Guys

The Subtle Art of Subtext

Deciphering the subtext of his text.
photo courtesy of The CW/ETC (Gossip Girl)

A side from air and the accompanying smog, the most omnipresent thing in our country today is texting. Anywhere you go, you’ll see all sorts of people walking with their heads bowed, focused on tapping out little messages of love and whatnot on their mobile phones, all the while praying that A) their things don’t get snatched by some alert, light-fingered crook, and B) they don’t fall into an open manhole they might have missed because they were too busy texting. Yes, SMS even has its own ABC now—that’s how pervasive it is in our culture.

 

Which brings us to a great point: If SMS is the new telebabad, then does it hold that it’s also a great way to develop relationships, specifically those of the romantic kind? Well, in this writer’s experience, it actually is. However, there are factors which you have to consider when using text messages in this manner. For one thing, it’s like talking through writing. And as you probably know, there are a lot of things you can convey through speaking that don’t come out too clearly when you write it down. And this isn’t something that affects you ladies only: we guys occasionally get tripped up by this fact as well. So to make things a bit clearer for everyone, your friends here at Candy are listing down the most common questions regarding the confusing world known as texting. We’re providing some answers which we hope will make more sense than simply saying “ewn ko s yo!

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Do guys create and edit their messages almost as much as Shakespeare did before sending them?

Again, it depends. If a guy is texting someone he simply considers a friend, then he’ll text her just like he texts all his friends: short, simple, and most probably peppered with all the phonetic abbreviations you can handle. If it’s a girl, however, particularly someone whom said guy is really into, things change. Every word is correctly spelled, for fear of being misunderstood due to some small screw-up. Every bit of the sentence, even the punctuation, is carefully analyzed. Is the text too forward? Does it sound threatening? Does it sound too like a just-friends text? Hey, give us some credit, girls. Even our term papers weren’t this painstakingly crafted.

 

Do guys like smiley faces on text messages sent to them by girls? Does it mean something to them?

Here’s a common question. We think that smiley faces (either the classic emoticon-type :) or the more time-saving U with an umlaut) brighten up any message to anyone, but it particularly makes a guy’s day when a girl texts him with a smiley face. It means that the girl is comfortable talking with him, and he can just imagine that smile on her face. Does it mean anything? Well, it really depends on the context of the message and on the guy himself. If the message is about something as mundane as how to do a school project, then it shouldn’t mean anything. But if you’re asking him to go to your house to help you do it, followed by a smiley face—then it can mean a lot! Also, more jaded guys may consider a smiley face as just something to fill up the space in an SMS message; but the hopeless romantics among the male population will definitely swoon over the slightest use of a smiley face from a female text buddy.

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But if a guy texts me with a smiley face after every sentence, does that mean he likes me?

It’s pretty much ditto for this case, girls. Some guys will always place a smiley face at the end of their messages because they’re the happy type and because they consider you a good friend. In this case, you shouldn’t rely solely on the strength of smiley faces at the end of texts to determine if he’s into you, as in, into you. Having said that, it does take a lot of effort to place a smiley face after every sentence, and not every message. Guys don’t really like to exert too much effort in something as trivial as a text message because, yes, majority of us are lazy-ass slobs. We’d say that asks for a little creative sleuthing on your part.

 

Okay, so if a guy texts me without any smiley faces at all, does that mean he doesn’t like me, much less acknowledge my existence?

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This writer had that problem before, wherein a girl I was texting wouldn’t put any smiley faces on her messages. That led me to worry about my status with her. I thought she was mad at me or something. It turned out she was lazier than I was in composing texts, so she assumed she didn’t have to put smileys in every message. So it’s not necessarily a given that he doesn’t like you if he isn’t a smiley freak. Maybe he’s just so comfortable with you that he doesn’t bother to think about whether the absence of a smiley face in his text would affect you or not. Just don’t be too rash in judging things based on smiley faces, okay? Things can get very confusing if you do, particularly if your feelings for the guy start to amplify your every little doubt and worry.

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Want to know what it means when a guy doesn't text back? Read the next page to find out.

 


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Serene Fae 15 hours ago

"The paradoxical idea of attaining a happier life and how to withstand these beliefs."

The Revolting Truth About Happiness by Theserenefae

If people ask you about your vision of a happier life we automatically envision ourselves having more money, true love, a better job, Instagram-worthy vacations, etc. But let me break this to you this, According to Dr. Laurie Santos, Professor of Psychology at Yale University and the voice behind The Happiness Lab podcast, "Most of the goals we think would make us happy do not really make us happy." And why is that? Simple, being happy is all in our minds. The human mind ploys us with these lenses on how we envision ourselves and our lives to be happy. The perception of "having" or "gaining" is the exact opposite of what will truly make our lives better. So how can we really be "happy"?

• Seek happiness inside you. This is a quintessential reason for our vision of happiness: misconceptions about having a lot of money would make me happy; owning this and that would make me happy; entering a relationship would make me happy. This is not the case, if you want to be truly happy with your relationship, you have to be already happy on your own. If you want satisfaction from others, you have to be satisfied with yourself. And so on.

• Fill that hole righteously We all have that tiny hole inside our hearts, tampering it with temporary band-aids. Fill this hole with purpose. Have you ever heard about The Three "M's"— Master, Mission, and Mate? Define who will be your Master, is it God? If that's so, your Mission could be following his words and will. Mate would be the last for they will be the best companion to fulfill your mission. Now hear me out, it is important to do this accordingly. We often times jumble it or invert it which can lead to failures.

• Give gifts to others. The wonderful grace in giving. There’s nothing like the rush of pure joy when you get a chance to give. However, this may not be something that we're used to. But apparently, openhandedness is our soul's true shape. As Eugene Peterson put it, "Giving is what we do best. It is the air into which we were born." This doesn't necessarily mean we have to give away our stuff but we can also present love, kindness, gratefulness, etc. in our own simplest ways to anyone such as giving time, encouragement, helping hand, or even forgiveness. Try giving and you'll receive inconceivable gifts in return.

• Savor moments. Savoring deeply intensifies our positive emotions while doing something that we love the most by simply stepping outside of the experience to review and appreciate the moment. You can practice this by having a delicious meal, reading a good book, or any activity that you enjoy and love. It can also be enhanced by sharing these experiences with others, appreciating such amazing moments, or staying present the entire time.

• Choose to Love Deeper Today's society relentlessly pressures all of us to have this "perfect" lifestyle such as pursuing careers that drain you, finding value through virtual world and purchases, letting achievements become your whole identity, and yet after all that you still feel empty and failure inside. Consumption is just skin deep—a shallow perception of happiness. Deep life brings the best out of us and others. It is about nourishing what you already have, focusing on the relationships than material wealth, becoming vulnerable at times, and being self-aware.

• Understand that Sufferings and Pain are part of Human Being. Always remember that loneliness and sufferings are inevitable. That is completely how life goes. You may be happy for a moment or a month but sooner or later great tribulation will start to kick in. Combat despair with graciousness. Count all the blessings that you have (and will have in near future, claim it!) by writing it down on a piece of paper or typing on your phone. Viola! an instant boost for happiness. We all know the fact that this superficial happiness won't work, but why do I keep on wanting? I already have all this wisdom about how to be happy for ages, but why can't I apply it to my own life?

First, you have to understand that simply knowing doesn't change your behavior. Care to realize that all the tips that I have mentioned are all verbs? Because at the end of the day, it is all about how you choose to be happy and initiate actions towards success. Know, reflect, visualize, believe, and do something about it. All of these are Actions! This is the secret of all the happiest and most influential people in the world—actions. Furthermore, do know that some of these tips do not work instantly most of the time. It requires a lot of time, motivation, consistency, and effort. I do know it's easier said than done. Take each of them slowly, one step at a time.

If it wasn’t for pain, I wouldn’t be alive. It may sound contradictory, but it’s true. Pain reminds me that I can feel, along with other emotions. Pain reminds me that I can heal, just like how I did in the past. Pain reminds me that I am strong and I can do better. It reminds me that life can be bitter, and it is up to us to make it a little sweeter (or saltier, depending on what the person wants).

With this epiphany, I take pain in a positive light. It’s normal that it can break me and make me want to stay in bed all day, but having someone or something remind me that there is hope is enough. It’s normal that I cry my heart out, but it’s important to remember that there’s a calm after the storm. If it wasn’t for pain, I wouldn’t be who I am now. It has shaped me and how I look at things. It has changed the way I approach circumstances that can challenge me and my beliefs.

Pain, back then, made me cower in the dark. Pain used to be my biggest fear, and I used to do my best to avoid pain. However, I realized that avoiding pain is like avoiding life. Because of how I wanted to protect myself, I closed myself off to people and opportunities. I used to tell myself that “this will end badly”, or “this is going to hurt in the end”. I always focused on how much pain I might endure in the end that I forgot to enjoy the process.

It’s inevitable, you see? Endings, most of the time, may hurt. It’s natural for us to grow attached to someone or something, and their disappearance might bring us a lot of pain. However, one should always remember that the pain is a reminder of how close you became, how many memories you had. If it wasn’t for pain, life would be pointless. If it wasn’t for pain, we would be nothing.

margaux marie 15 hours ago

19 year old pharmacy student-businesswoman from Pampanga. I, Kimberly Chaile D. Ocampo, started planning my own business back when I was 18 years old. Despite being a student, that did not stop me to work and start up something for me to earn my own money. I was also influenced by my parents who are both hands on when it comes to the marketing world. I have decided to start my own mini restaurant/fast food restaurant recently (Feb 2020) and it was named as “Hungry Hubb”. From the word itself which is “Hungry” we thought of something that would give people the biggest hint that we sell food.

Because of the sudden quarantine, every store was forced to close for our own safety that is why there was a sudden decrease on our sales. But Hungry Hubb managed to survive by focusing on online selling and social media promotion. Our best seller would be Shawarma salad which is mediterranean style. We add authentic Garlic sauce to our shawarma (Which is available in Wrap, Salad, & Rice). Every product that we sell are very affordable and delicious. Our starting price is only 50php. (Shawarma Wrap). For Shawarma Salad (70php). We also have Milktea (60php) and Rice meals such as Lechon Kawali, Chicken barbecue, and Pork Barbecue for only 120 pesos.

And of course, I wouldn’t make it up this far without the help of my family and friends who have supported be from the very start. This is an open letter and inspirational especially to students that want to earn their own money. Nothing is impossible. You just have to be determined enough to turn your plans into reality.

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