Guys

This is How You Won't Lose Yourself in a Relationship

The right partner makes you the best you that you could ever imagine.
COVER ART Trixie Ison, PHOTO Mark Jesalva, MAKEUP Angie Cruz, Shu Uemura
HAIR Eddiemar Cabiltes, MODELS Arianna Cowper, Niko Rodriguez

 1  Spend some time on your own.

Christina Aguilera GIFvia giphy.com 

Even though being in a relationship means never having to feel alone—or so we've been told—there are just some things you'd much rather do by yourself. This list includes working out, reading a book, or simply enjoying a cup of coffee. Being by yourself allows you to clear your mind and give yourself a sense of who you really are outside of the relationship.

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 2  Make your friends a priority.

New Girl GIFvia giphy.com 

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One of the huge changes that take place when you enter a new relationship is that you start to lose touch with your friends. Your friends are the people who were with you before your relationship and surely will be the ones to be with you even after (we wish that doesn't happen, though). Some will go with pretty much any excuse like being too busy, having too much on their plate, or how it's just never a good time. It should never be that hard to make time for the people you love. Never take your friends for granted just because of a relationship. Trust me, regret always comes last.

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READ5 Apps Couples in a Long Distance Relationship Need on Their Smartphones

 3  Don't give up on your hobbies.

Independent GIFvia giphy.com

Whatever you always do in your spare time—be it painting, yoga, or reading—continue doing it. I'm pretty sure your hobbies are the things you love doing and who says they have to stop? What you enjoy doing and keep doing are a part of you and you don't have to give that up. Just keep doin' you.

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READRelationships and Dating In Every Age

 4  Don't overthink a small thing.

Bridesmaidsvia giphy.com

It's almost too easy to get wrapped up trying to overanalyze tiny details like the time it takes him to reply or who says "I love you" first. The speed of his capability to reply does not dictate the future of your relationship and saying "I love you" first will not in fact kill you. Don't make a fuss out of these itty bitty details that absolutely have no bearing on your relationship. Not only will it drive you insane, but it's also a waste of your time.

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 5  Never lose track of what's important.

Marion Cotillard GIFvia giphy.com

Whenever we're in a relationship, it's always good to remember that you're still your own person and that your relationship should never take that away from you. You're still you, with or without him and thinking otherwise will not only burden you, but will also end up destroying you if you let it. I think that the most important thing to keep in mind is that the right partner will not make you any less you. The right partner does not make you lose sight of who you really are. The right partner makes you the best you that you could ever imagine.

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READThe Changes You Have To Deal With After Ending a Long Term Relationship

Got guy troubles you want us to help you with? Let us know in the comments or tweet us via @candymagdotcom. We always love hearing from you. :)

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About the author
Julianne Suazo
Candymag.com Correspondent
What makes me a certified Candy girl is my desire and eagerness to present myself as me, but better.
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When everything around you suddenly turns dark, the first thing we'd prolly do, as humans, is to find and grab anything that is closest and nearest to us. We'll hold onto them for as long as we can, trying to collect ourselves and gather courage to adjust our eyesights to the pitch black environment that's consuming us minute by minute. And then you'd hear nothing. Your sense of hearing would somehow go off after not seeing anything for quite awhile. You'll let loose. Cry. Panic. You'll be exhausted for fighting your way out. Then just when you're about to stop and give up, you're no longer afraid. There's only this deafening silence and pithole of darkness that's gonna eat you up alive. And surprisingly, you'll make a home out of it.

You'll make a home out of the darkness that when a ray of light suddenly hits you, you'll try to avoid it. You'll try to cover your eyes. You'll try to cover your ears from the voices trying to help you get out of it. You'll try to hide because your mind and body will go against your will to come out and live. Because the darkness that used to scare you, now comforts you in a way you thought has helped you survived life. And you'll try to live. Day by day. In the darkness. Not knowing where to go. Not knowing where to start. Not knowing who is with you. You will try to live until the darkness that once surrounds you is now within you. And everyday, it's gonna be a cycle of subtle torture. But let me tell you a secret. The darkness won't make you whole.

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You'll be broken. And in those hair-like cracks, the light will stubbornly fight its way through until it warms you up. Until you realize to check the switch and turn it on. Until you allow other people to help you find your way back in the light. Until you realize you're ready to live in light again. There's a light at the end of this long and dreading tunnel. The only question that matters: will you let them in?

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