6 Things About Your Relationship That You Shouldn't Post Online
Don't make your account your relationship page because not everyone is a fan of it. Nor should they be. It's nice when other people admire your relationship and see it as #goals. But, if your goal is to be just seen like that, then you're in a relationship for a weird reason. You see it as just the cover of a good book, rather than the inside pages.
There's a reason why researchers say that couples who don't post a lot about their relationship are happier than those who do. While it really depends and that doesn't apply to all cases, there are just some things that are better kept offline.
- Your arguments.
Or anything you're not happy about that he did. If you really need to let it out, talk to a reliable friend. Don't broadcast your fight because it will just make things worse. Some people might even join in on your argument thinking they can help, while some just want something they can gossip about. There's no such thing as a perfect relationship, problems and arguments are bound to happen and the two of you are the only ones who can solve it, not anyone else.
- Selfies that should be private.
Kissing (or PDA-ish) selfies should be a no-no when it comes to social media. Selfies like that should not be seen by everyone because it's a private moment between the two of you.
- Things your partner didn't allow you to post.
Before you post something about your relationship, you should always ask for your partner’s permission first even if you think it's funny. Maybe it's something he doesn't want everyone to know. If so, you should respect his decision. It won't only cause a fight between the two of you, it will also break some limits. If you're in his place, you wouldn't want him to post that unflattering picture of yours, right?
- Every single detail of your date.
Your relationship is not a teleserye; you don't need to broadcast every little detail that happened on your date. We're not saying you can't post anything about it, just don't post everything. A date should be just between the two of you.
- Any personal detail about him.
We get that you're soooooooo in love with him, and you want everyone to know how amazing he is. But it's better if they'll find out why on their own, instead of posting too much information about him.
- Every single sweet thing he did for you.
He gave you flowers last Tuesday, he tied your shoes before you went to class, he carried your bag on your way home, and he made you pancakes for breakfast earlier. And your friends know these things because you LITERALLY post everything he does for you. We know that you're really just proud of your relationship, but posting everything is too much. Believe us, it's sweeter when there are moments that only the two of you know; it's like your own world! And that's what makes a relationship.
What're you up to today? Submit your OOTD, fanfic, essay, school project, org event, a pic of your latest hobby, or anything you want to be posted on the Candy Bulletin page!
First. Pixie dust and paper cuts – these are the first things Wendy knew about Peter Pan. Aurora first met Prince Philip when she was sixteen. Learning how to ride a bike was also a first while I was growing up, but you are probably the first of too many. The first collection of dust and stars; maybe Luna will try to ask, who was your first? I might answer and tell her that it was you.
The first of too many stars in the sky. You are the first of too many fallen leaves during fall – and you will be the most anticipated snowflake as winter comes. A dark path that you can’t see without any light, hence, you were once the moon and there are the stars that shine so bright at night. Are we too early? Or we just really want to be ahead of time? Even in a glimpse, I would like to see the two of us connect as if we can reach the sky. There are other parts of the heavens you have never saw and other oceans you haven’t laid your feet onto – but the constellations will always wait for you. Close your eyes, love, close your eyes. Start counting backward: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Count backward until you see the twinkling lights that will guide you to the right path. To the right satellite; to the right person. A first.
There are many firsts – first love, first heartbreak, first sport you played, the first thing you do in the morning, the first thing you remember about the person in front of you. There are a lot. It’s actually up to us how we will consider something as a first. So, Primo, you are already a first of too many.
If you know me, and know me well, I am not the biggest fan of idyllic lifestyles. With a Type A personality, I act immediately upon whatever challenge that needs to be addressed. I actually enjoy keeping my mind preoccupied: doing university work in my favourite cafe then running errands around town, grocery shopping here, updating my accounts there, photocopying documents on the way down the street - all just in time before having a glass of champagne at the bar with my friends come evening.
And so, you could imagine my bewilderment when the next challenge to be faced was an extensive self-quarantine protocol. I didn’t know what to do when my greatest responsibility in this situation was to do nothing at all. My first few attempts to combat my consternation were very much rooted in distraction and imagination. My distractions involved conducting research, writing songs, calling family and friends, filming videos, and eating chocolate! My imaginations and fantasies were centred on travelling, shopping, even clubbing (which I rarely do) for when they find a cure to COVID-19. I did anything and everything that could be considered constructive in order to pass the time, mainly hoping I could just undertake the basic human necessities to survive - that is, eat and sleep the day through - until the next day comes, until the world is closer to becoming a better place, until quarantine ends, until my flight follows through, until I see my family and friends again.
Days in self-isolation and suspended flights turned to weeks and turned to months. By the third extension here in Spain where I study Fashion Business, I had to tell myself this shall be my new normal now, that I was blessed to be healthy, that I was tired of merely existing and missed what it was like to actually live - even if just within four walls. Little by little, I began to find significance in the simple occurrences of the day: the soft glare of the rising sun beaming golden streaks through my bedroom window upon waking up, the fragrance of freshly washed bed sheets that I had painstakingly hung to fit a relatively small clothes rack without crumpling them, the crunch and tanginess of warm toasted bread topped with raspberry marmalade, the buzzing sound of a phone call from home just waiting to be answered, to the caress of a fuzzy sweater to keep warm at night. I realised, “What pleasures to be enjoyed in the pause of slow living!” Through this continued pause, which I loathed at first, I began to appreciate each moment of the day rather than wish it would pass more swiftly, moments I had overlooked so often before the lockdown. I started to find that the challenge of self-isolation was never to pause both the regular routines of life as well as the positive emotions that came with these - as initially, I thought it meant to pause all happiness, so as to withstand a time of endurance in hopes for a better tomorrow, much like a form of delaying gratification. Life is just too fragile these days to delay gratification any further.
Life has paused, but it has not stopped. Believe that like any punctuation mark in a sentence, the pause will provide the right timing of things to take place. Till then, let us not waste our time waiting. Instead, we could be in the moment, seek substance in simplicity (that is, in what we already have), And enjoy the pleasure in pause. “Practice the Pause. When in doubt, pause. When angry, pause. When tired, pause. When stressed, pause. And when you pause, pray.”