Here's What You Need to Know Before the First Time You Have Sex
There is always a first time for everything—and when it comes to the first time you have sex, it isn't something you do and just get over with. You have to prepare for it mentally, physically, and emotionally because it can and will change your life. Yes, it may leave you feeling empowered and more of a woman but you have to take precautions. Here are some important things to consider before you even decide to give up your "V-card."
If possible, get tested first—both of you.
It may be your first time to have sex, but what about your partner? If your partner has been sexually active in the past and may have had unprotected sex, it's vital to go to a doctor; you wouldn't want to risk getting a disease or infection, right?
It may be a little uncomfortable.
Most girls have a misconception of experiencing intense agony when they do it for the first time but according to a therapist, that's a myth. "If it's the first time having intercourse and the hymen is still intact, it might feel like a little pinch, but it shouldn't be very painful," says Reena Liberman, MS, a private practice sex therapist in Ann Arbor, Michigan.
This is why lubrication is important. If you're still dry down there and he starts to enter, it could be painful because of the friction. Wait for your vagina to be ready and if it's taking a long time, use lubricants.
Not everyone bleeds.
There's always been a notion that virgins who do it for the first time bleed because their hymen is ripped but experts say that's not solely the reason as "rushed, non-sensual, poorly lubricated, piston-like intercourse might abrade sensitive vaginal tissue enough to cause bleeding." If you want to avoid bloody sheets, do it slowly, move at your own pace, and enjoy the moment.
It can bring you two closer.
After doing the deed, you may find it weird and awkward to talk to your bae. But as days go by, you'll realize that it actually brought you two closer than ever. But if you had sex for the first time with someone who isn't your boyfriend (or worst, someone who has no intention of being in a relationship), you have to be prepared for the worst, emotionally.
Once you've had an intimate moment together, this could lead to a lot of things such as attachment—so if you plan to lose your virginity to someone you're not involved with, tread carefully and keep your feelings intact.
Aside from not wanting to get infected with any kind of disease, condoms may also prevent unwanted pregnancies! If you're going to be sexually active, it'll be better to take the pill since contraceptives such as condoms don't give you 100% assurance that you won't conceive. Remember, it's better to be safe than sorry.
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I've been investing in arts, photography, and writing. I've also got back to reading the other day and I finished reading this amazing book entitled 300 Things I Hope by Iain S. Thomas. It is all about the things the author hopes his readers to do in all aspects of life. So, I decided to make a version of it with all of the things I'm hoping for.
I hope I get to see my friends be successful in life. I hope to make a big mural someday. I hope to be a well-known artist like the artists I look up to. I hope to marry the person I am in love with today. I hope to be a little kinder to myself. I hope to see happiness even in the smallest things. I hope to travel the world. I hope to be a good mother and a wife to my future family. I hope to have my artworks displayed in a gallery or an exhibit. I hope to learn more about creative writing. I hope I won't learn how to get tired and give up my passion. I hope I won't get too hard on myself whenever I don't get the results I've been wanting to see in my works. I hope to love myself more even on the days I hate it the most. I hope to lead and empower women; to be their voice and for them to believe in themselves that they can be the woman they look up to. And when I've reached my limit of these things, I hope I won't get tired of reminding myself that my emotions don't make me weak, hence, makes me stronger. These are some of the things I always hope for. What about you? What are you hoping for?
I started fixing myself this quarantine. I mean, I started trying makeup products. As a teen, I'm on my phone almost every hour of the day, scroll on my social media accounts, especially Instagram, and also Pinterest where you get to see nice and pleasing photography by bunch of amazing and beautiful people from different parts of the world. So I started taking my own as well. I did not know that taking your own photo and try to get an Instagramable one is sooooooooo hard, it's exhausting. I do not have alot of space in my room, and I would definitely not do it outside our house because of Corona Virus, and I don't want to be seen by our neighbors HAHA so I have no choice but to make tiis inside my room.
Out of atleast 25 shots, only 2 are a nice picture. While I'm all sweaty and tired, I am proud of what I could do beyond my comfort zone. And this definitely built my self confidence, (and I secret love the compliments I received from both people I know and don't know) It's not my first time visiting in here, Candy! But I'm new to writing my thoughts and experiences, so bare with me HAHA.
Until next time!
First. Pixie dust and paper cuts – these are the first things Wendy knew about Peter Pan. Aurora first met Prince Philip when she was sixteen. Learning how to ride a bike was also a first while I was growing up, but you are probably the first of too many. The first collection of dust and stars; maybe Luna will try to ask, who was your first? I might answer and tell her that it was you.
The first of too many stars in the sky. You are the first of too many fallen leaves during fall – and you will be the most anticipated snowflake as winter comes. A dark path that you can’t see without any light, hence, you were once the moon and there are the stars that shine so bright at night. Are we too early? Or we just really want to be ahead of time? Even in a glimpse, I would like to see the two of us connect as if we can reach the sky. There are other parts of the heavens you have never saw and other oceans you haven’t laid your feet onto – but the constellations will always wait for you. Close your eyes, love, close your eyes. Start counting backward: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Count backward until you see the twinkling lights that will guide you to the right path. To the right satellite; to the right person. A first.
There are many firsts – first love, first heartbreak, first sport you played, the first thing you do in the morning, the first thing you remember about the person in front of you. There are a lot. It’s actually up to us how we will consider something as a first. So, Primo, you are already a first of too many.