Like The Eraserheads once sang in the bygone age of cassette tapes, "There are B-sides to every story." Ah, those quaint analog days, with their Side A and Side B and the chance the long snake-y tape will get tangled up in the cassette heads-doesn't dealing with guys feel much the same? The Eraserheads have already broken up, cassettes have been replaced by iPods, but girl-guy interaction still hasn't moved on to the digital age. Candy helps you untangle the mess and figure out the hidden side to every story.
Track 1:
"I always thought he was a friend, but lately he's been blowing me off. We never get to talk anymore, and he seems to be avoiding me."
Side A
He's not really avoiding you. He's the same old friend you know, just, you know, busy with other stuff. Unlike girls, guys have a very malleable view of friendship. Their bonds are looser, and the maintenance much, much lower. Hey, what can you expect from a person whose idea of a gimmick is a round of NBA Live? He'll eventually come around.
Side B
He's committed the deadliest friendship mistake of all: falling for a gal pal. Now he's trying to shut those feelings out by keeping his distance. Isn't it strange that while he's avoiding you in real life, his text message frequency has suddenly increased? No doubt about it-he's got a crush on you. The question is: what are you going to
Track 2:
"People say he's a cool guy to hang with, but I just don't see it! Sorry for saying this, but he's just super yabang. All he ever does is talk about himself, or the places he's been to, or the cool things he's done. Kainis!"
Side A
If he had it his way, the solar system would revolve around him, and he'd call his pimples "sunspots." Self-centeredness is truly an ugly trait, but still, be prepared to cut him some slack. He probably doesn't realize how egocentric he sounds whenever he opens his mouth. Gently steer the conversation away from his favorite subject (himself!) and onto more interesting topics-namely, you. If he still doesn't get the hint, then console yourself with the knowledge that he's nothing but an insecure guy, who has to make up plunging self-worth by telling everyone, loudly, how worthy he is.
Side B
He's trying to impress you. He probably has the idea that you're way out of his league. But he's decided to take his chances anyway, and the only way to get you to notice him is if he lets you know, right off the bat, how cool or worldly or smart or athletic or creative he is. What he doesn't know is that his plan's backfired-he's only making himself sound like an arrogant poser. Well, at least he got you to notice him. That's a start, right?