How Couples in a Mature Relationship Deal with Arguments

You can totally argue in a calm manner, Candy Girls!
by Ayessa De La Peña   |  Sep 7, 2016
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If you think relationships are easy, then you're in for some realizations. Your first few months as a couple may be all rainbows and butterflies, but once you finally settle in to the idea that you also have to love each other's quirks and flaws, you'll realize there's more to a relationship than all the sweet parts.

It won't always be a bright, sunny day with your bae, so you have to be ready for those rough times, too. We found a very helpful article on Verily about arguing in a healthy way and we thought we should share the tips with you, too, so you can argue and disagree in a calm, healthy, and mature way. Good luck, Candy Girls!

1. Know how to argue properly.

What you have to remember when you're arguing with your bae: avoid "criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling". It's okay to argue and discuss your problems, but you have to do everything with love—gently, warmly—so you don't regret the things you say and end up making the problem even worse.


2. Know how to apologize when your temper gets the best of you.

There are really moments when you won't be able to hold yourself together and your anger in. When times like that happen, apologize and do it right away. 

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3. Don't be afraid to ask for a few moments of silence.

If you think that a few minutes of silence would be good for you so you can think things over, don't be afraid to ask your bae for that. Go for a drive, breathe in and breathe out for a few minutes, or do something that will help you relax so you can compose yourself and address your argument better.

4. Remember that your bae is not the problem.

Avoid blaming him for your fight. Instead of telling him what he did or did not do, externalize your problems. This will save you from pointing fingers and making your bae feel like he's not living up to your expectations. 


5. Don't forget to address the argument as a couple.

Whatever happens, go through it together. Don't leave your bae alone to figure out how to address the issue because you're in the relationship together. Tell him how you're willing to adjust and work on it instead of imposing on the things he's supposed to do next time.

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About the author
Ayessa De La Peña Assistant Section Editor
I am's resident fangirl and ~*feelings*~ girl. When I'm not busy researching about what to write next on the website, I sleep, read books, and re-watch episodes of Friends.
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