Guys

Struggles of Couples Who Live in Different Regions in the Philippines

How come it still feels like an LDR.... when we're in the same timezone?
IMAGE Clare Magno

Even though being in the same timezone may make a relationship seem lucky, distance still feels like distance, no matter what. Here are some of the usually encountered struggles of couples who live in the Philippines, but are from different areas:

Physical Presence

As much as Long Distance Couples will tell you how lucky you are, technically, it's still hard to be physically. Both of you might have school or work, so it's not that easy to just get on a bus or a plane to see each other. Most of my friends who are in a relationship like this tell me that not being able to see each other becomes so difficult at times because there are just days you want to actually be with them to tell them about your day and not have to do that over phone or video chat.

The best advice: it pays to wait, always. Their presence feels almost 10 times more precious and you learn never to take it for granted again.

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Having Different Worlds

The relationship becomes challenging when you always have to put everything into context for your significant other for them to keep up with everything that goes on in your life. For example, one of my friends transferred to the city while her boyfriend lives in the province and she tells me that there was a time she felt that they were drifting because he could no longer understand what exactly is happening in her life nor did he try to. He felt like she was changing too much because of all these new and different things that were going on in her life. They wanted to fix what was wrong so he made a surprise visit to the city and immersed himself in her world—got to know her friends, saw in person the things she would constantly talk about and finally had an image of the world she was in.

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He felt like she was changing too much because of all these new and different things that were going on in her life.

Jealous Tendencies

Like any other relationship, there is always the possibility of jealousy arousing. Especially when you feel like you're starting to live in different worlds, it becomes almost too easy to feel insecure and fall into a pattern of jealousy. When I asked my friends why he thinks he got extra jealous when his girlfriend moved to the city while he lives in the province, he said, "Because you can't see what her life is like anymore and I was scared that she might have wanted to be with a guy who does." A few years into it, things got drastically better because of the challenges they faced, funnily enough. For every problem they solved together, it gave him more and more security that shooed his fear and jealousy away.

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You can't see what her life is like anymore and I was scared that she might have wanted to be with a guy who does.

Wanting to Share the Moment

There are moments where you just wish your significant other was here to see it or experience it with you. It gets tough—the slight feeling of emptiness because you start to miss them a lot, and think about what you would give just to have them there. My friend's boyfriend could not make it to her birthday because all the buses from the province to the city were cancelled and it was too late to look for any other way of transportation. Even though she understood, she told me:

I couldn't help but feel disappointed because it sucks. I mean, the person you want to celebrate with is so far away and you feel helpless because there's nothing you can do, but wait for the next moment you'll share.

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About the author
Julianne Suazo
Candymag.com Correspondent
What makes me a certified Candy girl is my desire and eagerness to present myself as me, but better.
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