A breakup is painful as it is, so imagine how much more painful it is when you go through a breakup and process the fact that you've been cheated on along with that. What's painful after knowing someone cheated on you in a relationship isn't the act of cheating itself. That's painful, of course, but even after the relationship has ended and even after your ex apologizes for hurting you so much, there's a stronger kind of pain that lingers after that will make you doubt and question people's intentions.
Getting over and moving on from this type of heartbreak will take every strength left in you. It won't be an easy journey or a short one either but at the end of the road, you have to do it for your own sake. If you've been in this case before or are going through it now, we've listed down five ways to help you move on from it.
Remember that there is nothing wrong with you.
This is how most of us respond after painful breakups—blaming our own selves. You'll surely tell yourself one or all of these statements: "Maybe you didn't love him enough. Maybe you didn't call and text him enough. Maybe you didn't spend as much time with him as you could have. Maybe you weren't enough." The truth is, you are enough. There's nothing wrong with you. It's his mistake because if there was something wrong in your relationship, he should've settled the issue with you and not with somebody else.
Grieve, cry, get mad, talk about him to your friends, throw away all the things he's given you, block him online.
If you need to stay in bed for a few days just to process what happened, do it. If you need to eat ice cream and chips and buckets of popcorn just to make yourself feel better, go for it. Whatever you need to do to get rid of those strong emotions, do it—but please don't harm yourself or anyone while you're at it. Sometimes, you need to do things on your own and even all alone just to ease the pain, and there's nothing wrong with that. Just don't forget to give yourself a deadline on how long you're going to cry over what could have been. Remember that you can't stay miserable forever.
Pamper yourself and enjoy your freedom.
After spending your time crying and staying in your bed, it's about time you treat yourself! Go to a spa, get a full body massage, enroll in a class, start running, get a new haircut, learn to do your own makeup, read more books—enjoy your freedom and do something worthwhile with your time. It's not easy and thoughts about your ex and your breakup will hit you once in a while, but combat those bad vibrations with happy ones instead of spending another day or two feeling sorry for yourself.
Surround yourself with people who love you no matter what.
Spend more time with your family and friends because they will always, always be there for you no matter what. They are the very people who will remind you that you are awesome and that you are enough. They know who you are deep down—your strengths and your weakness—so the fact that they love you because and in spite of all those things will make you believe in the goodness of people slowly again.
Maybe it will take months and even years before this happens, but try and make the choice every day to forgive him and the person he cheated on you with. It's difficult and just the mere mention of his name or their names will still hurt you, but just try. You won't be doing it for him or for the other girl. You will be doing it for yourself—so that someday, one day, you'll be able to leave all the negativity he's given you behind and walk away from him without looking back.
How do you move on? Share your tips in the comments. We always love hearing from you. :)