Being Your Boyfriend's Friend

The instruction manual to being your BF's BFF!
by Lio Mangubat   |  Feb 8, 2010
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When you made the breathtaking leap from friend to girlfriend, did "friend" suddenly drop out of the equation? Being his pal may have taken a backseat to being his girl, but trust us—being each other's best buds is one of the best things about being in a relationship. Here's the road map to making this happen!

Three Essential Steps to Jumpstart the Friendship

STOP

Take a break from the kilig moments for a second (hey, we never said this was going to be a walk in the park!) and ask yourself: do you really know your guy? Yeah, we're sure you know all about those intense eyes and the sweet "good night" text messages—but what about everything else in between that makes him tick? Take a minute off girlfriend mode and look at your guy as, well, a guy. You'll never really know a person if you only see him through the rose-colored glasses of romance.

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What To Do: Grab a pen, paper, and a healthy supply of flashbacks. List down your guy's favorite things. Make sure to skip the schmaltzy, girlfriend-y stuff like "Best Senti Spot" and move on to the killers like "NBA Underdog to Root For," "Fave Facebook App," or "Fave Banyo Rock Song." There'll be a lot of blanks, but take heart: we'd have more if you asked us to list down your favorites.

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LOOK

Now that you're out of your lovey-dovey mode, it's time to get to work! Of course, you can go right up to him and start grilling him about his interests, but he'd probably just shrivel up into a crisp. Guys just aren't built to handle that kind of introspection. But it's okay: the legwork is half the fun. Start observing his habits and interests every time you're together. Find out what lights up his eyes and catches his gaze. (It better not be other girls, or he'll be sorry he ever met you!)

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What To Do: The next time you're together at the mall (brace yourself*), put the upcoming shoe sale out of your head. Yes—put it out of your head! Focus on your boyfriend. What's worth a second look to him? Is it the arcade? The sports shop? The comic book store? Practice doing this whenever you're together and you'll start having a better idea of his interests.

LISTEN

Like any other friendship, the key to being your guy's bud is to listen. Okay, okay, we don't talk a whole lot-but that just makes your job easier! Don't expect sensitive, heart-to-heart girly talk, at least not all the time. There is a core of sincerity underneath the jibber-jabber-guess-what-pare blather* you just need to be really, really patient.

What To Do: The next time he starts raving about the Audi TT's 2.0L Turbo FSI, resist the temptation to go, "Uh, whaaat?" What he just said might as well be a foreign language, but at least acknowledge the excitement behind it. While he may not make much sense at times, focusing on the meaning and emotion behind his words will make you a better listener for even the most obscure guy topics.

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Lio Mangubat
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