7 Ways to Win That Candyman's Heart
First, a reality check. Not all first dates end as picture perfect moments. Sometimes, a faulty zipper can shatter your fairy tale-induced illusions. I'm not trying to rattle you with negative vibes here. All I'm saying is this: first dates are about managing goals rather than meeting them. So chuck any preconceived notions you may have about first date perfection. As my reliable guy sources reveal, the real secret to a blockbuster date depends on seven simple guy-grabbing concerns. Their message? Stick to the basics.
- Late Expectations
Punctuality is a turn-on. Ditch the age-old "If-he-really-likes-me-he'll-wait" test your mom's spinster-amigas keep babbling about. If it takes you three hours to bathe and dress up, start earlier. Anticipate other time-delaying hurdles like traffic and make the necessary adjustments. Be fashionably early for a change. Not everyone gets a second chance to make a good impression.
- Venue Edition
Adrian, 17, on the three factors guys consider when choosing where to go: "Budget, budget, budget!" on the first dates, guys generally go for the usual dinner at a not-so fancy, affordable, cool and unpretentious restaurant.
Snazzy joints intimidate guys. Clubs and parties that require a show of vocal chord strength are out, too. "A big-time hotel," Tonichi, 17, says, "will have you broke big time." All men want is to be themselves. And they don't mind trying something real trippy and cost saving like skating and biking at the village park, hiking, bowling, or a picnic in Tagaytay.
- Dress Conference
Don't shoo us away with a knockout get-up. Less is more. And I mean, less flashy and less attention-grabbing. "Don't overdress," says Uro, 18. "Don't make me feel like I don't belong."
Li'l J-short skirts, backless tops, and revealing blouses are likely to get the thumbs down. "I don't want onlookers to think she's easy," says Ikoy. Wear something you'll feel comfortable in all night. Ask him where you plan to go before date night so you can plan to go before date night so you can plan what to wear. He'll be flattered you asked.
One last beauty note. Guys dread too much make-up on women. But what is too much exactly? Says Jed, 19: "Too much make up is when sobra nang puti ng face, iba na ang color nito sa neck niya. It hides her natural beauty. Iyon pa naman ang una kong nagustuhan sa kanya."
- Talking Point
First dates are about impressions. You gain favorable points by just being yourself and a connection happened when two people aren't afraid to be themselves. Lying about yourself will only inspire his ire.
Chat about your interests, your point-of-views, your pets. Discuss why you hate Math. Explain why you love Grey's Anatomy. Debate about Conan O'Brien's hilarious monologues. Guys go for freewheeling interactions. They're awestruck by women who speak their mind and who are willing to go beyond silly prattle. "Talking about nothing but light topics can be useless," Tonichi notes. "Talking about all heavy and heady stuff can be boring. Finding the balance is the key."
Never let traces of self-doubt show. Don't talk like a telegram or use sign language. Guys detect it if you're in the "what-should-I-say-how do-I-say it-do-I-sound-stupid?" zone. And to them, it's a guaranteed mood killer. Certain subject matters-ex-boyfriends, family hang ups, personal problems-are definite no-nos for guys, "I'm not there to listen about past heartaches," Adrian says. "I'm not Joe D' Mango."
- Sense and Sensibility
If we shout "Hey, I'm over here!", that means more eye contact is needed. If we repeat ourselves, that means you're not listening or that we're not engaging enough to tear you away from texting your best friend as we order dessert.
When you agree to go out on a date, value the conversation you're having. Eye contact means you're curious about what we have to say. Listening means you value this very moment with us. But Ikoy cautions about getting too, er, heavy-handed when showing interest, "If she pats my back the way Miss Piggy does Kermit the Frog, sorry, but she's headed for the frying pan," he says. "Don't get too physical. Smiling is fine."
- Bill Crusher
Behold the Filipino Macho Man. When it comes to paying the bill, you can depend on him to shoulder everything on a first date. To them, it's not a question of political correctness. "It's a natural and gentleman thing to do," explains Jigs, 19. "Siya na nga ang naabala, equal sharing pa. You get extra pogi points if you pay for everything." Though most of guys find splitting the bill an awkward set-up, it won't hurt to carry some money... just in case. Come date number two, they admitted they may seem more receptive to the idea.
- Lip Service
Relationship gurus are convinced that the best first date is normally a short one—just long enough to allow you to get to know each other. First date pressures, they stress, make it impossible for you to really have a super time. There's always the promise of a second date, though. How you'll score one, guy says, hinges on compatibility and your desire to go out again. Remember, men like automatic feedback, so express yourself if you really had a great time. And don't say nice—it's too tame and ambiguous, too over-used.
Finally, their thoughts on a good night kiss? It's a sweet way of ending a great night," Uro says. "Should it shock her? It's just a kiss and it's so easy to get it over with."
Don't worry—guys know it's not a presidential decree. The deal is if it feels natural; don't petition for a temporary restraining order.
What're you up to today? Submit your OOTD, fanfic, essay, school project, org event, a pic of your latest hobby, or anything you want to be posted on the Candy Bulletin page!
"Today, I Won"
I always caught feelings for someone, and hoped so much that one day there could a thing between the two of us. I'm usually the one that makes the effort to buy and/or make cute gifts, chats them every other day, and stays up all night with him.
When I was 16, my childhood crush suddenly came back into my life. We'd constantly send updates to each other, recommend favorite songs and talk even the most random things. He'd even text me as early as 6 to just greet me good morning almost everyday. I hoped so much that when I confessed, he suddenly stopped talking to me.
For short, he ghosted me. Those 6 months I spent talking to him, allotting my time for him, and staying up until 3 am for him - all gone in a simple confession. Although I had a few crushes before him, he's the only one that got me in real pain. It was the kind of pain that I never thought I'd experience. It was the kind of pain that I couldn't believe.
After 7 years (it happened back in 2017), I thought he came back into my life to stay, but I guess he's just one of the guys who distanced. I felt a complete loser that time. But during this quarantine, everything was different. I caught feelings for someone else, but he treated me with the best kindness yet.
It happened at 2 am, May 30, 2020, when I impulsively confessed my feelings through messaging him. After saying my feelings, he responded with genuine and kind words. We both even complimented each other. Although the feelings didn't reciprocate, I still found a connection that can't be replaced with any guy.
To my 16 year old self, here I am, 18 and happy. You may have felt that time was the biggest regret and loss, but I'm here to tell you, we won. Today, I won.
Why our high school barkada is the best?
Remembering our high school years entails quite a lot reminiscing of the things we all been through when we were younger. You’ve experience a lot of new things during those 4 wonderful years and did most of them with the few people you consider your barkada. And through a series of all the lunch breaks you had together, the walks you took on the way home, and taking the same classes, you never thought you’d survive, you have made your life’s greatest friends.
Here are some of the reasons why your high school barkada is the best:
1. You figured out early teenage life together. The transition one have undergone from being a kid to a teenager wasn’t easy. For a moment you are not sure whether you should have played with your friends during recess or you should have just sat down and ate your food because you were too old for games. But whatever it is you chose to do, having friends who were as clueless as you make everything feel easier because you know, deep down, you’d figure things out eventually. You just need good company.
2. They were with you during your “jeje“ days. I bet you have pictures taken with Camera360 and Retrica. You also have pictures edited using Pizap with embarrassing captions and you somehow kept some of them so you could have something to post online during their birthdays.
3. They know all your exes. They will never EVER forget the name of an ex-boyfriend, an ex-fling, an ex-crush, and an almost you had. They will remind you of your every questionable love decision but you’ll just laugh anyway while saying “Past is past”.
4. They never judge you. They have welcomed you to their lives when you thought jelly shoes and checkered polos were the bomb! They were quick to have told your teachers that you were not feeling well so you could go home when you really just needed to poop. You tell them every embarrassing story you have and were fine with it.
5. You can always count on them. From the moment you first fell in love and the moment you first had your heart broken, they were with you. They were with you the moment you lost a parent and at moments when you thought you had nothing. Through every break-up and breakthrough, they were there to be your support system.
6. They are your family. Your high school friend’s family is your own family’s extension. Their parents are like your own. Don’t you feel a little kilig whenever your friend’s parents call you “anak”? And then eventually calling them mama and papa became so natural? I felt that, all the time.
7. They will always be your home. They are your place of refuge and security, the place who offers you their hands when you feel lost and the place you run to when you need saving. No matter how much time and distance separate you, they will be the one’s that you always long for and they are the one’s that you will always return to.
You're gonna bend and break and then at some point in your life, you feel like you don't want to fall in love again.
Not because you're no longer capable of loving but because you're so afraid to get hurt again that you don't want to take a risk anymore. And you're gonna wake up one day and realize that you're not the same person as you were yesterday. The heart aches, heartbreaks, frustration, you'll see, those will transform your whole being into something better.
Honey, move forward. Let go off all the things that are not meant for you. Let go of all the people who hurt you and take you for granted. Don't be stuck feeling miserable.
And don't turn that love into hate when you resent someone for hurting you or for breaking your heart. Just wish them well and let them go. Welcome the possibility of a beautiful love that will come your way. You're worthy of love that you keep on giving to other people. Keep that in mind.
I wish you well and all the happiness. You deserve it.
Here we are — with rough hands entwined, damned hearts at peace, broken souls resting with ease —savoring each passing moment before we part ways...hoping things will turn out to be okay. Here we are — standing still, keeping our earnest desire and ardent passion for each other at bay — hoping the Universe will finally grant us of the day that we no longer have to pretend... that things will no longer have to end.
Here we are — with crooked smiles, lingering touch that will last for a while -- gathering all the remaining courage to set each other free. Wishing for the day that our hearts will no longer have to worry. Here we are letting each other go. Even though we both know that the future is uncertain. Even though we're unsure if our paths will cross once again.