Read This When You Want to Text Your Ex
Possible drafts you're typing on your phone right now:
Maybe it isn't over.
I miss you.
How'd your day go?
I need you back.
Well, to answer them:
He doesn't need to know.
You don't need to know.
And no, just no.
The first thing you need to ask yourself when you're tempted to text your ex is this: What am I hoping to get out of this? I mean, suppose you do hit send. Did you prepare yourself for the kind of reply you're going to get, or lack thereof? Chances are, it's not going to be "I miss you too" or "Let's get back together" because life doesn't work that way. If you're still contemplating, here are some more reasons why you absolutely shouldn't text your ex:
- Rubbing salt on your wound. It's like putting yourself through the pain of the breakup all over again. When his reply doesn't necessarily meet your expectations, the only thing it does it make you realize that this break up is real, and that it's actually happening. Don't cause yourself unnecessary pain by texting him just because.
- It's never going to be the same. As much as you want to convince yourself that a text could bring whatever you had back, it's not going to. You have to remember that you broke up, and that you broke up for a reason. Whatever that reason is, it's probably for the better. The sooner you realize it's never going to go back to the way it was, the sooner you can move on to better things.
- It's not Going to make you feel less lonely. It gets very tempting when you're at your lowest in the wee hours of the morning, and you feel this pang of loneliness. You're reliving some of the best memories you've had together in your brain but you know what? You're just going to end up feeling even more lonely because in the end, no matter kind of reply you get, it's not the same, you're not together anymore.
You're not just going to be tempted to text him once or twice after the break up, in fact, you're probably going to be tempted every single day. It's going to be a continuous struggle of trying to press send and saving it in your draft. You have to tell yourself "no" repeatedly. When you text him, it's like trying to open a window that's locked from the other side. You have to be strong enough to remind yourself that you were happy before him and you could certainly be again after. Love yourself enough to know when to let things go.
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Dear me in six years, I wonder how life will treat you when you’re already 26 years old. Will you be financially stable? Will you be working in an advertising agency while pursuing everything about the arts? Will you be doing freelancing and living in a condo by then? I don’t know since things are very uncertain. I hope by the time you graduate from college and face the real meaning of the world, you’ll know what the real purpose of doing and living in the art will be.
I know it’s been so tough ever since you turned 20 but that’s how life works, I guess. There will be a lot of hopes and trials, breakdowns, and breakthroughs but I have high hopes of you becoming the better version of yourself. You always do, though. You were never a quitter. Making decisions is getting harder and harder as you grow but I hope it doesn’t make you stop doing what you really love to do. You will face different people with different perspectives. You will feel like a stranger once again, it’s like you were back in your freshmen year. It’s going to be tougher than you’ve expected but you can do it. I believe you can.
Most of the time, people's perception of us as a strong person makes us feel that we are not entitled to be vulnerable because they might be disappointed for seeing our weak spots. And so when we are hurting, we are often scared of extreme emotions and so bury our feelings. We deny them, trying to avoid the pain we feel.
But by doing that, we are just allowing it to come back to us and haunt us. And when it comes back, it might be stronger and it will be harder for us to get over it than when we faced them first. I realized it just now that facing those emotions will scare them until they're gone. The saying 'Let it hurt until it hurts no more' goes true. Admitting your pain to yourself doesn't make you weak. It only proves that you are strong enough to acknowledge such extreme emotions without avoiding them. We are humans and it's okay if we hurt sometimes.
Before, sliding over the rainbows
Now, our hearts are bruised
Days once full of love and laughter
Became dawns of forfeited ever after
Smiles that bring ticklish sensations
Turned to cold question and answer
Figuring who would be the next instructor
The queen’s awake
Grappling to the happiness that the sorrow and sadness take
Going back to all the promises he couldn’t make
Poetry #2: YOUR VOICE
When you talk, your voice brightens my days. You provide me comfort in all the little things that you do. Your deep and mellow voice sends a tingling feeling inside me that makes me want to keep you in my life. I love talking to you every time, every day, every night and every minute if I could. You're someone just simply amazing.
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