Guys

5 Responses To People Who Hate Your Relationship

Or those who are not into the person you like.
PHOTO The CW

We don't know if hating is a trend nowadays, but we don't find it good. Most comments are aimed at putting something or someone in a bad light, that we can't help but feel bad for those involved. Even relationships aren't safe from all the hating. So the next time someone comments badly on your relationships or on the person you like, here's a list of responses you can tell them in return.

1. "Don't you know I harm those who get in my way?" Let them know you're just kidding and that it's such a buzzkill when they bug you with all their reasons on why you should never be in a relationship with him or that you shouldn't like him.

5 Responses To People Who Hate Your Relationshipvia giphy.com

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2. "Don't you notice more important things other than my love life?" There are a lot of important things going on in the world every day and you know that your relationship choices don't belong up there. So why do they even bother, right?

5 Responses To People Who Hate Your Relationshipvia giphy.com

3. "Mind your own business." Why do they even make your relationship a part of their day? You'll be the one spending the entire time with the person anyway.

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5 Responses To People Who Hate Your Relationshipvia giphy.com

4. "I know what I want." Don't they trust that you can make the choice on your own and that you have your own set of standards to live by? To each his own.

5 Responses To People Who Hate Your Relationshipvia giphy.com

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5. Or give them a moving speech about it like what Ian Somerhalder did on his Instagram account when bashers expressed their dislike for his relationship with Twilight actress Nikki Reed.

Apparently, Ian reads the comments on his posts and wrote a lengthy reply to the bashers, saying, "You HATE NIKKI REED? Really? Do you know her? Hmm, I'm not sure that you do. Look on her Instagram feed or Twitter and all you will see is a compassionate and beautiful human being. Please put your negative energy elsewhere. You don't even know the person you're talking about."

5 Responses To People Who Hate Your Relationshipvia truelovelikefairytales.tumblr.com

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He went on and assumed that maybe some of them were even his fans, which doesn't mean it's okay for them to express dislike. "Do you care about me? Ask yourself that question. What's the answer? Is it yes? If it is—then please be happy for me. Stop this nonsense—you're spreading horrible energy into the world. Do some research of the person you say sucks or you HATE," he wrote. "You'll find that she's a magical person doing great things in the world. I'm sickened and saddened by the fans' response to all this. Many fans have stood up [to] people like you and tried to empower you with some compassion. If we all thought a little or [learned] a little about people before we spoke about them, the world wouldn't be so upside down and in the worst place in history. If you hate Nikki then you must hate me... That's sad. Have an amazing day!"

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You've just been schooled, haters! Kudos to Ian for standing up for his relationship and his choices. Let's all just be happy for him.

But here's a little reminder, Candy Girls: If the persons who "don't like" your relationship happen to be your parents, maybe you should hear them out. Remember that they want nothing but the best for you and they always have the best intentions at heart when they tell you something, okay?

How do you deal with people who don't like your decisions, Candy Girls? Tell us about them in the comments or tweet us @candymagdotcom. We love hearing from you. :)

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About the author
Ayessa De La Peña
Candymag.com Assistant Section Editor
I am Candymag.com's resident fangirl and ~*feelings*~ girl. When I'm not busy researching about what to write next on the website, I sleep, read books, and re-watch episodes of Friends.
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Serene Fae A day ago

"The paradoxical idea of attaining a happier life and how to withstand these beliefs."

The Revolting Truth About Happiness by Theserenefae

If people ask you about your vision of a happier life we automatically envision ourselves having more money, true love, a better job, Instagram-worthy vacations, etc. But let me break this to you this, According to Dr. Laurie Santos, Professor of Psychology at Yale University and the voice behind The Happiness Lab podcast, "Most of the goals we think would make us happy do not really make us happy." And why is that? Simple, being happy is all in our minds. The human mind ploys us with these lenses on how we envision ourselves and our lives to be happy. The perception of "having" or "gaining" is the exact opposite of what will truly make our lives better. So how can we really be "happy"?

• Seek happiness inside you. This is a quintessential reason for our vision of happiness: misconceptions about having a lot of money would make me happy; owning this and that would make me happy; entering a relationship would make me happy. This is not the case, if you want to be truly happy with your relationship, you have to be already happy on your own. If you want satisfaction from others, you have to be satisfied with yourself. And so on.

• Fill that hole righteously We all have that tiny hole inside our hearts, tampering it with temporary band-aids. Fill this hole with purpose. Have you ever heard about The Three "M's"— Master, Mission, and Mate? Define who will be your Master, is it God? If that's so, your Mission could be following his words and will. Mate would be the last for they will be the best companion to fulfill your mission. Now hear me out, it is important to do this accordingly. We often times jumble it or invert it which can lead to failures.

• Give gifts to others. The wonderful grace in giving. There’s nothing like the rush of pure joy when you get a chance to give. However, this may not be something that we're used to. But apparently, openhandedness is our soul's true shape. As Eugene Peterson put it, "Giving is what we do best. It is the air into which we were born." This doesn't necessarily mean we have to give away our stuff but we can also present love, kindness, gratefulness, etc. in our own simplest ways to anyone such as giving time, encouragement, helping hand, or even forgiveness. Try giving and you'll receive inconceivable gifts in return.

• Savor moments. Savoring deeply intensifies our positive emotions while doing something that we love the most by simply stepping outside of the experience to review and appreciate the moment. You can practice this by having a delicious meal, reading a good book, or any activity that you enjoy and love. It can also be enhanced by sharing these experiences with others, appreciating such amazing moments, or staying present the entire time.

• Choose to Love Deeper Today's society relentlessly pressures all of us to have this "perfect" lifestyle such as pursuing careers that drain you, finding value through virtual world and purchases, letting achievements become your whole identity, and yet after all that you still feel empty and failure inside. Consumption is just skin deep—a shallow perception of happiness. Deep life brings the best out of us and others. It is about nourishing what you already have, focusing on the relationships than material wealth, becoming vulnerable at times, and being self-aware.

• Understand that Sufferings and Pain are part of Human Being. Always remember that loneliness and sufferings are inevitable. That is completely how life goes. You may be happy for a moment or a month but sooner or later great tribulation will start to kick in. Combat despair with graciousness. Count all the blessings that you have (and will have in near future, claim it!) by writing it down on a piece of paper or typing on your phone. Viola! an instant boost for happiness. We all know the fact that this superficial happiness won't work, but why do I keep on wanting? I already have all this wisdom about how to be happy for ages, but why can't I apply it to my own life?

First, you have to understand that simply knowing doesn't change your behavior. Care to realize that all the tips that I have mentioned are all verbs? Because at the end of the day, it is all about how you choose to be happy and initiate actions towards success. Know, reflect, visualize, believe, and do something about it. All of these are Actions! This is the secret of all the happiest and most influential people in the world—actions. Furthermore, do know that some of these tips do not work instantly most of the time. It requires a lot of time, motivation, consistency, and effort. I do know it's easier said than done. Take each of them slowly, one step at a time.

If it wasn’t for pain, I wouldn’t be alive. It may sound contradictory, but it’s true. Pain reminds me that I can feel, along with other emotions. Pain reminds me that I can heal, just like how I did in the past. Pain reminds me that I am strong and I can do better. It reminds me that life can be bitter, and it is up to us to make it a little sweeter (or saltier, depending on what the person wants).

With this epiphany, I take pain in a positive light. It’s normal that it can break me and make me want to stay in bed all day, but having someone or something remind me that there is hope is enough. It’s normal that I cry my heart out, but it’s important to remember that there’s a calm after the storm. If it wasn’t for pain, I wouldn’t be who I am now. It has shaped me and how I look at things. It has changed the way I approach circumstances that can challenge me and my beliefs.

Pain, back then, made me cower in the dark. Pain used to be my biggest fear, and I used to do my best to avoid pain. However, I realized that avoiding pain is like avoiding life. Because of how I wanted to protect myself, I closed myself off to people and opportunities. I used to tell myself that “this will end badly”, or “this is going to hurt in the end”. I always focused on how much pain I might endure in the end that I forgot to enjoy the process.

It’s inevitable, you see? Endings, most of the time, may hurt. It’s natural for us to grow attached to someone or something, and their disappearance might bring us a lot of pain. However, one should always remember that the pain is a reminder of how close you became, how many memories you had. If it wasn’t for pain, life would be pointless. If it wasn’t for pain, we would be nothing.

margaux marie A day ago
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