Guys

What to Do When You Want to Save Your Relationship After Being Cheated On

He cheated, now what?
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Take a break first. Ask yourself if you really want to give him another chance. Most of the time, you'll be haunted by images of him betraying you—taking a breather from him will help you think hard if you want to give it another try. 

Examine the current situation. While you're taking a break, flock your mind with questions to help you decide. Do you honestly think there is anything left worth saving in your relationship? Was he repentful? If the answers are yes, then by all means, take the risk. Also ask how many times has he done this to you—if he has strayed multiple times, maybe you need to re-evaluate.

Make a decision. The first thing to do is make a solid stand whether you want to stay or go. Sure, there would always be trust issues, but if you are firm that you both want things to work out, then keep that in mind every day. It will be difficult at first—arguments about cheating will come up every now and then. But as the saying goes, time can heal wounds. 

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Address the issue and talk to your partner.  List down all the things you want to ask him and discuss the current situation. It will be better if you two talk in a calm matter. Remember, you’re there to understand the reason behind his infidelity, and not to berate him for his actions. If you're really willing to fix your relationship, you'll have to listen before you speak.

Work it out together. It should be a couple effort. If it's only one of you who want to patch things up, your relationship is headed for doomsville. Sex and relationship researcher Kristen Mark PhD says staying together is still possible as long as both parties are willing to work it out. "If a couple can get through an infidelity and restore the trust in the relationship–they can come out the other side a stronger couple," she explains.

Remember that it's a long process. Let's admit it: Moving on from what happened won’t be easy, but you can get through this as long as you’re patient with each other. Some people take a longer time to recover from being cheated on. It could take them weeks, months, and even years!  There will be times that you’ll have flashbacks of the affair, but you have to be stronger than your emotions and focus on saving the relationship. Love is a choice, and you both chose to keep the love alive.

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Have a new perspective. Instead of getting angry for your beau cheating on you, look at it from a different perspective—take it as a chance to get to know your partner on a much deeper level. Janis Abrahms Spring author of After the Affair says it could be an opportunity to rekindle the romance. "Most of us are totally unprepared for what lies ahead in a relationship, and ignorant of what's required to last the course," she writes. "An affair shocks us into reality. Fortunately, it also invites us to try again."

This story originally appeared on Femalenetwork.com.

* Minor edits have been made by the Candymag.com editors.

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Ana C. Pascual for FemaleNetwork.com
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