How to Be Intimate with Your Guy If You're Not Ready to Have Sex

Here's how you can be intimate and have a healthy relationship without having sex.
by Pia Dedace   |  Jan 29, 2017
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  1. You and your guy are all alone at his house. He leads you to his bedroom, pulls you over, and starts kissing you passionately. Soon, he is already taking off your shirt.

Think twice: First off, prevent this scenario by inviting other friends over, because isolation breeds temptation. If you choose to bond with your boyfriend alone, why not play sports, watch DVDs, or teach him how to bake your to-die-for brownies instead? If he insists on having sex with you, make the bold move to say no.

Peer advice: "Instead of thinking about sex, divert your time to studying and doing recreational activities. Enjoy being a teen and think before you act!" —Andrea*, 17

  1. You get drunk at a party and the guy you like brings you home. In the car, he says you look hot in that dress. Before you know it, you're making out and he's asking if you want to have sex.


Think twice: You have to admit that it feels good to have your long-time crush heap compliments on you. But ask yourself: "Do I really want this? What will I gain from this? What am I giving up?
Will I still like myself after losing my virginity?" If you think having sex at your age requires such a high price, don't do something you might regret later on.

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Peer advice: "If it cannot be controlled, at least be responsible for your actions. Virginity should be lost, if not after marriage, then at least at a more responsible age. Practice safe and protected sex." —Carlo*, 22

  1. You and your boyfriend celebrate your anniversary and you can't help but discuss whether having sex can make your relationship more special.

Think twice: There is more to a young and budding relationship than the levels of intimacy between you and your guy. Sex and passion are not the only benchmarks of the friendship and commitment you both share.


Peer advice: "Some say sex proves your love for your partner. But for me, sex can't yet be considered a proof of love between young couples." —Annika*, 17

*Names have been changed.

This article was originally published in Candy's January-February 2011 issue.

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Pia Dedace
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