Here's Why Staying Friends With Your Ex Is the Worst Idea After a Breakup
There are tons of articles that's been telling us that staying friends with your ex can be a good idea, but here's why it might be good to also choose not to stay in touch with them.
Sure, there are certain incidents where staying in a platonic relationship with your ex is a good idea—maybe you've been best friends before you started dating or are part of the same barkada. However, therapist and author of Temptations of the Single Girl Nina Atwood says that this friendly sitch with your ex might make moving on more difficult for you. (via YourTango.com)
"Wanting to be friends keeps you from feeling the full depth of the loss, softening the blow of the breakup," she explained. "You may feel that this person knows you better than anyone else. Even if you're not sexually attracted, you may still want the emotional intimacy that you shared."
And isn't that true to some extent? We won't feel the magnitude of the breakup because he's still present in our lives. We can still message our exes, ask him about his day, tell him things that we won't dare tell anyone—basically, it's like getting all the relationship benefits without the exclusivity of being in a relationship. We think we're okay until, well, he finds someone new which sends us into another rollercoaster of emotions and into another breakdown.
Even staying friends with your ex on Facebook isn't a good idea, too. Remember when we talked about why you should stop stalking your ex on social media over here? That's close to this good reason why you should just unfriend them on social media. Keeping up to date with how they're living their lives without you will hurt you more and give you anxiety.
Bottom line is to take a break from the sight and sound of your ex after the breakup. Sure, it's good to be in good terms after you both hurt each other, but maybe you have to be totally okay first and allow the romantic feelings to die down before doing so.
Got relationship troubles you want us to talk about? Let us know in the comments. We always love hearing from you. :)
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I've been investing in arts, photography, and writing. I've also got back to reading the other day and I finished reading this amazing book entitled 300 Things I Hope by Iain S. Thomas. It is all about the things the author hopes his readers to do in all aspects of life. So, I decided to make a version of it with all of the things I'm hoping for.
I hope I get to see my friends be successful in life. I hope to make a big mural someday. I hope to be a well-known artist like the artists I look up to. I hope to marry the person I am in love with today. I hope to be a little kinder to myself. I hope to see happiness even in the smallest things. I hope to travel the world. I hope to be a good mother and a wife to my future family. I hope to have my artworks displayed in a gallery or an exhibit. I hope to learn more about creative writing. I hope I won't learn how to get tired and give up my passion. I hope I won't get too hard on myself whenever I don't get the results I've been wanting to see in my works. I hope to love myself more even on the days I hate it the most. I hope to lead and empower women; to be their voice and for them to believe in themselves that they can be the woman they look up to. And when I've reached my limit of these things, I hope I won't get tired of reminding myself that my emotions don't make me weak, hence, makes me stronger. These are some of the things I always hope for. What about you? What are you hoping for?
I started fixing myself this quarantine. I mean, I started trying makeup products. As a teen, I'm on my phone almost every hour of the day, scroll on my social media accounts, especially Instagram, and also Pinterest where you get to see nice and pleasing photography by bunch of amazing and beautiful people from different parts of the world. So I started taking my own as well. I did not know that taking your own photo and try to get an Instagramable one is sooooooooo hard, it's exhausting. I do not have alot of space in my room, and I would definitely not do it outside our house because of Corona Virus, and I don't want to be seen by our neighbors HAHA so I have no choice but to make tiis inside my room.
Out of atleast 25 shots, only 2 are a nice picture. While I'm all sweaty and tired, I am proud of what I could do beyond my comfort zone. And this definitely built my self confidence, (and I secret love the compliments I received from both people I know and don't know) It's not my first time visiting in here, Candy! But I'm new to writing my thoughts and experiences, so bare with me HAHA.
Until next time!
First. Pixie dust and paper cuts – these are the first things Wendy knew about Peter Pan. Aurora first met Prince Philip when she was sixteen. Learning how to ride a bike was also a first while I was growing up, but you are probably the first of too many. The first collection of dust and stars; maybe Luna will try to ask, who was your first? I might answer and tell her that it was you.
The first of too many stars in the sky. You are the first of too many fallen leaves during fall – and you will be the most anticipated snowflake as winter comes. A dark path that you can’t see without any light, hence, you were once the moon and there are the stars that shine so bright at night. Are we too early? Or we just really want to be ahead of time? Even in a glimpse, I would like to see the two of us connect as if we can reach the sky. There are other parts of the heavens you have never saw and other oceans you haven’t laid your feet onto – but the constellations will always wait for you. Close your eyes, love, close your eyes. Start counting backward: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Count backward until you see the twinkling lights that will guide you to the right path. To the right satellite; to the right person. A first.
There are many firsts – first love, first heartbreak, first sport you played, the first thing you do in the morning, the first thing you remember about the person in front of you. There are a lot. It’s actually up to us how we will consider something as a first. So, Primo, you are already a first of too many.