5 Ways You Are Sabotaging Your Own Love Life
When love just won't swing our way, we often complain about how the universe is being unfair. We blame modern dating for being a battlefield we can't seem to conquer. We blame the people who hurt us before because we can't seem to forget them.
It is easy to point fingers when everything seems like a hopeless cause but sometimes we should also consider our hand at the situation. Sometimes, without even realizing it, we have one foot at that big red "self-destruct" button.
- You are not a believer of "past is past."
We know you first love screwed you up pretty badly and that is why you are terrified of trying again. You can't bear the possibility of going through another shattering heartbreak so you choose to settle in the place where he left you; alone but at least safe. Don't let this mentality stop you from experiencing the magic the comes with loving and being loved.Try to open your heart to a guy who is willing to treat you better. Learn how to let go of everything that has hurt you before. Don't be a hostage of a love that is no more. Pick yourself up from the rubble, brush the dust off of your shoulders and keep walking. You are strong enough to try again.
- You have given up hope.
After countless failed attempts at getting it right you are ready to wave a white flag and swallow the "I'll never find love" pill. You have accepted the fact that modern dating is just not for you and you are on your way to conditioning your mind to think that love is just not your cup of tea. Before anything else, here is a *hug*. We know how hard it is to find love out there, but don't you stop believing that someone will come your way and change your mind.
- You always doubt yourself.
It's about time you believe that you deserve love just like everyone else. Never ever sell yourself short because you, yes you, are lovely and you are worthy of a love that stays. Don't think that you are not pretty enough, or confident enough, to be loved. Just be yourself, because one day, someone will come along and he will love every little thing about you. Dig everything about yourself. Fall in love with your quirks and learn how to embrace your weaknesses. Always remember that a woman who knows her worth is a force to reckon with.
- You change yourself for a guy to like you.
It's normal to want to look your best and say all the right things that will have our crush swooning, but it's an entirely different thing when you start to spin your opinions in a way you know he will like. Never compromise who you are to win someone over. You are better than that. Plus, if it is meant to be, you don't even have to try at all.
- You have unrealistic expectations.
Blame romantic comedies where the perfect guy always ends up with the perfect girl because they're just meant to be from the very moment the universe was created. The earlier your realize that love stories in the movies are worlds apart from the real thing, the sooner you'll learn that love is not meant to be easy. Love involves compromise, and patience, and complete acceptance. Make sure you are ready to put in all the work.
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I've been investing in arts, photography, and writing. I've also got back to reading the other day and I finished reading this amazing book entitled 300 Things I Hope by Iain S. Thomas. It is all about the things the author hopes his readers to do in all aspects of life. So, I decided to make a version of it with all of the things I'm hoping for.
I hope I get to see my friends be successful in life. I hope to make a big mural someday. I hope to be a well-known artist like the artists I look up to. I hope to marry the person I am in love with today. I hope to be a little kinder to myself. I hope to see happiness even in the smallest things. I hope to travel the world. I hope to be a good mother and a wife to my future family. I hope to have my artworks displayed in a gallery or an exhibit. I hope to learn more about creative writing. I hope I won't learn how to get tired and give up my passion. I hope I won't get too hard on myself whenever I don't get the results I've been wanting to see in my works. I hope to love myself more even on the days I hate it the most. I hope to lead and empower women; to be their voice and for them to believe in themselves that they can be the woman they look up to. And when I've reached my limit of these things, I hope I won't get tired of reminding myself that my emotions don't make me weak, hence, makes me stronger. These are some of the things I always hope for. What about you? What are you hoping for?
I started fixing myself this quarantine. I mean, I started trying makeup products. As a teen, I'm on my phone almost every hour of the day, scroll on my social media accounts, especially Instagram, and also Pinterest where you get to see nice and pleasing photography by bunch of amazing and beautiful people from different parts of the world. So I started taking my own as well. I did not know that taking your own photo and try to get an Instagramable one is sooooooooo hard, it's exhausting. I do not have alot of space in my room, and I would definitely not do it outside our house because of Corona Virus, and I don't want to be seen by our neighbors HAHA so I have no choice but to make tiis inside my room.
Out of atleast 25 shots, only 2 are a nice picture. While I'm all sweaty and tired, I am proud of what I could do beyond my comfort zone. And this definitely built my self confidence, (and I secret love the compliments I received from both people I know and don't know) It's not my first time visiting in here, Candy! But I'm new to writing my thoughts and experiences, so bare with me HAHA.
Until next time!
First. Pixie dust and paper cuts – these are the first things Wendy knew about Peter Pan. Aurora first met Prince Philip when she was sixteen. Learning how to ride a bike was also a first while I was growing up, but you are probably the first of too many. The first collection of dust and stars; maybe Luna will try to ask, who was your first? I might answer and tell her that it was you.
The first of too many stars in the sky. You are the first of too many fallen leaves during fall – and you will be the most anticipated snowflake as winter comes. A dark path that you can’t see without any light, hence, you were once the moon and there are the stars that shine so bright at night. Are we too early? Or we just really want to be ahead of time? Even in a glimpse, I would like to see the two of us connect as if we can reach the sky. There are other parts of the heavens you have never saw and other oceans you haven’t laid your feet onto – but the constellations will always wait for you. Close your eyes, love, close your eyes. Start counting backward: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Count backward until you see the twinkling lights that will guide you to the right path. To the right satellite; to the right person. A first.
There are many firsts – first love, first heartbreak, first sport you played, the first thing you do in the morning, the first thing you remember about the person in front of you. There are a lot. It’s actually up to us how we will consider something as a first. So, Primo, you are already a first of too many.