Lads don't tell lies—we bend the truth a little, and when dealing with gals, it's the fine line between truth and half-truth that often saves our skins. In other words, lies are the ultimate palusot. We dissect five of the best lines guys pull out of their deceptive little sleeves—it's guaranteed that you'll be hearing them at least once in your life.
- "Wow. That dress looks fantastic on you!"
Lie Detector: totally faked excitement, over-enthusiastic eyes, vigorous nodding
When You'll Hear It: Every time you whip out a brand-new outfit. You'll probably hear it a lot if you take him shopping with you. To catch him in the act, try on the most hideous combination of clothes on purpose, just to see if he's paying attention.
Why We Lie: This line has become our automatic defense reaction against girls' fickle, sensitive fasyon-ability. We've learned (painfully) that being less than enthusiastic about a carefully-pieced ensemble is the surest way to get into a fight. Better to just say that everything she wears looks great-even if it's a fashion disaster just waiting to happen.
Could Be True: If you've thrown together a really knockout piece, then that dropped jaw and those popping eyes might just mean you've really hit a grand-slam... or you might be revealing a bit more skin than you should be.
- "I tried calling you, but I ran out of load."
Lie Detector: earnest pleading, pa-innocent look
When You'll Hear It: There are dozens of variations to this little white lie, depending on the guy's sticky situation. He usually pulls this one out of his sleeve when he just promised you something but completely forgot about it. Now the slippery snake's trying to get away with a sly little excuse.
Why We Lie: Rather than admit we flubbed up big time, we immediately try to cover our tracks and try to wriggle out of a potential quarrel. Of course, by the time it occurs to us that being caught lying is worse than admitting we're wrong, it's already too late-you're stringing up the ropes to hang us.
Could Be True: If he admits he's made a mistake even before you catch him, he's not just honest—he's pretty all right, too! Any guy who can swallow humble pie and admit he's wrong is sure to be a keeper.
- "Who, her? Oh, she's just a friend."
Lie Detector: forced indifference, forced laugh, forced innocent look
When You'll Hear It: When you suspect that he's hanging out a bit too much with that "pretty" groupmate of his, and you confront him about it.
Why We Lie: Aww, do you even have to ask why? She's pretty and we have a sort-of crush on her and we don't want you to know! Best case scenario is that you've caught us right at the beginning of the little crush and, feeling guilty, we resolve to give it up and root it out. Worst case scenario? We're already cheating on you with her.
Could Be True: It really depends on how much you trust your guy, right? If there's true love and true trust, then please, take his word. Unfounded suspicion and jealousy could do as much damage to a relationship as actual infidelity.
- "I'm on my way! I ran into traffic, but I'll be there in 10 minutes!"
Lie Detector: pure panic, 10 minutes become 15... then 30
When You'll Hear It: When he's hopelessly late for your date and you know it. When he calls or texts you this, he's probably still taking a bath.
Why We Lie: By telling you we're 10 (sometimes we'll say 15, but never more than that) minutes away, we extend the deadline, so to speak, and all proceeding lateness is judged accordingly. For example, if our date is at 8:00 pm, and we tell you we're 10 minutes away-when we actually arrive at 8:30 pm, we'll only be really 20 minutes late... right?
Could Be True: If your guy is really just 10 minutes away, then of course he's telling the truth. He's still going to be late, though, and he still deserves to be roasted over a slow fire tonight.
- "Yeah, I once did a 360º-windmill dunk while parasailing down Mount Everest."
Lie Detector: extreme self-confidence, faked nonchalance
When You'll Hear It: When a guy's trying to make a good first impression, he's going to exaggerate his achievements a little as a way to impress. Our example may be a bit over-the-top, but you know how it goes: A bench position in the varsity team suddenly becomes point guard... one trip to Pagudpud turns into three... a beat-up old Lancer becomes a brand-new Accord...
Why We Lie: It's a dog-eat-dog world out there, and kuwentong barbero, fabricated as they may be, only give us the competitive advantage we need to impress you over that lousy, overachieving git from the honors section.
Could Be True: If this guy isn't insecure (or is really an overachieving git), he's probably telling the truth. Fact-check his stories with mutual acquaintances for the real deal.
Watch out for these sure signs he's not being completely honest.
- He can't look you in the eye. Telling a lie is extremely uncomfortable, and he won't be able to hold your gaze for long.
- He fidgets too much. He tries to assume a too-relaxed position, and ends up crossing his legs left and right, or clenching and unclenching his fists.
- He tries to change the subject. The sooner he can get away from his lie, the better—so he'll try to divert the conversation.