Here's Why You Don't Really Need a Boyfriend in College
College is where the stress of entering a relationship rises to the point that it's too much. Yeah, it seems like in high school you had it worse with friends who think they're old enough to know everything about relationships. Questions like "Are you dating anyone?" and "Why aren't you dating yet?" keeps popping like a mushroom, and believe me that will continue in college. Hello, social pressure!
Almost every millennial sees it like this: college girls are old enough to party, mingle, and date. It's like almost every girl around you has a boyfriend. When you go to the cafeteria, gymnasium, or even your classroom, someone is definitely dating someone. There's nothing wrong in entering a relationship, you deserve to love and be loved by someone, but if you only want to be in a relationship because your girl friends said so, then that's where we have a problem.
There is nothing wrong with you in case you choose to be single in college, and here's us telling you things you need to know for you to not get caught up in those #RelationshipGoals in college.
- You will learn to love yourself.
In college, having a mental breakdown is quite normal with all of those deadlines and uncooperative groupmates you're experiencing. When you're alone in your bed, with your feelings all over the place, you can just call your guy and he'll be right there to comfort you. But when there's no guy to stay around, what are you going to do?
Well, the only person who can help you is yourself because out of all the people you are with, you know yourself better than anyone else. Learn to spend time with yourself and wait until you're ready before you enter a relationship.
Give all the loving you plan to give your guy to yourself first rather than to someone else; you deserve that kind of loving, too.ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW
- You will save more money.
Let's be real, money is one of the biggest problems you can possibly have in college with those expenses for your tuition fee, textbooks, group projects, and drafts for all your papers. You'll be needing enough money to support yourself. You have to learn to save money, and it will be hard if all you do with your man is eat and shop all day... until your wallet screams for you to stop already
Sometimes you even have to take on extra jobs to pay your dorm rent and daily expenses. If your guy is conscious about finances like you, that's good. But what if he's not?
Dating is not just all about spending time together. You also have to think of your other priorities first.
- You can avoid the distraction.
Dating in college can be the best or the worst that could happen to you. In college, your first priority should be your studies because that's your final step to get the degree you need to achieve your goals. And sometimes, some boyfriends just don't like it when you don't give them the attention they want.
Your boyfriend should be an inspiration rather than a distraction, but it doesn't mean you are required to have one just to feel inspired.
You and your man should know what your priorities are. If you two aren't on the same page then there can be chaos. Your boyfriend should be an inspiration rather than a distraction, but it doesn't mean you are required to have one just to feel inspired. Be inspired with your surroundings, with your family and friends, with yourself because no one knows what the future holds. College requires time management; dating requires that, too.
College may seem like the first step in adult life but it's not. It's just a preparation. Don't be in a hurry to grow up because everything takes time—including you having a boyfriend. College has a lot of opportunities and changes in store for you and that can be a good thing! Don't let anyone and anything hold you back. Try new things, meet new people, engage in school activities, and go on adventures while you're still young.
You won't be young and alone forever, cherish this time while you're at it.
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The most thrilling and delightful moment of any school day is opening up your baon during breaks. There is always so much excitement in unveiling your homemade meal and snacks housed inside matching heat-insulating containers. Because preparing packed meals is an age-old tradition of showing parental love, loved ones pour effort into curating a nutritious meal accompanied by a selection of side dishes, desserts, and beverages daily; it reminds us that we are being taken care of, even from far away.
Baon plays a significant role in a Filipino childhood. Almost every Filipino child comes to school with baon made especially for them by their parents or household helpers. Even Filipinos in the labor force continue to bring baon for varying reasons: to save money, recycle leftovers, cater to personal taste, or attend to special needs. Nonetheless, eating your baon is a heart-warming experience that allows Filipinos to bring a piece of home along with them wherever they go.
Even other cultures practice making packed lunch. In Japan, mothers create bento--Japanese meals in partitioned boxes. Because of the popularity of bento, trends have emerged, such as the Kyaraben, or character-themed bento. Naturally, Japanese parents and students began competing for who had the cutest and tastiest bento, and this is similar to what I have witnessed in my own childhood. I remember seeing my classmates sharing their snacks and lunches. They would compare and boast about their parents' or yayas’ cooking. In my case, I never had the chance to join in the competition or indulge in homemade cooking. Up until this day, I have never brought any baon to school.
For a long time, I envied others. As trivial or petty as it may seem, not having baon became a problem for my grade school self. During that time, I had to sit in a separate cafeteria away from my friends because the kids who bought food were assigned to sit elsewhere. You could consider me spoiled, but I wanted to experience something most kids did. I had food at home, so what made it so hard to bring some with me to school?
Now that I am on my final year in high school I have come to realize the benefits of purchasing my own food. Since I spent on food everyday, I learned to budget my allowance at a young age. Over the years, I learned to practice self-control whenever I wanted to eat more greasy fries and drink sweetened beverages. I have tasted the strangest viands at the school cafeterias, and I have repeatedly satiated myself over my latest delicious discoveries. Despite the struggles, I am thankful that I have never had baon because of what I have learned. Not to mention, I never had to experience eating cold food.
Literally to begin with, I am writing with little shaky hands because this is the last time I went for a vacation like most of us must have and can’t plan any for now. The coronavirus outbreak has compelled us to stay at home for our safety and others in the vicinity.
I remember how I penned down my year 2020 to be the most remarkable year of my life in the hope of doing everything I desired for a long time and overcoming few obstacles. Whilst planning things ahead, I forgot to truly value all of things in the present.
I remember being chipper and grateful for my last summer vacation but now I feel I should’ve valued each and every moment. Considering the current gnarly situation, I want each one us to motivate ourselves to look for a positive side and to make the most of our time no matter the situation.
Make a promise to yourself that you won’t give up in these circumstances and reckon that there are a lot of good things for us in the store. We’ll have the most amazing season of our life post pandemic. Let’s accept for the change and become the change. Propagate love and only love.
Danielle Flestado @artdkf.ph | June 19, 2020
"While I was reading my devotional book yesterday, this part hit me: rejoicing together is more difficult to do than grieving with each other. And so, I thought of reminding myself that I should be happy for the success of others. After all, we are part of one family and every one of us is striving to accomplish our own goals in this world. Let us be happy for each other."
Choosing between dreams and practicality is never easy. My CETs season just ended with the release of the UPCAT results. Anxious as I logged on the website, I started to think about what would happen if I didn't pass UP. Ever since I was six years old, I fixated on the idea that I will become an iska, serving the country and studying at my dream school, which is UP. I strived and studied hard for the UPCAT, sacrificing a lot of things like hang-outs and gala weekends for reviews.
Throughout my CETs journey, I started seeing myself studying only in UP, and while there were no results yet, my friends and I already started planning our lives around the fact that we're gonna study in UP. It was a big deal for me, my friends and my family that I get the chance to study in UP since it's so far from my hometown which is Benguet, and better yet, it's a very well known university.
January 2020 came and universities started releasing CETs results. I was expecting my DCAT and ACET results that month. I passed DCAT but brushed it off because even though I liked the school, I never really saw myself studying there. Same thoughts with Ateneo, since it never really crossed my mind that I might study in ADMU. In fact, Ateneo was never really a choice for me, I only took it just to have another choice in case I failed the UPCAT. I also applied for financial aid not because I was really planning on studying there, but more of "para lang sure na may college ako". I know it's a bad thing but they were just my back-up schools because my main goal was really UP.
One Friday afternoon, ACET results came out. I passed, managed to get a scholarship, and in that moment, my plans just started to crumble.
Seeing that I got a 100% tuition and fees discount, free dorm fees, and an additional book allowance got me into considering studying to Ateneo. Suddenly, I got torn between UP, my dream school, and Ateneo, which offers so much more.
As the months passed, and after talking to my parents, my plans and decisions got more jumbled and messy. I still wanted to go to UP even if there were no results yet but Ateneo offering so much would mean a lesser burden to my parents in terms of finances.
Even though my parents told me that they'll support me no matter where I choose to go, the practicality that Ateneo offers in terms of finances was not an easy thing to waive. Sometimes I would laugh at the fact that I'd spend less on a private school than on a state university. Talking to my friends helped somehow, but they also have various opinions about the two universities. I managed to tell myself to hold off the problem until UPCAT results get released, and so I did.
UP released the UPCAT results and seeing that I passed made me scream and cry, literally. At that moment, all I was thinking was that I passed my dream school and I'm officially a QC college student.
My parents were so proud of me even though they got scared because I screamed, but ultimately, they were happy for me. The next day, I sat down, stared at my UPCAT and ACET results, and told myself that I needed to decide. This was the hardest part. I tried deciding using the pros and cons method but it didn't really work. Talking to my parents also didn't help because they'd support me either way, so their judgement was not a factor at all. I also had the same course in both schools so that wasn't a big help. I was 99% close to letting go of my dream university and decide to go to Ateneo.
I weighed options and Ateneo was the cheaper and more practical option. I also started to see myself studying as a blue eagle, roaming around the campus etc. And financially, I didn't need to worry much except for food. At that point, I started to really like the idea of going to Ateneo more than studying in UP. But then, as the weeks went by, the Ateneo Plan started to lose my interest.
I realized that studying in Ateneo would be a great opportunity, but not something that will really make me happy. The finances and all would be so much better but I wouldn't be happy and content, and I felt that Ateneo couldn't give me everything that I wanted and needed. Then a light bulb lit up.
As I was imagining myself at UP, I ultimately felt that happiness and content that I didn't feel with Ateneo. I realized that, if I didn't study in UP, I know later in my life, I would regret it. I would regret not choosing my dream university because I didn't choose what would make me happy.
In short, I chose my dream over practicality. I know that I would be successful in both tracks, but I simply chose my dream because it is where I'm happier and more content. Besides, we can make our dreams practical but not all the time can the practical choice equate to our dreams. So to those having a hard time choosing between dreams and practicality, weigh it out and always remember to put yourself and your happiness first. And of course, choose the choice that you know you'll not regret later on.