How To Get That Shy Guy
He's the shy boy you see every day in school or playing basketball in your village park with his friends. You know his name. He may even be your friend. You know where he lives, his friends, his class schedule, and what he likes to do during breaks or after school. You write on each other's wall on Facebook. After watching him for sometime, you've got some things pretty down pat: his porma, his fave food, what cologne he wears.
You think of him 24/7; fill your notebook with his name written in a hundred different colors and styles; screen cap his profile pic and secretly use it as your phone's wallpaper. But before this situation gets out of hand (and you like turns into obsession), find a way to get him. But how exactly do you do that?
Check for Obstacles
He doesn't have a girlfriend and isn't courting anyone at the moment. Think that pretty much covers the obstacles? Wrong. If he's torpe to the max, that makes him shy, extremely shy. If you want him, you will have to be as dedicated as an ant, as cunning as a snake, and as tough as a hawk.
What's His Torpe Style?
No two torpes are alike. Different types call for different approaches. The main thing is to know what your guy likes, then give him what he likes and then some. Show him he doesn't need to be afraid of you. TLC your way to his heart.
- I-don't-know-you-at-all torpe.
You know enough about the guy. He, on the other hand, doesn't know you exist the first thing you should do is make yourself known. Leave a mark that makes a good impression—that'll make it easy for him to get close to you. Say he plays on the basketball team. Watch his games (think front row). Compliment him for that last three-point shot he made. If you know a friend of his, try to get a casual intro with him, smile then hold his gaze for a couple of seconds before looking away.
Once this is done, make small talk. Start by talking hobbies, favorite movies, where he likes to hang out. Then when you've gotten a little closer, slip some subliminal messages into your conversations. But remember that this torpe type is usually super dense. You might have to get straight to the point to help him pick up what you're trying to say. Be really sweet and take away all his doubts. But if you've given your best shot and he still hasn't gotten the hint, he's hopeless. Sorry na lang. Go look for someone else. (If you're smart, pretty, and sweet, contact me through Candy. I have few friends who are available and willing. Hahaha, just kidding!)
- The easy-challenge torpe
He's been there for awhile and you think he likes you. His being a torpe is his only problem. He doesn't know what to do, or where to begin. A lesson in small talk will help work things out. During one of your casual talks, plug in the topic of love and courtship and tell him how easy it can be. Get your point across with specific examples. Say something like "If you like a girl but don't know hot to tell her this is what you should do..." (Too bad if your instincts were wrong and he uses the advice on another girl!) go sweep on him to show you're not going to bite. Show him you're not like other girls who are so hard to understand, but that you're really easy to get along with. Stay simple and just be with him... a lot.
- Your torpe friend.
This is last torpe type is probably the most difficult. He's your buddy and you like him. This gets much harder if he is your best friend. You think he's temporarily blind and he can't see you in any other way at the moment but as a chum. Being the optimistic that you are, you feel all he needs is a little more work and time. And why not? You're simply irresistible! But there is a great risk involved here—there's always the possibility that your friendship will suffer. But if you think you might kick yourself later on in life for not having even tried, then go ahead and take that risk. You never know what might happen.
If he's your friend, all you have to do is add a little spark to the usual things you do! Be sweeter than ever and really show that you like him a lot. You don't have to go out and buy him flowers. Just text him affectionate messages and start talking to him more often. Use your feminine charms. If he still doesn't get you, take the last option—tell him straight. If he still won't take the hint, forget it. Maybe it's his way of saying he'll rather keep the friendship. Or he's gay. Or he's really just way too torpe to deal with love with a great girl like you.
In any of these cases, just stick to the friendship. After all, you know it's his loss.
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"Today, I Won"
I always caught feelings for someone, and hoped so much that one day there could a thing between the two of us. I'm usually the one that makes the effort to buy and/or make cute gifts, chats them every other day, and stays up all night with him.
When I was 16, my childhood crush suddenly came back into my life. We'd constantly send updates to each other, recommend favorite songs and talk even the most random things. He'd even text me as early as 6 to just greet me good morning almost everyday. I hoped so much that when I confessed, he suddenly stopped talking to me.
For short, he ghosted me. Those 6 months I spent talking to him, allotting my time for him, and staying up until 3 am for him - all gone in a simple confession. Although I had a few crushes before him, he's the only one that got me in real pain. It was the kind of pain that I never thought I'd experience. It was the kind of pain that I couldn't believe.
After 7 years (it happened back in 2017), I thought he came back into my life to stay, but I guess he's just one of the guys who distanced. I felt a complete loser that time. But during this quarantine, everything was different. I caught feelings for someone else, but he treated me with the best kindness yet.
It happened at 2 am, May 30, 2020, when I impulsively confessed my feelings through messaging him. After saying my feelings, he responded with genuine and kind words. We both even complimented each other. Although the feelings didn't reciprocate, I still found a connection that can't be replaced with any guy.
To my 16 year old self, here I am, 18 and happy. You may have felt that time was the biggest regret and loss, but I'm here to tell you, we won. Today, I won.
Why our high school barkada is the best?
Remembering our high school years entails quite a lot reminiscing of the things we all been through when we were younger. You’ve experience a lot of new things during those 4 wonderful years and did most of them with the few people you consider your barkada. And through a series of all the lunch breaks you had together, the walks you took on the way home, and taking the same classes, you never thought you’d survive, you have made your life’s greatest friends.
Here are some of the reasons why your high school barkada is the best:
1. You figured out early teenage life together. The transition one have undergone from being a kid to a teenager wasn’t easy. For a moment you are not sure whether you should have played with your friends during recess or you should have just sat down and ate your food because you were too old for games. But whatever it is you chose to do, having friends who were as clueless as you make everything feel easier because you know, deep down, you’d figure things out eventually. You just need good company.
2. They were with you during your “jeje“ days. I bet you have pictures taken with Camera360 and Retrica. You also have pictures edited using Pizap with embarrassing captions and you somehow kept some of them so you could have something to post online during their birthdays.
3. They know all your exes. They will never EVER forget the name of an ex-boyfriend, an ex-fling, an ex-crush, and an almost you had. They will remind you of your every questionable love decision but you’ll just laugh anyway while saying “Past is past”.
4. They never judge you. They have welcomed you to their lives when you thought jelly shoes and checkered polos were the bomb! They were quick to have told your teachers that you were not feeling well so you could go home when you really just needed to poop. You tell them every embarrassing story you have and were fine with it.
5. You can always count on them. From the moment you first fell in love and the moment you first had your heart broken, they were with you. They were with you the moment you lost a parent and at moments when you thought you had nothing. Through every break-up and breakthrough, they were there to be your support system.
6. They are your family. Your high school friend’s family is your own family’s extension. Their parents are like your own. Don’t you feel a little kilig whenever your friend’s parents call you “anak”? And then eventually calling them mama and papa became so natural? I felt that, all the time.
7. They will always be your home. They are your place of refuge and security, the place who offers you their hands when you feel lost and the place you run to when you need saving. No matter how much time and distance separate you, they will be the one’s that you always long for and they are the one’s that you will always return to.
You're gonna bend and break and then at some point in your life, you feel like you don't want to fall in love again.
Not because you're no longer capable of loving but because you're so afraid to get hurt again that you don't want to take a risk anymore. And you're gonna wake up one day and realize that you're not the same person as you were yesterday. The heart aches, heartbreaks, frustration, you'll see, those will transform your whole being into something better.
Honey, move forward. Let go off all the things that are not meant for you. Let go of all the people who hurt you and take you for granted. Don't be stuck feeling miserable.
And don't turn that love into hate when you resent someone for hurting you or for breaking your heart. Just wish them well and let them go. Welcome the possibility of a beautiful love that will come your way. You're worthy of love that you keep on giving to other people. Keep that in mind.
I wish you well and all the happiness. You deserve it.
Here we are — with rough hands entwined, damned hearts at peace, broken souls resting with ease —savoring each passing moment before we part ways...hoping things will turn out to be okay. Here we are — standing still, keeping our earnest desire and ardent passion for each other at bay — hoping the Universe will finally grant us of the day that we no longer have to pretend... that things will no longer have to end.
Here we are — with crooked smiles, lingering touch that will last for a while -- gathering all the remaining courage to set each other free. Wishing for the day that our hearts will no longer have to worry. Here we are letting each other go. Even though we both know that the future is uncertain. Even though we're unsure if our paths will cross once again.