The Candy Girl's Guide To First Dates
Oh the dread when a guy asks you out. Don't get us wrong. Of course there's nothing like the feeling of having a guy (especially someone we really like) want to chill with us, but just thinking about the very first time on a date is just way too stressful. To help you get through this momentous and (what's supposed to be a) joyous occasion, our dear Candy Girls, here's a cheat sheet we put together for you. Good luck!
First Date Dos
1. Do give him lengthy answers. We know you're feeling shy and a bit awkward, but you can make it easier for him. When he asks you a question, answer with enthusiasm (not too much or you'll appear nervous). Give him enough details to get to know you better and give him room to ask follow-up quessies. Making single-word replies will just pressure him to keep the conversation going. Or worse, just end the conversation right away. And you don't want that!
2. Do ask him about his day or himself, too. You shouldn't be the only person talking. You're getting to know each other, so keep in mind a few questions that will get him to talk about himself, too. If you notice that he's extra shy or that he doesn't want to talk that much, find common ground and work from there. Take some pressure off his shoulders and do your part so both of you can have a good time.
3. Do research a bit about him. We know we don't have to tell you this because c'mon, we stalk people online. But research about what his interests are or what he's been up to the past few days—what movies he's watched or who he's been with. Just don't be too obvious with extremely specific details (like directly quoting an Instagram caption) because he might get creeper vibes from you.
4. Do study his actions and be considerate. Make sure he's feeling fine and comfortable. Ask him where he wants to eat and if it's very different from what you want, let him know politely. Don't turn him down right away, though, and be open to new things. That's how you get to learn more about him.
First Date Don'ts
1. Don't go all TMI. Girl, you don't have to tell him that you puked when you were in kindergarten or that you read in his profile that he likes this and that. Just casually hint that a friend must have mentioned it one time. It won't sound as creepy, promise. Need more help in talking to him? We have something useful over here.
2. Don't talk about your exes. Whether it's an official ex or an unofficial one, just don't. More often than not, talking about your exes will result in bad-mouthing him. So before you find your date running for his life and thinking you're a "Blank Space" kind of girl, cross out that item from your list of possible topics to talk about on a date.
3. Don't text or tinker with your phone. Be polite. You wouldn't want to see him talking to another person online while you're right there with him, right? Do the same. Save all the kwento for your BFFs when you get home.
Got first date tips you want to share with us? Let us know in the comments or tweet us @candymagdotcom. We always love hearing from you. :)
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"The paradoxical idea of attaining a happier life and how to withstand these beliefs."
The Revolting Truth About Happiness by Theserenefae
If people ask you about your vision of a happier life we automatically envision ourselves having more money, true love, a better job, Instagram-worthy vacations, etc. But let me break this to you this, According to Dr. Laurie Santos, Professor of Psychology at Yale University and the voice behind The Happiness Lab podcast, "Most of the goals we think would make us happy do not really make us happy." And why is that? Simple, being happy is all in our minds. The human mind ploys us with these lenses on how we envision ourselves and our lives to be happy. The perception of "having" or "gaining" is the exact opposite of what will truly make our lives better. So how can we really be "happy"?
• Seek happiness inside you. This is a quintessential reason for our vision of happiness: misconceptions about having a lot of money would make me happy; owning this and that would make me happy; entering a relationship would make me happy. This is not the case, if you want to be truly happy with your relationship, you have to be already happy on your own. If you want satisfaction from others, you have to be satisfied with yourself. And so on.
• Fill that hole righteously We all have that tiny hole inside our hearts, tampering it with temporary band-aids. Fill this hole with purpose. Have you ever heard about The Three "M's"— Master, Mission, and Mate? Define who will be your Master, is it God? If that's so, your Mission could be following his words and will. Mate would be the last for they will be the best companion to fulfill your mission. Now hear me out, it is important to do this accordingly. We often times jumble it or invert it which can lead to failures.
• Give gifts to others. The wonderful grace in giving. There’s nothing like the rush of pure joy when you get a chance to give. However, this may not be something that we're used to. But apparently, openhandedness is our soul's true shape. As Eugene Peterson put it, "Giving is what we do best. It is the air into which we were born." This doesn't necessarily mean we have to give away our stuff but we can also present love, kindness, gratefulness, etc. in our own simplest ways to anyone such as giving time, encouragement, helping hand, or even forgiveness. Try giving and you'll receive inconceivable gifts in return.
• Savor moments. Savoring deeply intensifies our positive emotions while doing something that we love the most by simply stepping outside of the experience to review and appreciate the moment. You can practice this by having a delicious meal, reading a good book, or any activity that you enjoy and love. It can also be enhanced by sharing these experiences with others, appreciating such amazing moments, or staying present the entire time.
• Choose to Love Deeper Today's society relentlessly pressures all of us to have this "perfect" lifestyle such as pursuing careers that drain you, finding value through virtual world and purchases, letting achievements become your whole identity, and yet after all that you still feel empty and failure inside. Consumption is just skin deep—a shallow perception of happiness. Deep life brings the best out of us and others. It is about nourishing what you already have, focusing on the relationships than material wealth, becoming vulnerable at times, and being self-aware.
• Understand that Sufferings and Pain are part of Human Being. Always remember that loneliness and sufferings are inevitable. That is completely how life goes. You may be happy for a moment or a month but sooner or later great tribulation will start to kick in. Combat despair with graciousness. Count all the blessings that you have (and will have in near future, claim it!) by writing it down on a piece of paper or typing on your phone. Viola! an instant boost for happiness. We all know the fact that this superficial happiness won't work, but why do I keep on wanting? I already have all this wisdom about how to be happy for ages, but why can't I apply it to my own life?
First, you have to understand that simply knowing doesn't change your behavior. Care to realize that all the tips that I have mentioned are all verbs? Because at the end of the day, it is all about how you choose to be happy and initiate actions towards success. Know, reflect, visualize, believe, and do something about it. All of these are Actions! This is the secret of all the happiest and most influential people in the world—actions. Furthermore, do know that some of these tips do not work instantly most of the time. It requires a lot of time, motivation, consistency, and effort. I do know it's easier said than done. Take each of them slowly, one step at a time.
If it wasn’t for pain, I wouldn’t be alive. It may sound contradictory, but it’s true. Pain reminds me that I can feel, along with other emotions. Pain reminds me that I can heal, just like how I did in the past. Pain reminds me that I am strong and I can do better. It reminds me that life can be bitter, and it is up to us to make it a little sweeter (or saltier, depending on what the person wants).
With this epiphany, I take pain in a positive light. It’s normal that it can break me and make me want to stay in bed all day, but having someone or something remind me that there is hope is enough. It’s normal that I cry my heart out, but it’s important to remember that there’s a calm after the storm. If it wasn’t for pain, I wouldn’t be who I am now. It has shaped me and how I look at things. It has changed the way I approach circumstances that can challenge me and my beliefs.
Pain, back then, made me cower in the dark. Pain used to be my biggest fear, and I used to do my best to avoid pain. However, I realized that avoiding pain is like avoiding life. Because of how I wanted to protect myself, I closed myself off to people and opportunities. I used to tell myself that “this will end badly”, or “this is going to hurt in the end”. I always focused on how much pain I might endure in the end that I forgot to enjoy the process.
It’s inevitable, you see? Endings, most of the time, may hurt. It’s natural for us to grow attached to someone or something, and their disappearance might bring us a lot of pain. However, one should always remember that the pain is a reminder of how close you became, how many memories you had. If it wasn’t for pain, life would be pointless. If it wasn’t for pain, we would be nothing.
Cancelled vacations, parties, events, meetings and appointments might be the ingredients of someone’s anxiousness. I just recently published a blog titled ‘Ways to Lessen Anxiety During Quarantine’ I hope it could everyone to lessen their worries in these trying times. Here is the link: https://photographsbycess.wordpress.com/2020/07/05/ways-to-lessen-anxiety-during-quarantine/
After months of being on a strict lockdown, we are now finally under GCQ (General Community Quarantine)! At this time, establishments are reopening, offices are resuming, and suspension of public transportations have been lifted.
But of course, we still need to follow protocols for everyone's safety because Ms. Rona (COVID-19) is still around the country. Practicing social distancing, using alcohol everywhere you go, and wearing your face mask are always a must! Numerous studies proved that wearing face masks is compulsory as we shift to the new normal because it serves as our shield against the virus.
From that, fashion designers and online shops started selling stylish masks using high-quality fabrics (which is effective to use in filtration) with prints and attractive colors which I really do love bc I've always been a fan of dressing up. This is perfect for all the girls like me, they can just mix and match their outfits with their stylish and protective face mask!
ps. always wear your face masks!! be fashionably safe xx
19 year old pharmacy student-businesswoman from Pampanga. I, Kimberly Chaile D. Ocampo, started planning my own business back when I was 18 years old. Despite being a student, that did not stop me to work and start up something for me to earn my own money. I was also influenced by my parents who are both hands on when it comes to the marketing world. I have decided to start my own mini restaurant/fast food restaurant recently (Feb 2020) and it was named as “Hungry Hubb”. From the word itself which is “Hungry” we thought of something that would give people the biggest hint that we sell food.
Because of the sudden quarantine, every store was forced to close for our own safety that is why there was a sudden decrease on our sales. But Hungry Hubb managed to survive by focusing on online selling and social media promotion. Our best seller would be Shawarma salad which is mediterranean style. We add authentic Garlic sauce to our shawarma (Which is available in Wrap, Salad, & Rice). Every product that we sell are very affordable and delicious. Our starting price is only 50php. (Shawarma Wrap). For Shawarma Salad (70php). We also have Milktea (60php) and Rice meals such as Lechon Kawali, Chicken barbecue, and Pork Barbecue for only 120 pesos.
And of course, I wouldn’t make it up this far without the help of my family and friends who have supported be from the very start. This is an open letter and inspirational especially to students that want to earn their own money. Nothing is impossible. You just have to be determined enough to turn your plans into reality.