The Truth About Boys

by Drew Asuncion   |  Apr 11, 2010
photo courtesy of 20th Century Fox
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The Rap: Guys are lazy.
The Reality:
Guys like to act as if we don't want to do anything, and we do a great job of it. But the funny thing is, we're really not that lazy. We just like to pretend we don't get anything done, because chances are you'll get so sick of us doing sea slug impersonations that you'll do everything yourselves. And our super-thick skin protects us from your futile nagging as you do the stuff we were supposed to! (Insert evil laugh here.)

The Rap: Guys are brooding and solitary when they're troubled, and don't want to be bothered.
The Reality:
Oh sure, he may give off that moody, dark vibe when he's thinking about something. When he's in a funk, all that's lacking is a "Do Not Disturb-Stay 100 Meters Away" sign taped on his forehead. But don't be fooled by the gruff exterior. We like to look tough because it's the cool thing to do, but we appreciate a good cathartic conversation as much as any girl does (maybe even more!). Be prepared, however, for the possibility of enduring that most ghastly of spectacles-a crying guy.

The Rap: Guys aren't kikay about their looks.
The Reality:
Messy hair, unbuttoned polo shirts, low jeans... Do you really think these looks are accidental? If you do, think again! Metrosexual guys used to generally be frowned upon by society, but the times are a-changing. You only have to look at the rise in gym memberships and hair gel sales to see it's true. Now, whoever walks into a men's comfort room will see guys bathing in perfume, smoothing their eyebrows, and taking 15 whole minutes to muss their hair up just right. There are even wannabe emo dudes patiently applying eyeliner! It's enough to make a guy wonder if he walked into the wrong bathroom.


The Rap: When it comes to choosing a girlfriend, guys only care about looks.
The Reality:
While the idea of a trophy girlfriend is not an alien one to majority of the male population, it's no longer the be-all and end-all of a relationship that our ├╝bermacho forefathers (or maybe even fathers) used to believe. While ladies' looks may get them a foot in the door, it's the whole package that brings you into the girlfriend auditioning room. And if you found those lines a bit inappropriate, not to mention misogynistic, then you're the kind of girl we'd be interested in.

The Rap: Guys are not romantic.
The Reality:
Okay, so this might not apply to every guy in the good ol' R of the P. But it still applies to a hefty percentage of us. Those super romantic, totally outrageous methods of marriage proposal you see in the movies?

We'd bet good money those scenes were written by women. And the few cute, touching, sensitive guys who do manage to be so romantic all the time? We'd check their closets if we were you, because something might-ahem!-"come out." Nope, the best you can hope for is the occasional spurt of romanticism from your guy. Think about it, though: Aren't occasional spurts more surprising and touching than 24/7 sugary sweetness? 

The Rap: Guys are mean to girls they like.
The Reality:
In today's consumer-driven world, sellers have to be able to entice buyers effectively. In this case, girls are the consumers, while guys are the retailers. At any given time, a girl may have two or more guys who like her, so why in God's name would a guy risk pissing the girl off enough to make her pass on him? Maybe this style worked back in fifth grade, but in today's fast-paced, female-empowered teenage world, this style can only be described as bulok with a capital, bold-faced B. Besides, we wouldn't want to be with a girl who actually enjoys being treated like dirt.

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The Rap: Guys don't like girls who are too forward.
The Reality:
Thinking bad thoughts about girls who aren't shy to tell guys how they feel is, honestly, about as outdated as baston pants. In Filipino, "Yung palay na ang lumalapit sa manok," and we'd refuse? Remember, blessings are too rare nowadays for anyone to not accept. And the sort of confident girl who has the guts to do what we're scared to do is definitely cool in our book.

The Rap: Guys only think about girls and sports.
The Reality:
In the spring (or in any season, actually!), a young man's fancy turns to thoughts of... love and sports? Scratch that, because it's all about the former, and not really the latter. Sure, getting into a sport is a great way to channel all that pent-up male energy, and it's something guys can do to bond and be all "Yeah, pare!" with their friends. But one of the biggest reasons guys like sports is this: Athletic types impress you ladies so much. Honestly, when was the last time you thought, "Hey, that pimply nerd is so much cooler than that tall and fit soccer player?" So when guys get together and go on and on about sports, rest easy because YOU are the ultimate prize they're shooting for.

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Drew Asuncion
Contributing Writer
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