5 Ways You Can Avoid Codependent Relationships
Codependent relationships happen when people irrationally disregard their personal needs and desires for the sake of their partners. This kind of relationship is very unhealthy and exhausting to maintain because it only leads to trust issues and long-term resentments.
If you're worried about the future of your relationship, here are some of the things that you might want to consider doing in order to avoid codependency.
1. Take a stand.
A codependent relationship begins the moment you stop asserting yourself. This happens when you become too complacent with your relationship that you stop evaluating your partner's actions and you just become a loyal follower of his decisions. This is frightening especially when his influence on you becomes so powerful that you can no longer recognize yourself.
To prevent this from happening, you must be willing to hold your ground. You should keep in mind that your opinions matter and you should not be afraid to express them. Your partner needs to hear your side even if it doesn't always match his perspective. Reconciling your differences may seem a little tough but it's better than letting your partner diminish your own identity.
2. Reconnect with your family and friends.
When you get too invested in your relationship, you may unintentionally forget other personal ties that are equally important. This is, of course, unfair to your family and friends because your partner is not the only person who deserves your time. You are not just someone's girlfriend so don't let your relationship dictate your entire life.
More than that, the presence of your loved ones is also a constant reminder that you have to honor your other commitments in life. Besides, isn't it comforting to know that you have a reliable support system outside of your relationship?
3. Set your boundaries.
While we are sure that your partner does not really mind tagging along when you run your personal errands, there may be times that it's best to just give him a little break. There are things in life that you must learn how to do alone. You can't always be a damsel in distress who does nothing but wait for your Prince Charming to rescue you from a tedious task. That's not how real life works. You have to accept the fact that your partner won't always be by your side 24/7 and that's okay. You don't have to do everything together, anyway.
Your world doesn't have to stop when your partner is not around. There are so many activities that you can do without actually needing his help. Use this opportunity to become more responsible and more independent. After all, it's far more rewarding to fulfill a task without depending on anyone.
4. Focus on self-growth.
Codependent relationships come with tons of restrictions. Your decisions in life, for instance, are often compromised because you are compelled to prioritize your relationship more than anything else. Sadly, this mentality only hinders you from moving forward.
Keep in mind that it's totally fine to put yourself first. You don't have to feel guilty about it because there is nothing wrong about wanting to improve yourself. It just means that you value your individuality and your personal dreams. So, always keep your long-term goals close to your heart and never lose focus.
Resentments often develop when couples get so caught up in their relationships that they forget to consider the bigger things in life. Remember that good relationships bring encouragement while the bad ones bring dissatisfaction. So, take the opportunity to pursue your individual goals while you still can. It’s never too late to reinvent yourself.
5. Acknowledge your value.
We know it's a little cliche but practicing self-love is still the greatest investment that you can make. When you finally learn to acknowledge your worth, you become aware of the things you genuinely deserve. It’s a form of personal empowerment that most people need to reclaim themselves.
Recognizing your value gives you the courage to avoid a codependent relationship because you can now rely on yourself to make the right choices. You finally understand that you don’t always have to conform to your partner’s decisions just because you’re together. You are the only person in charge of your life and your identity is certainly not defined by the person you’re dating. So don’t think of your relationship as a way to complete yourself. You’re only deceiving yourself if you believe that genuine happiness can only come from your partner. Sometimes, all it really takes is just a little self-appreciation to make a significant difference.
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