To the Girl Who Still Feels Guilty for Leaving a Toxic Relationship
Let me be the one to tell you that you did the right thing. Wear your walking away like a badge because after enduring so much pain, you have finally stood up for yourself. After months of sacrificing your own bliss for someone else's out of love, you have finally realized that you deserve so much more. Know that you did not leave for the sake of inflicting pain; you walked out of that door to rescue what was left of your already broken heart. You just saved yourself; you had to, or you will lose everything you’ve ever known to what you thought was love. It wasn't love, not even close.
Love is not abrasive; it is not supposed to shatter your core with hurtful words that ring long after they come out of his lips. Love is also not the one to leave you alone with your thoughts at night, deserting you to fight your demons all by yourself. Love is not meant to hurt, not like this, not the kind of pain that cripples and takes out all the air in your lungs. Love shouldn't break you to pieces that you don't know which parts of you are still intact. Love when true, will embrace you so tight that your broken pieces will be put back together. Love is meant to make you forget that pain exists in the world because right here in the arms of the one you love such word holds no meaning. Remember that love is not meant to wear you down; love is supposed to keep you together when the world wants nothing else but to see you crumble, especially then. What he gave you wasn't love, not even close.
Stop seeing yourself as a coward for turning your back on him.You fought until you can take no more, therefore you have done enough. Sometimes in life you will have to fight impossible battles so that you can learn how to retreat from people who are not worth fighting for. You are not meant to stay with him forever for he is only a fleeting lesson on graceful surrender. Tonight, I want you to remember how he chose to hurt you one too many times because he knew you would never give up on him. Remember all the painful words that spilled from his lips and how much they stung. Remember how hiswords still sting up to now. Remember how he never made you feel that you’re good enough, no matter how hard you tried. You do not deserve to be in this much pain; so let him go before you lose yourself in loving him.He did not give you a reason to stay and sometimes, having no reason to stay is enough reason to leave. What he gave you wasn't love, not even close. You have done right thing.