5 Ways to Show Him You’re Not Interested
We've seen articles on how to tell if he's interested in you. We've also seen those that tell you how to show him you're interested in him. But what happens when you're not interested in the guy who's interested in you? For one, we don't want to be called assuming, or feeling. It's hard to ask for other people's advice, particularly when he hasn't explicitly told you he's interested in you—even if the signs all point to that train of thought. Another thing, your conscience might not be able to take it if you went straight to his face and told him you weren't interested in him. When he tells you he isn't even interested in you that way, you'll want the ground to swallow you up. So how do you push away those super embarrassing moments when your gut is telling you something's really up? Here are 5 not-so-rude ways to show him you're not interested (whether or not he truly is... it doesn't hurt to be sure).
- Don't feel obligated to reply to his messages.
Seriously. You don't have to worry about making him feel bad if you don't reply within 5 minutes. Better yet, when it doesn't necessarily call for it, you don't have to reply at all. Avoid sending long, detailed messages as well. Stick to one-word answers as much as you can, and if you can cut a conversation short, do it. You'll only make him think that you're interested in him by putting so much time and effort in replying promptly.
- Turn down offers.
No matter how tempting his offer of treating you out for lunch is, DON'T ACCEPT. We get how hard this can be, but still, this might give him the wrong idea. You can put off invitations by telling him that you're busy or by asking him who else is joining you. This way, you're implying that you don't plan on spending a one-on-one session with him. This is why it's always important to have your reinforcements steady and ready.
- Subtly bring up other subjects.
Stir him to the direction that he's not really your type. Try, in a really pasimple way, to bring up the guy that you’'re currently crushing on—it doesn't matter if that person is non-existent. Just be extra careful that you don't end up giving out qualities that match the guy you're not interested in! The purpose of this is to hint that he's not really your type, not the other way around.
- Pull out the Friendzone card.
Wait a minute. Before you even attempt to do this, read on first. We don't mean that you pull out that cliché line of, "I only like you as a friend." This is exactly what we're trying to avoid because, in the first place, he might never have even told you straight up that he likes you beyond friendship. Try going for the other direction. Randomly muse about being really grateful for having a friend like him and hoping that you'll always stay that way. This way, you're defining your relationship (aka friendship) without assuming that he's trying to go the next level.
- Follow the 3 Is.
When all else fails, follow the three Is. Ignore. Ignore. Ignore. Remember that this is only the emergency handle. By completely ignoring and shooting him down, you're also cutting off a bridge of relationship between the two of you. Given a period of time, he will eventually realize that you're really not interested in him at all, and when he moves on, your friendship (or whatever status you may have had before) won’t stitch itself back together just like that. As much as possible, try not to resort to this.
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Before, sliding over the rainbows
Now, our hearts are bruised
Days once full of love and laughter
Became dawns of forfeited ever after
Smiles that bring ticklish sensations
Turned to cold question and answer
Figuring who would be the next instructor
The queen’s awake
Grappling to the happiness that the sorrow and sadness take
Going back to all the promises he couldn’t make
Poetry #2: YOUR VOICE
When you talk, your voice brightens my days. You provide me comfort in all the little things that you do. Your deep and mellow voice sends a tingling feeling inside me that makes me want to keep you in my life. I love talking to you every time, every day, every night and every minute if I could. You're someone just simply amazing.
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Today, I am sharing my mother's story. I wish my mother was a constant in my life, like an angel who guards you to sleep and comes right there when you called. But angels come back home too, in heaven where they always belonged, and my mother went back a little early. My mother died when I was 13 years old. My last memory of my mother: Letting go when you are not yet ready is a very cruel thing that one has to ever experience. It is a sudden wave of total sadness and desperation crashing into your very core.
On the 28th of July 2013, we went to a resort in Bataan for the employees’ getaway. My parents own a 7-11 franchise, and it had always been a tradition to give their store clerks a get-together every year. I remember very well the last breakfast I had with my mother. The Sunday morning sky was clear and sunny, and the sea was calm and tranquil as we ate our breakfast on a cottage under the tall palm trees. She shared with us a strange dream she had the other night. She dreamt about an unknown woman holding an ice pick chasing her down on a dimly lit street, then she woke up just before the woman could grab her arm. We never knew what that dream exactly meant and now, I wished I never knew its meaning. After breakfast, my family and our employees decided to take a swim at the beach. The day was nice. The morning air may be chilly but the sun’s kiss on our skins gave us warmth. It was perfect. Everything is fine and the tides are low which made it very enjoyable to swim. We swam a little farther from the shore and we stopped to the point where the water reached our shoulders. We were talking about the good things in life and reminiscing the good old days. Those are the things that I’ve always loved about my family because I never had a meaningless conversation with them.
A few moments later, we heard a panicking call for help from one of our store clerks. It was Rachel. She was struggling to keep her head above water. She was already drowning but the odd thing was, she was only a few feet away from us. At first, we thought she was just playing around until we felt the sand in our toes dissolving like powder. It felt like as if the seafloor submerged deeper. I remembered sighting the shore and it seemed so close yet very far away. We were all panicking at that time. No one knew how to swim except my mother so without having second thoughts she swam towards Rachel and called out to my father, “Yung mga anak mo! Dalhin mo sa pampang yung mga anak mo!” and I never thought I already heard my mother’s last words to my father. I was paddling like a dog, gasping for air, as I say a little prayer to God to take us all back to safety. I felt my father grabbing our swimsuits, trying to lift our bodies so we can breathe even though he was also struggling to keep himself alive. Once I felt my toes touch the ground, there came a veil of relief that covered my whole body. As soon as my father and my sister made it to the shore we started calling out for help. There were no lifeguards on duty at that time, no personnel, nor guards. I saw my mother already floating in her stomach. We sighted a boat sailing nearby, we waved our hands and called for their attention. They almost ignored us because they cannot comprehend what we were trying to relay but the good thing was a passenger in the boat noticed my mother and Rachel in the water.
My mother’s body was laid on the shore. She was unconscious and her whole body was pale as white. My father performed CPR but my mother couldn’t get the water come out of her mouth because the food she ate earlier got stuck in her throat and blocked the passage. A concerned tourist offered his car to deliver my mom in a nearby health center or a clinic of some sort since the hospital was miles away from the beach and she needs immediate care. My father told us to stay in the hotel room and prepare mom’s belongings so that if she wakes up she has fresh clothes to change into. My sister and I finished packing our things and waited for our father to pick us up from the hotel. I was crying and I couldn’t stop myself because I was afraid to lose my mother. I couldn’t imagine what my life would be if I lose her that day. Moments lasted until we heard a knock on the door and it was my father, crying, and apologizing to us. He hugged me and my sister tightly and saying, “Sorry, anak, sorry hindi na uuwi si mommy, sorry hindi ko nasagip si mommy”. And that was the moment I felt sinking into the ground. I never knew what to feel at first. I was numb because my worries were now actually a reality that I have to live in. I was at shock because I am now one of the kids in those cliche teleseryes who lost a mother at an early age. We went to the health center to settle everything. The clinic was very small and it sure did lack equipment. He told us to stay in the car. I wanted to see my mom, but I know he never wanted us to see her like that. I didn’t know what to feel. I was having high anxiety levels that my stomach is churning and I wanted to vomit. I got off the car and entered the health center to find the restroom. When I was finding my way around, I passed by the emergency room. I saw my mother lying in a foldable bed, lifeless, her hands dangling from the side of the bed, she has violet bruises on her skin, and her body was partially covered with a white towel.
That is when it sunk into me that she’s dead and never coming back. My father asked the others to just commute back to Manila because what we need right now is comfort from our family. The drive back home was one of the most painful memory I had as a kid. My father was in the steering wheel crying his eyes out. We drove from Bataan to Pampanga. We went home to my grandmother’s house, the nearest house that we can call “home” because how are we still going to be “home” without her?
Once we reached Pampanga, we stopped over to the gas station and my father made some calls to our loved ones to tell them that my mother passed away. He then called my aunt to help him arrange for the funeral. We got home and my grandmother hugged us and told us to get some rest. Already tired of crying, I went to sleep for a while. I woke up and for a second, I thought everything that happened the other day was all just a dream. That she was there in Manila, sitting on the couch reading some furniture magazine, waiting for us to go home. But that’s how cruel life is, right? I got up and weirdly, I felt sands in the bed. It was gray, just like the ones on the beach. I thought maybe it was just dirt but it was a fair amount to believe that maybe she visited us before she left. - ?
- The part of how I conquered the grief of her passing is shared in my personal blog. I felt the need to share my story with everyone since she's the woman I look up to. Feel free to visit my personal blog too when you have the time. I love writing my stories. Thank You! link: http://qkathreece.wixsite.com/kathreecequizon/post/breaking-waves