Why It's Okay That You Never Had Your First Kiss Yet

Don't panic!
by Julianne Suazo   |  May 28, 2016
Image: 20th Century Fox ART Steph Yapnayon
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When you have yet to lock lips with someone else, it is almost too easy to feel like a total Jessie Geller. A classic film for all girls who have never had their first kiss yet, Never Been Kissed shows us why you shouldn't have to feel like you have to rush things. I know it may seem like you're going to have to wait forever until it happens but love comes when you least expect it to, and in the most unconventional way.

And while you wait until you turn 25, become an undercover reporter in your old high school, and fall in love with your incredibly attractive English teacher, here are a few reasons on why it is absolutely okay that you haven't had your first kiss yet:

1. You never forget your first kiss.

It's true what people say—you never forget the story of your first kiss. Whether it's incredibly embarrassing or over-the-top romantic, they can easily recall every detail. Whether it happened when you were 15 or when you were 25, it's almost impossible to forget which is why you shouldn't feel any pressure to fast track your love life. It's probably going to be a story you tell your children, or your grandchildren so you might as well make it a good one!


Wouldn't you rather talk about your first kiss as something that happened with the right person, and at the right time rather than as something you're embarrassed about because you regret it

2. It's actually not that big of a deal.

I bet people have countlessly given you that patronizing aww or the shocked "are you serious?" when you reveal that you've never actually had your first kiss. I don't get why at such a young age, people are already shamed and teased as lonely and unwanted just because they haven't had their first kiss. Sure, it really is an important milestone in your life, but people oversell it way too much. 

Society has a nasty way of making you feel like a loser if you have never kissed someone yet, or tricking you into believing that if you're alone now, you'll be alone forever.

It isn't always going to happen the way you want it to. Truth is, first kisses don't really happen the way it happens in the movies you watch or in the books you read, but that doesn't mean you should force it to happen whenever and wherever.

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3. Waiting for the right one beats rushing it.

Your love life was never a race to begin with. You shouldn't feel like you're competing with every person in your barkada to see who gets their first kiss first. Some of my friends even tell me that they regret not waiting—that their first kiss was nothing but awkward and uncomfortable because they forced it to happen. They say that they just "wanted to get it over with" but regretted it immediately because they knew they couldn't just have a do-over. Your first is your first, whether it happened the way you imagined it to or not.

People rush because society pressures them too much. I believe that there's only reason why you haven't had your first kiss yet, and that's because it wasn’t meant to happen yet. It'll happen when it is meant to happen, in the right place, in the right time and with the right person.

4. There's more to you than your relationship.

Your love life doesn't define you, and it never will. Relationships are meant to make you better. The people who are happy in their relationships are also the ones who are happy when they're single. Why? Because they know that the secret to being happy with someone else is being capable of being happy on their own. Be your own person and know who you are outside of a relationship. You shouldn't feel like you're in search of a missing piece to complete you because you should feel like you're already whole on your own.


Don't rush into something that doesn't feel right. Just because your first kiss hasn't happened doesn't mean it never will. Work on yourself first, and love will come eventually.

5. You're not alone.

I know you may feel like you're the last person on the planet who has never kissed someone but you're not. Even though society has tricked you into thinking that you're the minority, part of that society are probably the minority too. I have known people who shame unkissed lips when theirs remain untouched too so don't be fooled. It's because we have grown into a culture where we do not want to identify with the side who society views as unexperienced, lame, or weird. What's so weird about not having your first kiss yet? There are other people out there who know that their first kiss is something they shouldn't rush because it really is something special. Let your life take its course and surprise you with love.

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About the author
Julianne Suazo
Candymag.com Correspondent
What makes me a certified Candy girl is my desire and eagerness to present myself as me, but better.
"Parang iniisip ng mga tao na mataray ako, suplado, but actually may nafi-feel kasi ako sa umaga na bigat."