For the third year in a row, you've been dragged in your family's trip to Magic Kingdom. The only thing worst than standing in line for 90 minutes to ride the Pirates of Caribbean is knowing that at the same time, your boyfriend will be at his ex-girlfriend's fourth of July BBQ. You
Trust in him not to do anything foolish while you're gone. It's not like you're going to be hooking up with some guy in Fantasyland.
Send him a Polaroid of you and Goofy standing in front of the It's A Small World ride with a note that says NOTHING COMAPARES TO YOU.
Spend one miserable week in the "happiest place on earth" imagining your boyfriend's ex grilling the perfect burger.
You're at a friend's house, playing Nintendo with her brother. He's cute but you ended up beating him at Zelda three games to one. When he looks at you say
"How about a rematch?"
"You'll have to try harder than if you want to beat me."
"I'm usually not this good at video games; I guess I just got lucky."
Buster, your hand-me-down Honda, is behaving badly. Sometimes it doesn't start, and when it does, it sort of sputters down the road instead of cruising. You know this probably means
c) You should save the money you'd be spending on gas for a bus pass for the rest of the summer.
You'll have to ask your dad if you can borrow his car so that he can take yours to the mechanic.
Something is wrong with the carburetor, the fuel filter or the distributor cap.
It's another slow day at the beach (read: no guys in sight). Suddenly two well-toned vacationers from Australia came up and ask if you and your friends want to play beach volleyball. In your head, you start calculating: You plus a volleyball equals unintended hilarity. You
Jump right in—you you're no Gabrielle Reece, but those Aussies look pretty easy to beat.
Cheer your friends on from the sidelines—you don't want the boys thinking that Filipinos are uncoordinated.
Sit the first few points out, then decide to play—you're much better at the S-sports (softball and surfing), but maybe your skills will transfer.
Your brother is driving you and your cousin to the public pool when a woman in a minivan cuts him off. He honks the horn and screams, "Women drivers!" You
Unleash your own brand of road rage by telling him off and asking if he has other caveman insights he'd like to share.
Say nothing, but later that day you run through an entire list of clever comebacks.
Inform him that, actually, the most recent statistics show that male drivers account for 60.8 percent of all police reported crashes, according to the Department of Transportation.
The director of the summer theater program is no joke. She critiques your recitation of a Shakespearean monologue by saying "Well, you're certainly no Gwyneth Paltrow." Once you get over the humiliation, you
Drop theatre and sign up to intro to Macramé instead.
Get up the nerve to ask Cruella the Drama Teacher what you can do to improve.
Confront your teacher after class and explain that's it's unfair to expect Oscar caliber work from a beginner.
As you're leaving La Parfumerie in the mall, the salesman falsely accuses you of slipping a bottle of Chanel No. 5 into your bag. Mon dieu! He insists on searching your purse. You
Have nothing to hide, so you give him your purse and your shopping bag, then jot down everyone's name and title for the scathing letter you're going to write to the company that owns the store.
Demand to speak to the manager, and inform her that your mother is a lawyer (she isn't but, who cares) and when she hears about this teen discrimination…
Hand it over, no questions asked.
You've landed a summer job at Halley's Comics. For your first assignment, your boss asks you to set up a new window display that would attract more customers. You
Make a life-size, 3D Wonder Woman snatching Superman and The Hulk from the jaws of death with her magic lasso.
Come up with an X-Files comic salute, featuring agent Dana Scully kicking major alien butt.
Create a montage depicting Betty and Veronica's greatest brawls over Archie.
The most empowering thing you've done in you recent memory is
Open a stubborn jar of peanut butter that your brother couldn't—even he ran it under hot water.
Read the entire Sunday paper from news to sports to entertainment.
Get your hair to look exactly the way it did when the hairdresser styled it for prom.
Sneak in an hour past curfew, undetected.
Strike up a conversation with a guy, like the cutie who part-times at the local burger-and-fries joint.
Take a Tae-Bo class.
ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW
From The Candy Bulletin Community
