Read This When You Want to Text Your Ex

by Julianne Suazo   |  Apr 2, 2016
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Possible drafts you're typing on your phone right now:

Maybe it isn't over.
I miss you.
How'd your day go?
I need you back.

Well, to answer them:

It is.
He doesn't need to know.
You don't need to know.
And no, just no.

The first thing you need to ask yourself when you're tempted to text your ex is this: What am I hoping to get out of this? I mean, suppose you do hit send. Did you prepare yourself for the kind of reply you're going to get, or lack thereof? Chances are, it's not going to be "I miss you too" or "Let's get back together" because life doesn't work that way. If you're still contemplating, here are some more reasons why you absolutely shouldn't text your ex:

  1. Rubbing salt on your wound. It's like putting yourself through the pain of the breakup all over again. When his reply doesn't necessarily meet your expectations, the only thing it does it make you realize that this break up is real, and that it's actually happening. Don't cause yourself unnecessary pain by texting him just because.
  2. It's never going to be the same. As much as you want to convince yourself that a text could bring whatever you had back, it's not going to. You have to remember that you broke up, and that you broke up for a reason. Whatever that reason is, it's probably for the better. The sooner you realize it's never going to go back to the way it was, the sooner you can move on to better things.
  3. It's not Going to make you feel less lonely. It gets very tempting when you're at your lowest in the wee hours of the morning, and you feel this pang of loneliness. You're reliving some of the best memories you've had together in your brain but you know what? You're just going to end up feeling even more lonely because in the end, no matter kind of reply you get, it's not the same, you're not together anymore.
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You're not just going to be tempted to text him once or twice after the break up, in fact, you're probably going to be tempted every single day. It's going to be a continuous struggle of trying to press send and saving it in your draft. You have to tell yourself "no" repeatedly. When you text him, it's like trying to open a window that's locked from the other side. You have to be strong enough to remind yourself that you were happy before him and you could certainly be again after. Love yourself enough to know when to let things go.

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About the author
Julianne Suazo
Candymag.com Correspondent
What makes me a certified Candy girl is my desire and eagerness to present myself as me, but better.
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