Guys

Real Ghosts Exist: They’re the People Who Disappear on You Forever

It's a slap in the face when the person who eagerly swept you off your feet suddenly goes floating away.
IMAGE Unsplash.com

Let’s talk about ghosts. No, not the spirits of the dead that occasionally come back to the land of the living. Those are not difficult to understand. They’re just lonely and miss us. The real supernatural phenomena are the alive and well who make their presence felt for brief moments, then disappear forever (…but hopefully not, if we’re being honest). Let’s talk about the guy or girl who ghosted you.

He probably came in hot. She maybe played it cool. Did he ask you out? She looked good on that date, didn’t she? What all ghosts-to-be have in common is they seem perfectly comfortable in their bodies here on earth when you meet them. They look, my dearest friends, as if they’re here to stay. And, oh, how we wish they would!

You, on the other hand, well let’s see. Maybe you came in hot, played it cool, asked him out, or looked good on that date, too. What is difficult to ascertain is whether you spooked whoever ghosted you or if he or she was a known ghost, just making the usual rounds, and you the unlucky and impersonal victim.

ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW

CONTINUE READING BELOW
Recommended Videos

It’s a real slap in the face when the person who just yesterday so easily and eagerly swept you off your feet suddenly goes floating away. Surely you’re not getting ghosted. No, not you. You? No. No, no, no. His phone broke. Her iMessage is weird. He’s busy this week. She’s out for the weekend. He got arrested. Anything to avoid the confusing humiliation of being walked away from without explanation. She just missed the notification. Maybe you should send another text. Or five.

ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW

All ghosting comes as a surprise. It’s less likely to happen if you’ve been talking for a long period of time. Let’s say a year. But it can (and, sorry, will) happen anytime, especially when you least expect it, because you never really expect it at all.

It’s a real slap in the face when the person who just yesterday so eagerly swept you off your feet suddenly goes floating away.

You won’t see it coming, but you’ll know what it is when you see it. You’ll know you’re being ghosted because it’s not a mutual fizzling out of interest. It’s a stark and sudden one-sided abandonment. Whoever ghosted you did not, in a manner of speaking, get your consent in the matter. It’s a breach of social contract that, as far as you were concerned, was binding for a lifetime. The lifetime of your interest, at least.

ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW

And here we find the crux of the matter. We’re only ever upset about getting ghosted because we didn’t do the ghosting. See, nobody who ghosted you is the one. And you shouldn’t want him or her to be anyway. If someone is capable of ghosting you, who knows what else that someone can do. Or can’t.

Ghosting, as it turns out, is the ultimate turn-off. A non-negotiable dealbreaker. It’s only as deeply infuriating as it is because you didn’t see it coming, hence you couldn’t afford yourself the pride and luxury of acting on it. It was handed to you via a sucker punch without force but with so much impact. The ship had a big red flag but only raised it as it sailed away from the port. There’s no pride or luxury in that.

ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW

Then you make a fool of yourself. Suddenly you are running around town calling the ghost’s name. What happened was real! When it’s clear you should want nothing to do with said ghost, you instead want everything to do with him or her, but only for a minute, so you can get something done. Oh, you’ve ghosted someone in the past? Yeah, I’m not sure this is going to work. Oh, you’re ghosting me? No, come right back here so can ghost you. 

My advice? Expect everybody to ghost you until their behavior compels you to believe they won’t. Then up the standards of what compels you so you again expect them to ghost you. More important, be ready to ghost anyone at any given time. Do a few trial runs every now and then. You won’t be scared of ghosts if you go ahead and do the killing. Most important, let ghosts go. Attachment to the material world never does anyone good, but clinging to the paranormal… that’s just crazy.

ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW

This story originally appeared on Esquiremag.ph.

* Minor edits have been made by the Candymag.com editors.

your REACTION
CUTE

0

HEART

0

OMG

0

YAY

0

/////////////////////////////
COMMENTS. JOIN THE DISCUSSION BELOW!
Comments
VIEW more ARTICLES ABOUT
About the author
Romano Santos for Esquiremag.ph
VIEW OTHER ARTICLES FROM Romano

Create your content

Photo
Video
SoundCloud
Hi, you!
Title
Body Text
*1st 15 seconds will be uploaded
*File size limit (up to 60MB)
*File size limit (up to 60MB)
or
Upload Video
*For the direct video upload option, only the first 15 seconds of the video will be uploaded
*File size limit (up to 60MB)

By submitting your post, you agree to Candymag's Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.

Thank you for submitting your post.
You will be notified via email once your entry has been approved by the Candy team.

Submitted posts will be subject to the approval of the Candy Team.

A few reminders:

  1. Candy Bulletin is an online platform where users can upload original work, personal passion projects, and other forms of self-expression, for the purpose of sharing with the community.
  2. You can upload photos of your curated OOTDs, 15-second videos, essays, poems, and more, as long as the submitted work is original, follows copyright laws, and free of any nudity, pornography, or profanity.
  3. You are encouraged to comment on one another's posts, as long as everyone remains respectful.
Submit Another Post View More Posts
latest on CandyMag.com
 
x
Share
There are other courses that can help you prepare for its rigorous curriculum.
 
x
Share
The beauty queen flaunted Filipino fashion when she was invited to judge the Colombian pageant.
 
x
Share
 
x
Share
LOAD MORE ARTICLES
your REACTION
Pick a sticker to view stories by reaction!
/////////////////////////////
CONNECT WITH US