Guys

8 Things to Consider Before Giving Your Ex a Second Chance

"Because giving him a second chance is like handing him another bullet to shoot you AGAIN after he has already shot you once—trusting that he won't."
PHOTOS Majoy Siason MAKEUP Sari Campos HAIR Elaine Ganuelas
MODELS Hye Won Jang, Daniel Velasco CLOTHES Forever 21, Penshoppe

Popoy: "Why is it so easy for you to see the worst in me?"
Basha: "Why do you make it so hard for me to see the best in you?"
–John Lloyd Cruz and Bea Alonzo in A Second Chance

Let's not deny it. It's every girl's fantasy to have the same guy who broke her heart come crawling back to her on his hands and knees, begging for forgiveness. While the choice of piecing your broken relationship back together again like a twisted jigsaw puzzle is entirely up to you, there are always some very serious things to consider before doing so. Which in turn brings us to the million-dollar question: "Should I give him another chance?" You've survived the aftermath of a breakup and have pretty much sang every Taylor Swift or Adele song there is, but don't be too quick to channel your inner Popoy and Basha! Here are 8 things to consider before giving your ex a second chance.

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 1  How serious was the relationship?

Being together for only 3 months is entirely different from being together for 3 whole years. If you've been together for only a short while and have been constantly bickering over the littlest things, then maybe it's high time to call it quits for good. You have to learn how to choose your battles and going through yet another rocky relationship with the same person isn't one of them.

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 2  Don't fall for words, watch his actions.

Some guys just have such a way with words that can make us fall in a heartbeat (of course, considering the past you two had that just makes it even more dangerous). Keep in mind that it is always much easier to simply say than to actually do. Watch what the actual effort that he does to show how much he really, really wants you back and then you can consider if he is worthy of a new opportunity to make things right.

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 3  Have you weighed the pros and cons of getting back together?

It could be quite a long list that entails a whole lot of alone time thinking, but still necessary nonetheless. If the cons severely outweigh the pros then not getting back together should be something you definitely consider. Spare yourself from another heartache.

 4  Remember why you two broke up in the first place.

Slide your relationship under the microscope and think about what caused the relationship to end. Was it just after a big fight wherein ego, hurtful words, and emotions were running high? If so, then maybe you should look back into your relationship together to really determine whether you two are happier (and better) together or apart.

 5  Will you still be able to trust your partner after everything?

If chronic lying or cheating was the reason for you two to call it quits, then are you really still willing to give him another chance without having full access to his phone/email/social media accounts? Trust is an underestimated but immensely valuable thing that can be incredibly difficult to replace. If your ex has already cheated on you once, he can do it AGAIN (and this time with a much more improved sneaky hiding strategy). Don't give him that power because you deserve better.

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 6  Have you already (okay, mostly) moved on?

At which stage you are in your moving on journey matters a whole lot in this situation. Ask yourself if he's still worth taking back after what he's done and after you've worked so hard on forgetting him and letting go. Are you ready to give up your newfound strength as a single girl and all the freedom that comes with it?

 7  Why does your ex want you back?

"I'm crying because I miss you." It's good to consider that maybe that gorgeous girl he had the audacity to replace you with dumped him, or he's being incredibly lonely? Maybe his friends are grilling him for everything he's put you through or he actually does miss you and regrets taking you for granted? Either way, most of the reasons stated above are not worth another chance. Time to go your own ways, honey.

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 8  Will your ex fit back into your life?

Expect some backlash from your friends and family after you introduce your ex back into your life—especially after months of them helping you mend a broken heart during the aftermath of your big breakup. Will they still be happy to welcome him after everything that he's done to you? Or are they going to keep hating him and thinking that he's the worst guy ever? While the risk is still yours to take, you may want to consider how getting back together will affect your family and friends. If they despise him, this may plant some unnecessary strain on your healing relationship and bring about the Big Breakup Part Two.

Want more tips on dealing with your ex? Just tweet us @candymagdotcom or leave a comment below. We love hearing from you!

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About the author
Daryn Agapay
Candymag.com Correspondent
As a certified Candy Girl, I constantly push myself out of my comfort zone to experience all the adventure life can bring and to pour my heart out into everything I do. If I'm not writing, you may find me obsessing about cats, latte art, fashion, books, or french fries.
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