Guys

Here's Why Staying Friends With Your Ex Is the Worst Idea After a Breakup

Cut the ties for now, Candy Girls.
ART Trixie Ison PHOTO Magnolia Pictures

There are tons of articles that's been telling us that staying friends with your ex can be a good idea, but here's why it might be good to also choose not to stay in touch with them. 

Sure, there are certain incidents where staying in a platonic relationship with your ex is a good idea—maybe you've been best friends before you started dating or are part of the same barkada. However, therapist and author of Temptations of the Single Girl Nina Atwood says that this friendly sitch with your ex might make moving on more difficult for you. (via YourTango.com)

"Wanting to be friends keeps you from feeling the full depth of the loss, softening the blow of the breakup," she explained. "You may feel that this person knows you better than anyone else. Even if you're not sexually attracted, you may still want the emotional intimacy that you shared."

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And isn't that true to some extent? We won't feel the magnitude of the breakup because he's still present in our lives. We can still message our exes, ask him about his day, tell him things that we won't dare tell anyone—basically, it's like getting all the relationship benefits without the exclusivity of being in a relationship. We think we're okay until, well, he finds someone new which sends us into another rollercoaster of emotions and into another breakdown.

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Even staying friends with your ex on Facebook isn't a good idea, too. Remember when we talked about why you should stop stalking your ex on social media over here? That's close to this good reason why you should just unfriend them on social media. Keeping up to date with how they're living their lives without you will hurt you more and give you anxiety. 

Bottom line is to take a break from the sight and sound of your ex after the breakup. Sure, it's good to be in good terms after you both hurt each other, but maybe you have to be totally okay first and allow the romantic feelings to die down before doing so.

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Got relationship troubles you want us to talk about? Let us know in the comments. We always love hearing from you. :)

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About the author
Ayessa De La Peña
Candymag.com Assistant Section Editor
I am Candymag.com's resident fangirl and ~*feelings*~ girl. When I'm not busy researching about what to write next on the website, I sleep, read books, and re-watch episodes of Friends.
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PRIMO.

First. Pixie dust and paper cuts – these are the first things Wendy knew about Peter Pan. Aurora first met Prince Philip when she was sixteen. Learning how to ride a bike was also a first while I was growing up, but you are probably the first of too many. The first collection of dust and stars; maybe Luna will try to ask, who was your first? I might answer and tell her that it was you.

The first of too many stars in the sky. You are the first of too many fallen leaves during fall – and you will be the most anticipated snowflake as winter comes. A dark path that you can’t see without any light, hence, you were once the moon and there are the stars that shine so bright at night. Are we too early? Or we just really want to be ahead of time? Even in a glimpse, I would like to see the two of us connect as if we can reach the sky. There are other parts of the heavens you have never saw and other oceans you haven’t laid your feet onto – but the constellations will always wait for you. Close your eyes, love, close your eyes. Start counting backward: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Count backward until you see the twinkling lights that will guide you to the right path. To the right satellite; to the right person. A first.

There are many firsts – first love, first heartbreak, first sport you played, the first thing you do in the morning, the first thing you remember about the person in front of you. There are a lot. It’s actually up to us how we will consider something as a first. So, Primo, you are already a first of too many.

Bea Alamis 2 days ago
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