ~delusions~, look out for these possible signs:

1. His body language shifts when you’re around.

Now, this depends on their love language, but most of the time they would show their feelings more through actions than words. Body language is some of the best ways to know if someone is interested. According to an article by Jack Schafer Ph.D. of Psychology Today, there are five nonverbal cues that people unconsciously or consciously do if they like someone. Among these are mutual eye contact, light touches, inward leaning, mirroring body positions, and removing any barriers. 


Observe how he is with his friends and acquaintances, then compare it to how he treats you. You could also ask your friends to observe from an outside point of view. It would definitely help you distinguish how different his body language is when he’s around someone he finds special. 

2. He will go out of his way just to spend time with you.

A guy once surprised me by going out of his way to go to Cubao with only less than P100 in his pocket. Stupidly impulsive, but the gesture was there. If he likes you, he will make excuses just to spend time with you because it’s an opportunity to get to know you. Doing this also means he likes your company and he’s comfortable being with you. 

Not to expose my fellow ladies out there, but this does not only apply to guys. I actually do this as well if I really like someone. If he’s walking home from school, I would rather endure that 20-minute long walk with him than pay P20 for a convenient ride on the tricycle. Talk about *priorities*.

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3. He will randomly give you compliments. 

Not a lot of guys are great at talking or making their feelings known. However, it’s easier to hint at their feelings by complimenting their love interest a lot. Of course, let’s not be ~delulu~ and immediately assume that every compliment means they’re flirting. You have to understand the difference between friendly affirmations and flirty genuine compliments. Notice how or when they start complimenting. An interested guy would always go out of his way to make you feel better by expressing his sincere compliments to you.

4. He asks your friends about your interests. 

A great way to know more about a person is through their friends. If he suddenly takes an interest in befriending your close buddies, there’s a chance that he’s trying to get more information about you such as your likes and dislikes. In my experience, I used to date a guy that asked my friends for my Christmas wishlist. It was his way of ensuring that he gets me what I really wanted. 


5. He is willing to try new things just to impress you. 

Once he knows your interests, he would then try to know more about them. If you’re a fan of Game of Thrones, he would suddenly catch up on the series just to have something to talk with you. Furthermore, if you like a certain kind of music, he would take an interest in it as well. This is a guy’s way of knowing more about your personality and how you see the world. It’s also their way to match your energy and put themselves within your peripheral vision.

6. He remembers the little things!

Let’s be real, men have shorter attention spans than women, LOL! So if a guy really pays attention to everything you’re saying and remembers even the littlest details, then he’s a keeper. He deserves a gold star. 

We, women, want a partner that would initiate without asking them to do anything. If he truly listens to you, he would buy you the cookies that you mentioned you’ve been craving. He would hold your hands if you get triggered because he remembers that you’ve suffered from trauma. He would take note of your favorite ice cream flavor because eating ice cream helps you recover from your bad days. Men who are truly in love will make the effort to remember how to make you feel safe and loved.


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Lea Briones