Guys

This Is the Worst Kind of Breakup and You Know It

And science agrees with you.
IMAGE Unsplash

Unless you've never had a boyfriend before, you can probably attest that there are different types of breakups; there are ones you spend weeks, months, or even years mourning and there are those you get over after a ton of junk food and a great movie marathon. 

When you think about your past relationships, which one stung the most? If the one that comes to mind is when your asshole ex left you for another girl (or guy, hey it happens), it totally makes sense. 

A study from Cornell University found that this type of rejection hurts the most; it even hurts more than just being rejected period. The researchers conducted four experiments on 600 participants.

In one experiment, men were assigned to a group with two women who were secretly working with the researchers. One woman was given a puzzle to solve and she had to pick one more person to help her. Sometimes she chose the other woman and sometimes she chose to work alone. The other three experiments were all about working in a larger group involving rejection scenarios. 

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The authors of the study found that in every experiment, it hurt more to be rejected over someone else: "This may be because such rejections lead to an increased sense of exclusion and decreased belonging."

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And those who were rejected needed to know why. They felt better when they found out it wasn't because of someone else; otherwise, it would have been a "double rejection." This is probably why when a couple is breaking up, one of the first few questions asked is, "Is there someone else?" 

Source: TIME

This story originally appeared on Cosmo.ph.

* Minor edits have been made by the Candymag.com editors.

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Eren Rodriguez 14 hours ago

They say time heals all wounds, but it has been ages - is heartbreak exempted?

I have forgotten when was the last time we shared a smile - the last time when I saw the glow in your eyes and the last time when you whispered an I love you to me. I have forgotten when, but here I am - writing to you again.

I do not know if you will read this or you will just add this one to my proses and poems that you left unread, but you see, I am still hoping. I am mailing the pain of us to the gods out there - hoping they can take the pain away. I should have gotten over you, but instead of forgetting and accepting our ending, I am writing about us in tissue sheets, carving about us on trees, telling about us on the back of my journals, hoping that a thousand or a million write ups about us, can make me forget about what happened.

I am writing, waiting for the point where I can no longer write anymore, for I have none to tell - but when? I have nothing in me anymore, but the memories of us - and no matter how hard I try put those to its own grave, the memories grow back like lilies in the swamp - painful and beautiful at the same time.

No matter how hard I try to silence those and put it at the back of my mind, those ring back, playing like the favorite song we used to listen. They say heartbreaks turn into poetry and that is what happening to us - but poetry should be dulcet and dreamy, why does ours sound like pain and agony? They say time heals all wounds, but it has been ages - is heartbreak exempted? Darling, I guess not.

Anne Luna 17 hours ago
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