For reasons I can’t exactly pinpoint, the people I dated in college are from universities far from mine. Needless to say, I’m not a stranger to long distance relationships. I’ve witnessed the ins and outs of not having the person you love beside you. #TheStruggleIsReal!
Are you going through the same thing? Or are you just generally curious about inter-univ relationships and would like to be prepared if ever you find yourself in the same situation? Here are the struggles of college LDRs along with a few tips to overcome them:
Distance is your number one enemy…
Not to point out the obvious but the number one thing that sets LDRs apart from other types of relationships is the distance. After a long, stressful day in school, it’s normal to find yourself yearning for bae’s hugs but because they’re far away, it’s not exactly possible.
However, you have to remember that just because you’re physically far away doesn’t mean that you also have to be emotionally distant. I know that it’s hard, but for now the only thing you can offer each other is emotional support. Be there for them, in any way that you can. While face-to-face interaction is still super important, the presence of social media eases the struggle of communicating. Try to maximize it and use it to your advantage.
… and time is a close second!
Another inevitable problem that you guys would have to face is feeling as if you simply don’t have time for each other. You’re both preoccupied with school and org duties, and whatever you do, you just can’t get your schedules to match.
To overcome this, make sure that you squeeze in time for your partner. Even just 10 minutes devoted to undivided attention will do—call them up, ask them about their day. Besides, when the day comes that you guys can finally go on a real date—one that doesn’t happen through video call—it just makes your time together feel so much sweeter!
There are things that your partner may never understand.
All universities have their own set of traditions and things that only they could understand. For example, you have to stay in school later than usual to contribute to an org event. Or maybe bae gives more importance to his quizzes than you would have with your own. Whatever it is, it will surely take up time that you could’ve spent bonding with your partner.
With this said, it’s important to communicate and help your partner comprehend why these things matter (and vice versa!). By talking things through, I’m sure your SO will understand why you’re busier than usual. Who knows, they might even find ways to lighten the load and help out!
Sometimes, things just simply won’t go your way.
In LDRs, it’s easy to feel like the universe is intentionally trying to keep you and your partner apart. Dates will get cancelled; you and your SO will have inevitable fights. It can get frustrating and it will be hard, but see these struggles as things that will make your relationship so much stronger.
The ultimate goal is for you guys to survive and get to the other side together. With hard work, determination, and a whole lot of faith and luck, you will get there.
But in case you still didn’t know by now, there are things that are ultimately beyond our control. While there are a lot of inter-university relationships that make it out alive, there are some that are simply not meant to be.
Know in your heart, that even if things didn’t work out the way you thought they would, you did everything in your willpower to try and make it work. If in case things don’t work out, you could still be thankful for the time you shared together and for all the lessons that you have learned because of your relationship.