Candy Girl Mykee Porcalla Sumayod sent us a question via Facebook comment: "How do I unlove a person? You see it's like 3 months ago after our breakup and I'm still not over it. And it hurts like hell whenever I see him with his new girl."
We totally get how you feel Candy Girls. For this week's Ask a Guy, we asked some help from Candy Cutie Mathew Custodio. Hear him out below and take down notes!
Dear Mykee,
Thank you for sending in your message. I'm really sorry for what you're going through, it must be tough, especially at your age. I know exactly what you're feeling, and I've been there too. But I'll give you simple and wicked advice that will 100% help you go through your breakup.
Breakups are actually, usually, the reason why people turn out to be the better person that they were meant to be or even sometimes, the worst person they could possibly be. It is not easy at all to unlove a person, and it does not just happen over a couple of nights, not even weeks or months or even years! But it really all depends on what kind of relationship you two had.
If you both felt and thought that you're the one for each other, then there could never really be an end to it, or if you guys didn't feel that way then there's no problem at all. I know it's said often, but, if two people are meant to be together, they will be. No matter what path they are both led to, in the end, they will find each other again.
From what I have learned in my past relationship (which has been two years since my ex and I broke up), you can never really not love the person anymore. Relationships are precious. Think of it like two human bodies touching each other's souls, having an eternal bond connecting them. And even if you find yourself in love with a new person in the future, the bond will always stay and never break. You can never undo it and the bond you guys built will always be there even when you break up. But if you broke up because the relationship has become toxic for one or both of you, think of it as a lesson, a plan God put you through so you learn from it and be better for the person you will end up marrying and have cute babies with. I think about it like that, it helps a lot.
You can never really not love the person anymore.
I actually still do think about my ex. Sometimes when I see places we've been to together, restaurants we've conquered, Facebook posts about the movies we've watched together, I remember her. But the point is, the memories will always be there even if it ended and you guys stayed friends or not. It is really more of learning how to live without them, moving on with your life, moving forward, and never looking back. Yes, seeing your ex with another person will definitely hurt but with what it seems to me, I'm completely sure he's only seeing her to forget about you, my dear.
Just stay and be the strong girl that you are, and do the right thing and spend your time growing for yourself, grow as a person and take time to do things for yourself. There are other boys who'll come your way, but just know that the right person to fall in love with is someone you can completely be yourself with. Take everything step by step, day by day, and everything will be as how it should be.
Also, it is time to let go of the nightly stalking on his Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Friendster, MySpace, Gmail, Yahoo, Hotmail, Tumblr, Rocket Mail, MSN, Snapchat, and all the other social accounts that he may have just to see what's happening in his life. It only makes it worse, believe me. Been there done that. It just gets you super sad and puts you in a bad mood, because the thought of him having a happy life without you will make you want to hurt him. Distract yourself from literally everything 24/7!
Lastly, it has only been three months and there's someone new? You deserve to forget about this boy! How long have they been together? Don't they know the three-month rule? You deserve the best and I believe you will get through this, my dear!
Mathew
Got guy problems you want our Candy Cuties to help you with? Let us know in the comments. We always love hearing from you. :)
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