The 7 Phases Guys Deal With After a Breakup
After a breakup of a great relationship, a guy may seem like he's free, happy, and all that, but that's usually far from the truth. The media portrays guys as people who would rather be single than tied-up in a relationship, and while that may remain true to some, it's not always the case—especially if the relationship was great. After all, it's human nature to want to love and be loved.
Phase 1: Her loss. Guys have huge egos. We'd rather make ourselves believe that the breakup was less of a loss for us because our pride needs it. We'll go tell our friends that we're "fine" just so we'll feel happier for the mean time. On the contrary, however, we're not, and only a few of our closest friends know that.
Phase 2: Socializing. It's only logical to think that if something you lost makes you unhappy, replace it so you can be happy again. This is why most guys would talk to girls after a break up. Since we don't have those constant conversations on the phone every night anymore or random text messaging and instant messaging when we're bored, we tend to look for it in other people. Of course, it's pretty weird for us to text our guy friends like half of the day, so we'd prefer texting other girls. Other forms of socializing may be excessively tweeting, re-tweeting, or clicking favorite on cryptic tweets, if we have no one to talk to.
Phase 3: Emo. Even if we converse with several people through our phones or social media most of the time, at the end of the day, we'll always end up feeling lonely. There's always that nagging feeling that something is missing, especially if the breakup is pretty recent. Of course, we try to put up our poker faces in front of our friends, but when we're alone, it's all we can think about.
Phase 4: Stalking The Ex. Yes, we stalk our ex. Most guys wouldn't admit to this, but with the presence of mutual friends and the availability of this sort of technology, it's most likely been done by every guy out there. Even if the girl's accounts are private and we've been blocked, we'll always find a way to at least get a hint of what she's up to. I mean, sometimes, we're just get curious.
Phase 5: Exploring the ocean. Yes, our friends would constantly tell us, "Don't worry, there are other fish in the sea." So, we go ahead and try fishing. Now this could either go one of two ways. One, we get to find a really decent girl whom we're willing to date. Or two, we're just not over The Ex. It really depends on the time when this happens.
Phase 6: Begging for a second chance.If there's one thing we've learned from watching tearjerkers with The Ex, it's that there can always be a second chance. Now, this phase is more of an internal debate on whether or not we should go back and ask The Ex for another shot. This is coupled with a few conversations with our closest guy friends—yes, we do those, too. How it plays out really can't be predicted, but if we decide to go for a second chance and the girl accepts, we're more likely to do better this time. If not, then there's the next phase.
Phase 7: Getting over her. Honestly, getting over a relationship isn't easy. Us, guys make it seem like we're so happy after a breakup just so we won't appear vulnerable. As I said, it's the ego. However, after a certain amount of time in reflection and the company of good friends, we'll eventually get over it.
How do you get over a breakup? Let us know in the comments or tweet us @candymagdotcom. It's time you shared your thoughts, too. :)