The Breakup Manual

Here is a step-by-step guide on how to deal with a breakup.
by Ines Bautista-Yao   |  Jan 30, 2010
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Beware the Bumps

Remember that you are at your most vulnerable now. There are a few potholes you might encounter. Instead of plunging into them, try to steer clear of them-or quickly clamber out if you do take a fall.

  1. Addictive Stuff. Taking anything addictive may help you escape the ache for the moment, but it will keep coming back. And the more you try to cover it up, the stronger the backlash. Alcohol, drugs, or even too much partying can't cover up what you're feeling. In fact, their consequences are more deadly than any heartbreak you're going to experience. So stay away from them—especially now.
  2. Rebound. He has left behind a huge gap. And if someone comes along and tries to fill it, your feeble little heart might mistake it for love. According to Nympha Banzon, guidance counselor at Assumption High School, a rebound happens when you aren't over your ex and you jump into another relationship. You end up hurting the next guy because you eventually realize that you aren't over guy #1 and that you don't love guy #2. You break someone else's heart, totally embarrass yourself, and maybe even add to your own heartbreak too. Definitely not the way to get over it.
  3. Weekends, Holidays, and Birthdays. These are the worst. The best thing to do is to prepare for these days ahead. Plan a sleepover! Schedule a trip to the parlor or to the zoo. OD on action flicks (with absolutely no hints of romance in them) with your boy buds. Just make sure you aren't alone on these days and that you're doing something you enjoy.
  4. The Roller Coaster Of Emotions. It will happen that when you think you're doing okay, something will bring you down again. Just steel yourself for the ups and downs of healing. And know that as jarring as they can be, you're definitely on your way to being happy again!

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About the author
Ines Bautista-Yao
Former Editor in Chief, Candy
ines@candymag.com
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