5 Ways You Are Sabotaging Your Own Love Life

We'll give you the lowdown on how you can fix it ASAP.
by Alyssa Jose   |  Oct 22, 2016
Image: Tech Noir/Giphy
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When love just won't swing our way, we often complain  about how the universe is being unfair. We blame modern dating for being a battlefield we can't seem to conquer. We blame the people who hurt us before because we can't seem to forget them.

It is easy to point fingers when everything seems like a hopeless cause but sometimes we should also consider our hand at the situation. Sometimes, without even realizing it, we have one foot at that big red "self-destruct" button.

  1. You are not a believer of "past is past."

We know you first love screwed you up pretty badly and that is why you are terrified of trying again. You can't bear the possibility of going through another shattering heartbreak so you choose to settle in the place where he left you; alone but at least safe. Don't let this mentality stop you from experiencing the magic the comes with loving and being loved.Try to open your heart to a guy who is willing to treat you better. Learn how to let go of everything that has hurt you before. Don't be a hostage of a love that is no more. Pick yourself up from the rubble, brush the dust off of your shoulders and keep walking. You are strong enough to try again.

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  1. You have given up hope.

After countless failed attempts  at  getting it right you are ready to wave a white flag and swallow the "I'll never find love" pill. You have accepted the fact that modern dating is just not for you and you are on your way to conditioning your mind to think that love is just not your cup of tea. Before anything else, here is a *hug*. We know how hard it is to find love out there, but don't you stop believing that someone will come your way and change your mind.

  1. You always doubt yourself.

It's about time you believe that you deserve love just like everyone else. Never ever sell yourself short because you, yes you, are lovely and you are worthy of a love that stays. Don't think that you are not pretty enough, or confident enough, to be loved. Just be yourself, because one day, someone will come along and he will love every little thing about you. Dig everything about yourself. Fall in love with your quirks and learn how to embrace your weaknesses. Always remember that a woman who knows her worth is a force to reckon with.


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  1. You change yourself for a guy to like you.

It's normal to want to look your best and say all the right things that will have our crush swooning, but it's an entirely different thing when you start to spin your opinions in a way you know he will like. Never compromise who you are to win someone over. You are better than that. Plus, if it is meant to be, you don't even have to try at all.

  1. You have unrealistic expectations.

Blame romantic comedies where the perfect guy always ends up with the perfect girl because they're just meant to be from the very moment the universe was created. The earlier your realize that love stories in the movies are worlds apart from the real thing, the sooner you'll learn that love is not meant to be easy. Love involves compromise, and patience, and complete acceptance. Make sure you are ready to put in all the work.

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About the author
Alyssa Jose
Candymag.com Correspondent
A huge believer in optimism and good karma. Alyssa spends her days in pursuit of genuine and intense happiness. Her heart is an ocean of her dreams and passions, brimming with the people she loves deeply. Her immense love for good books and divine apple pies keeps her going. She adores New York, sing-alongs, hand-written letters, deep conversations, pretty flowers and cute dogs.
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