Guys
What Happens When You Get Caught By Your Crush
Ever get caught crushing on your crush—by your crush? Lagot!
illustration by Mikke Gallardo

Crushed-Out Scene 1: Text Text Boom!

It’s worse than getting caught sniffing your underarms in public. In fact, you’d rather get caught smelling your pits than obviously crushing on someone. The milliseconds you endure watching your crush’s face go from blank stare to mild confusion to eventual hey-you-like-me-pala-ha-wink-wink enlightenment stretches out into mock infinity, and everything goes into slo-mo hell. 

 

So how do you untangle yourself from a truly embarrassing moment such as this? We’ve prepared a cheat sheet on how to deal with the most common caught-crushing-on-your-crush moments. Read it, learn it. In fact, as soon as you’ve committed it to memory, tear up this page, chew it, and swallow. Just kidding. Well, sort of.

 

You accidentally sent a text about your crush, to your crush. Although you pride yourself on owning a lightning-fast thumb capable of tapping out 90 words a minute, no amount of  hyperbolic speed can undo a fatal SEND—like sending a text about your crush, to your crush.

 

Let’s say you were about to text your friend the following message:

 

Pao lukd rily kyut n his sk8ter shirt 2day! Kilig!

 

But because your head was in the clouds while your thumb was putting a windshield wiper to shame with its nonstop auto-pilot texting, you accidentally sent it to Pao, your hottie crush, instead. What do you do?

 

First, don’t throw your phone across the room and wail “Noooooooooooooo, gad, nooooooooo!” You will only get your mom mad, and your tushie in trouble. Save the theatrics for the other scenarios, kiddo. What you do instead is take a deep breath, and get your thumb tapping overtime. Send the following text to Paolo immediately:

 

Did u get my txt? ;-) Ds grl sent it 2 me. Uuuuy, I know sum1 hu lyks u! ;-)

 

Now, you’ve turned the situation where you’ve become someone who knows someone who has a crush on Pao. Technically, you aren’t lying: you do know someone who has a crush on him. What he doesn’t know is that that someone is you. And for the sake of pride and sanity, you will never let him think otherwise.

 

If your crush asks who that mystery crusher is, continue the ploy and say you’ll never tell—you’ve been sworn to secrecy, of course. Just tease him about being the next crush ng bayan, or how he might have a stalker soon, then quickly end the text convo. Whew! Mission accomplished!

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Abi Aquino
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