Guys

Help—How Do I Tell My Friends I'm Back With My Ex?

If it's something you've meticulously mulled over and thought long and hard about, then you're not marupok because of it.
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So, you and your ex reconnected and you plan to get back together with them. Hey, it happens, and if it’s something you’ve meticulously mulled over and thought long and hard about, then you’re not marupok because of it. Getting back together with an ex is uncharted territory for many and would naturally feel daunting, but it doesn’t seem quite as scary as finding out how your barkada would react to the news. Nonetheless, they’ll know about it eventually, so you might as well get it done with ASAP. Here are some things to note before spilling your relationship tea to friends.

Before telling your friends, ask yourself if this is a decision you won’t regret.

If your barkada absolutely hates your ex, there must be a sound reason behind it. For starters, take into consideration why you two broke up: Were they abusive in the relationship? Was it because they were never supportive of you?

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If there’s a possibility that your ex hasn’t really learned from their mistakes, maybe you should reconsider your decision altogether. If your breakup was just a case of wrong timing, then perhaps a second chance to make things work wouldn’t hurt.

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It’s best to break the news during a face-to-face convo.

The digital era allows us the privilege of communicating with one another from literally anywhere in the world. That said, this is the kind of news that’s best said in person instead of through text or DM, especially if you’re anticipating negative reactions from friends. Face-to-face conversations give you fewer chances for misinterpretation, and as much as possible, you’d want the people closest to you to understand your choice.

Be realistic with your reason so your friends won’t have a hard time accepting it.

You might be telling the truth when you confess to your friends that, “Wala e, mahal ko pa siya,” but there’s a high chance that they might not see this as enough of a reason to take your ex back. And while it’s true that you’re not obligated to explain yourself, your friends—who have lent a shoulder to cry on every time your ex broke your heart—at least deserve to be reassured that you’re not just setting yourself up to get hurt again. 

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Do you feel that you and your ex have both grown as individuals after spending some time apart and are now ready to give each other a second chance? In that case, maybe telling your friends this might help them get a better grasp of your situation instead.

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Expect negative reactions from your friends and be ready to take the brunt.

Your circle of friends might not initially see this as something to celebrate, so prepare your heart for their sad or angry reax. 

Regardless of how your friends respond to your relationship update, however, the final verdict is yours to make, so calmly and rationally get that point across as much as possible to avoid unnecessary tampuhan among you and your barkada. You might be rekindling an old relationship, but you also wouldn’t want to cut ties with other people in the process.

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Your friends will always have a say in the matter, but this is ultimately your decision and your responsibility.

Your barkada—being the brutally vocal but loving bunch that they are—will surely have strong opinions about your relationship because they ultimately just want what’s best for you. That doesn’t mean, however, that what they say is what you should do. You’re the one involved in the relationship, so getting back with your ex is ultimately your decision. Just keep in mind that every choice comes with a sense of accountability, and getting the occasional third-party relationship advice from people who care about you wouldn’t hurt.

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Mylene Mendoza
Candy Staff Writer
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