Do be yourself.
Don't start going au naturel.
Please don't get us wrong: we're 100%, government-certified, all-rights-reserved, head over heels in love with you. But there are things you do that make us crazy about you, and then there are things you do that, um, just really drive us crazy. There's a difference, trust us, but we'd never say it to your pretty faces, so we're chickening out and writing it in this magazine instead. (P.S. Did we mention we love you?)
Do try to hang out with our pals.
Don't forget about yours.
Guys have a term for fellow male species—those traitors!—who ditch their friends to hang out with the fairer sex: CBF (Chicks Before Friends). Don't you turn into the female equivalent! Your friends were there before we came along; they deserve nothing less than sterling, first-class bonding and quality time. At the same time, we do appreciate your valiant efforts to get along with our friends. It takes a very brave soul to hang out with that bunch of schmucks.
Do say "Thank you!" when we compliment you.
Don't say, "You're just saying that 'cause you love me!"
Pre-couplehood, you were all kilig every time we zinged you with a compliment. Post-couplehood, we just sigh out the word "beautiful" and you look like we just slapped you in the face with a wet fish. What's up with that? Every girl we know has done this. We think it's genetic or something. We're only guys, we're not that deep. When we say you're beautiful, we mean it.
Do say something... even if a fight is on the way.
Don't say nothing... but fight us anyway.
The silent treatment is a girl's deadliest weapon. It's like a stealthy nuke: before we even know what hit us, there's an ash-covered crater where your good mood used to be. We're sorry for whatever it is we did, but—what was it anyway? It's good to know what we're apologizing for, just so it will make sense. We don't read minds, you know, or vibe feelings...again, we're guys, and we're not that deep.
Do tell us about your day.
Don't demand minute-to-minute updates.
No, this is not a double standard. Telling each other about your respective days is a dynamic that should flow naturally, bursting out from the heart like how we fell in love. Keeping tabs on each other's every waking second is more like watching a really boring episode of 24. Trust us, our ear-cleaning, number-two-ing, time-apart-from-you exploits are nowhere near as exciting as Jack Bauer's (how we wish, though!). Besides, what do you want to hear more-how much gunk we've cleaned out of our ears, or how much we really, really love you?
Do stay as pretty as you are.
Don't ask, "Is that girl prettier than me?"
We love how you stay beautiful for us (um, see point one). But asking us to place you in some statistical graph of beauty is like asking balls to fall up or sardines to sing the national anthem. It's just flat-out impossible. In our eyes, there's only you—you who goes through a hundred shops in a dozen malls to find two identical tops, only to turn around and ask us, "Which looks better on me?" Hon, dear, love, sweetie... everything looks better on you.
Turning the Tables
Just when we thought we were off the hook, here are the five habits guys ought to pick up when they get into a relationship.
DO: Start getting a fashion sense.
DON'T: Shop for clothes without your girlfriend.
DO: Learn how to write sweet, swoon-y letters.
DON'T: Use "dude, pare, tsong-astig!" when talking to your GF.
DON'T: Get your eyebrows waxed... that's just too girly.
DO: Text her "Happy monthsary!" before she does.
DON'T: Draw a blank when she asks, "What song was playing when we first kissed?"
DO: Get her flowers.
DON'T: Believe her when she tells you she doesn't really like flowers (every girl likes flowers!)