Ask a Guy: How Do You Unlove a Person?
Candy Girl Mykee Porcalla Sumayod sent us a question via Facebook comment: "How do I unlove a person? You see it's like 3 months ago after our breakup and I'm still not over it. And it hurts like hell whenever I see him with his new girl."
We totally get how you feel Candy Girls. For this week's Ask a Guy, we asked some help from Candy Cutie Mathew Custodio. Hear him out below and take down notes!
Thank you for sending in your message. I'm really sorry for what you're going through, it must be tough, especially at your age. I know exactly what you're feeling, and I've been there too. But I'll give you simple and wicked advice that will 100% help you go through your breakup.
Breakups are actually, usually, the reason why people turn out to be the better person that they were meant to be or even sometimes, the worst person they could possibly be. It is not easy at all to unlove a person, and it does not just happen over a couple of nights, not even weeks or months or even years! But it really all depends on what kind of relationship you two had.
If you both felt and thought that you're the one for each other, then there could never really be an end to it, or if you guys didn't feel that way then there's no problem at all. I know it's said often, but, if two people are meant to be together, they will be. No matter what path they are both led to, in the end, they will find each other again.
From what I have learned in my past relationship (which has been two years since my ex and I broke up), you can never really not love the person anymore. Relationships are precious. Think of it like two human bodies touching each other's souls, having an eternal bond connecting them. And even if you find yourself in love with a new person in the future, the bond will always stay and never break. You can never undo it and the bond you guys built will always be there even when you break up. But if you broke up because the relationship has become toxic for one or both of you, think of it as a lesson, a plan God put you through so you learn from it and be better for the person you will end up marrying and have cute babies with. I think about it like that, it helps a lot.
You can never really not love the person anymore.
I actually still do think about my ex. Sometimes when I see places we've been to together, restaurants we've conquered, Facebook posts about the movies we've watched together, I remember her. But the point is, the memories will always be there even if it ended and you guys stayed friends or not. It is really more of learning how to live without them, moving on with your life, moving forward, and never looking back. Yes, seeing your ex with another person will definitely hurt but with what it seems to me, I'm completely sure he's only seeing her to forget about you, my dear.
Just stay and be the strong girl that you are, and do the right thing and spend your time growing for yourself, grow as a person and take time to do things for yourself. There are other boys who'll come your way, but just know that the right person to fall in love with is someone you can completely be yourself with. Take everything step by step, day by day, and everything will be as how it should be.
Also, it is time to let go of the nightly stalking on his Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Friendster, MySpace, Gmail, Yahoo, Hotmail, Tumblr, Rocket Mail, MSN, Snapchat, and all the other social accounts that he may have just to see what's happening in his life. It only makes it worse, believe me. Been there done that. It just gets you super sad and puts you in a bad mood, because the thought of him having a happy life without you will make you want to hurt him. Distract yourself from literally everything 24/7!
Lastly, it has only been three months and there's someone new? You deserve to forget about this boy! How long have they been together? Don't they know the three-month rule? You deserve the best and I believe you will get through this, my dear!
Got guy problems you want our Candy Cuties to help you with? Let us know in the comments. We always love hearing from you. :)
What're you up to today? Submit your OOTD, fanfic, essay, school project, org event, a pic of your latest hobby, or anything you want to be posted on the Candy Bulletin page!
To the Person Who Does Not Know Any 1D Song
By: CJ Reyno
Never in my wildest dream I imagined to meet someone who does not know a single One Direction song or who does not even know, Harry Styles, Louis Tomlinson, Liam Payne, Niall Horan, and err… Zayn Malik. How did you spend your teenagehood without listening to their songs? The disrespect to my #StyPayHorLikSon. My initial reaction, Vas Happenin’?
Since I was 12 years old, that was way back on 2012, One Direction songs have been my official life soundtrip, my go-to songs whenever I feel happy, sad, mad, excited, and etch. I can still remember how people went crazy just to attend their concert here in the Philippines. I must admit, I was one of those. LOL. The group was also dubbed as, “The Biggest Boyband in the World”. They were an era. You really left me in awe when you told me that you do not know a single One Direction song. Their songs are gold. But I was a little hopeful when a new messaged popped up on our conversation, “Hey I know one, Make You Beautiful”.
You do not know how my world collapsed after reading your message. I would like to say that I appreciate the effort, thanks, but they do not have a song entitled, Make You Beautiful, because it is, What Makes You Beautiful. I tried to explain but you said that they are just the same. (Tip: Never fight with a Directioner when it comes to this because we will not let our guards down). No! They are not the same. How can you make this big mistake? LOL. What Makes You Beautiful is One Direction’s debut song. Almost everyone knows this, “you’re insecure, don’t know what for,” ring a bell? The music video of this surpassed 1 billion views on Youtube. On my 21 years of existence, you are the very first person who told me this “I-Thought-It-Was-A-Joke-But-You-Are-Serious” statement.
As a persuasive fangirl, I thought to myself that I should make you appreciate their music, that you should know that it is What Makes You Beautiful, not Make You Beautiful. The group may be in hiatus but their music is and will always remain superior. You are hard-headed lad. We even when to the point where you challenged me to treat so I can make you watch their music video. Am I even surprised that I agreed to this? HAHA. I feel like an agent trying to persuade her customer to buy a property on our company. You do not know how happy I was when you sent me your video listening to What Makes You Beautiful. I felt like I successfully closed a deal with my client. Not to exaggerate but I really jumped because of happiness after watching your video. It was the first message I checked that morning. Thank you for your effort, so much appreciated. Funny how our conversation starts with your innocence on One Direction until it goes deeper and last longer. Up All Nigh conversations which turned to almost Midnight Memories. Ironic how a Directioner had developed an admiration on someone who dislikes her favorite boys? Just like One Direction’s song, Change My Mind, “Never felt like this before. Are we friends or are we more?” I guess, like Liam’s line on Love You Goodbye, “It's inevitable everything that's good comes to an end. It's impossible to know if after this we can still be friends.”
I was happy that I made you listen to One Direction. At least I made you appreciate and made you aware that there is a song called, What Makes You Beautiful, not Make You Beautiful. I am happy that you already found your Girl Almighty. Wish me luck on finding my Summer Love. xoxo, Your Directioner friend
Here's a fan art that I made for Lee Joo Young of Itaewon class! I've been making digital illustration since last year and I'm happy that I was able to see my improvements. I'm also happy to see people's reactions and support for my craft even though all of it are made through my phone (adobe illustrator) only ????. You don't actually have to use expensive or complicated medium as long as you know how to be creative and like what you're doing, then you can do it. ????