A mature relationship doesn't mean everything's perfect or that fights rarely happen. A mature relationship means that you've decided to work on what you and your guy have through good times and even the not-so good times.
When you first enter a relationship, you'll spend a lot of time getting used to one another and getting to know each other's habits. Getting on a more mature level will take time and effort, but it's not totally impossible. Here are a few tips to help you with that, Candy Girls!
- Don't pretend that things are fine and that you are fine when something's up.
Most of us are guilty of this relationship habit. We try to keep silent and pretend that everything's fine when deep inside, we're holding the issue against our baes until we find ourselves going back to it during another fight.
If you have issues or there's something bothering you, let him know about it. Talk to him and explain your side. Ask for his help so you can get through this together. One thing that makes relationships work is communication, so communicate with your boyfriend in good times and especially in bad times.
- Listen and listen well.
For moments when we get upset or when we get so passionate about our stand, we have this guilty habit of listening so we can argue and get our point across. We listen to reply. But in a relationship, you're not only asked to listen so you know what you're going to say when it's your turn. You're also asked to listen well. Believe it or not, there are days (bad days, especially) when a listener is the only thing your partner needs.
- Know when to hold back and just apologize.
It's not about what you fought about. Sometimes it's about how you fought with your partner. We know it's not easy to let the other person win when you know you have a point or you're fighting for something right. But during moments when the fight gets too intense, know when to hold your tongue so you wouldn't make the argument worse.
During arguments, most of the time, we say something we don't really mean or we know we'll regret during intense moments. That's why when things get too serious, ask your partner if it's okay to stop talking for a few minutes just so you can compose yourselves and address the problem properly. Trust us, a few minutes of silence is better than spending a few minutes saying things you'll regret in the long run.
- Know when to speak up and stand your ground.
Sacrifice is another thing you have to get used to in relationships. There are really times when you have to step back and allow your partner to take the lead. However, make sure that you also know those moments when you have to speak up and fight for what you believe in. It's okay to submit to your partner's lead, but being in a relationship doesn't also mean you'll have to silence the voice inside of you.
- Don't leave or threaten to leave when things get hard.
Know when it's time to try and work things out with your guy, but also know when it's time to walk away. They say the greatest measure of maturity is being able to tell the difference between these two.
Got relationship troubles you want us to help you with? Leave a comment below or tweet us @candymagdotcom. We always love hearing from you. :)